Lift My Heart
by KakashiSauce
Summary: Kakashi is so damaged he can't even get his issues straight. It's all well and good when he's the only one who suffers, but once Tenzou is brought into the equation, the results are so shocking that Kakashi finally realizes he needs help. Yaoi, KakaTenzou, KakashixTenzou, Kakayama
1. Chapter 1

Hey there, everyone!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for pretty much abandoning "Better Having Met You". I swear, I tried like three times to continue that fic, and I just can't. I think I don't like the direction it's going in anymore and I kind of lost heart with it. A lot of you wrote wonderful reviews, and I thank you and am so glad you enjoyed it. I hope you all like this fic, and hopefully it makes up for BHMY.

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There was just something in the way Tenzou's almost oblivious smile blazed at him that made Kakashi want to snuff it out. He knew it was twisted, and that it potentially (definitely) signaled some serious emotional issues that were chewing up his psyche, but there it was. Whenever Tenzou was nice to him lately, it made him want to be mean. It made Kakashi want to see Tenzou frown. To see him hurt.

"Great work in the sparring ring, Senpai!" Was his subordinates greeting as Kakashi entered the locker room, genuine praise shining in his bright eyes. The rest of the team had insisted in staying out longer since they were 'sick of getting shown up by a 4 foot rookie'. The Mokuton could be a tough thing to beat.

"It was the same as always." Came Kakashi's cold answer, though it did not have the effect it was supposed to. Tenzou continued to smile and his good humour did not waver, as if he was expecting that exact response from his leader. It made Kakashi that much more determined.

"Have you been debriefed on our next mission yet?" Tenzou continued without wavering, twisting around to strap his sword to his back as he spoke.

Kakashi opened his locker and tossed his towel in it before he answered shortly. "Later."

"Hmm." Was the distracted answer. Tenzou towelled off his hair without skipping a beat, Kakashi's sharpness rolling over him like smoke. Something twisted painfully in Kakashi's gut but he immediately snuffed it out. The jounin knew it was guilt; guilt laced with a thousand other things, but he refused to acknowledge it.

He'd been a pretty shitty friend lately.

It had been two years since Tenzou had bravely left Danzou to join ANBU -to join HIM- and they'd continued to grow closer as friends. Not only was it glaringly obvious that Tenzou was 100% loyal and devoted to Kakashi, but the young shinobi was even honest about it himself. He smiled brightly, with absolutely no embarrassment, and called Kakashi his 'Senpai'. Tenzou was an incredible ANBU who completed his missions without falter or failure, never second guessing an order, no matter who gave it to him. However, there was something different about his relationship to Kakashi. He trusted him without borders, without thought. It was as natural as breathing. Kakashi had brought Tenzou into the world, into the light, and the younger ninja made no efforts to hide what that meant to him.

And it was starting to 'get' to Kakashi.

Kakashi knew he was messed up. He knew it and yet, despite the time that had passed since his many tragedies, had made no efforts to try and steer himself onto the emotionally 'right' path. Kakashi preferred to keep people 'out', as it was much easier than losing them. But for some reason he STILL could not comprehend, his sense of justice and his genuinely warm heart had won over his crippled self esteem and he'd snatched Tenzou from Danzou's clutches and now he had him forever.

It's not like Tenzou actually annoyed him. On the contrary, he made great company. He, unlike Kakashi himself, had grown enormously since his escape from Root. He was much more social, liked by everyone he came across, and seemed to have some pretty solid leadership capabilities. Tenzou was, by all accounts, a stand up guy.

Which.

Yah know.

Was probably part of the problem.

"I got the plan-of-attack layout from Hiruzen-sama, if you'd prefer to have it sooner rather than later."

The words frittered through Kakashi's senses and snapped him out of his revere. He clenched his fists around his change of clothes and tried, with every ounce of his inner strength, to control himself.

"Thank you. Just leave it on the bench."

"Sure." Tenzou answered. Kakashi could hear the wrinkle of paper as his friend bent over and gently placed the scroll onto the metal surface as he had been told.

He was so good at following orders, that Tenzou. Danzou did a stand-up job hammering that concept into him. Ask no questions; just do. Kakashi had rubbed a lot of that training out of his friend the first few months they'd been together, but old habits die hard.

As Kakashi knew far too well.

"I'm going home now, Senapi. Do you need anything else?"

Perhaps it was remembering their bond, where it had started from and how deep it ran, that triggered his attitude to flare up again.

"No." Was his firm, chilled answer. So firm and so chilled that it caused Tenzou to stop dead in his tracks. Kakashi cursed himself internally for being such a floundering idiot.

"...Is everything alright, Senpai?" Tenzou asked quietly, as if he knew the likelihood of an honest answer.

Kakashi was silent for so long he was surprised Tenzou hadn't given up and left by the time he answered. "I'm fine, Tenzou. Sorry."

The apology seemed to do the trick. Tenzou knew Kakashi did not apologize frequently, so when it came, it was meant. The mokuton user smiled faintly to himself. "Alright, Senpai..."

Tenzou trailed off, as if he wanted to say something else, but didn't know if he should. Kakashi silently begged him to leave. Just leave it be before he did something he'd really regret.

"Ah...if you really do need anything, you can come to me, you know."

Kakashi ducked his head on instinct, as if physically moving would allow him to dodge the conversation. Something BAD was happening inside of him and he didn't know how to deal with it. He felt a dark cloud shift over his heart, one that was steadily growing larger.

"Thanks." Was his dead tone reply.

Tenzou seemed to hesitate for just a moment longer, but he had the good sense to know when he should go, and go he did.

Kakashi stood against his locker for a full minute, practically shaking. Something bad was happening. Something was breaking, something black and awful. He felt it crawling, _clawing_ its way up his stomach, along his spine, right into his brain. It was as if he literally saw black. He felt his sanity slip away.

Tenzou was to blame.

Kakashi didn't know how, but he knew it. He knew it was Tenzou. He didn't need anyone complicating his life, he didn't need anyone at all. Who did he think he was, hanging around all the time? Why was he trying to worm his way into Kakashi's heart?

Go after him, a voice said. Kakashi tried to ignore it. What would that do? No, this was insane. He needed to control himself.

Go after him.

Go.

_GO._

He did. He was running at full speed before he could process what was going on. In seconds, he saw Tenzou's back as his young friend headed down the hall. The next second he was on top of him.

Tenzou felt the presence blast up behind him seconds too late. He whipped around, and as he did, a fist connected with his jaw so hard it sent him flying backwards. Instinctively, the mokuton user went into defense mode. He spun, landed in a low crouch, and whipped out his katana. Panting, poised for battle, he stared down his attacker.

He almost dropped his sword.

"_Kakashi-Senpai_..." he whispered, his large eyes wider than ever. The hurt, confused look that dominated his features was almost enough to stop Kakashi. The copy-nin faltered as something gripped his heart painfully, but he was too far gone to back off. Not yet.

Again, he attacked.

Tenzou stared in shock for a second as his Senapi came towards him. For that one horrifying second, the part of Kakashi that was still conscious thought that Tenzou wouldn't fight back. That he'd be responsible for beating his friend senseless, a friend who wouldn't lift his finger against him.

But Tenzou was far too well trained for that.

Kakashi's vicious kick was blocked, and his next hit, and his next. Tenzou's taijutsu wasn't as sharp and honed as Kakashi's, but it was good enough.

"Senpai!" he panted, leaping back to avoid the next flurry of attacks. "Stop! What are you doing!?"

"_Shut up._" Kakashi hissed as he flew at him again, his eyes cold and dead. Tenzou utilized the split second he had to form his wood release. Smacking his fist into the ground, the brunette called up a wall of wood that crashed up from the floor and sent Kakashi whirling back to avoid the impact. He scaled the wall easily on his next move, and to Tenzou's absolute horror, blue lightning surged from his fist as he stood looking down at his comrade.

Their eyes met. Tenzou's hurt confusion had magnified by ten. "Is...is someone controlling you?" he gasped as his eyes darted to the chidori surging from his Senpai's side. Tenzou knew there was no way anyone would be able to replicate Kakashi's signature move, so it couldn't be an impostor.

"Can't you tell it's me? Aren't we _friends_?" Kakashi spat, barely recognizing his own voice. The absolute ridiculousness of the situation was slowly starting to become clear to him as he realized what he was about to do, and how he sounded. This was literally insane. He could be arrested for this, if anyone walked in on them right now. He could lose Tenzou's trust. He could lose it forever.

He could lose HIM.

Tenzou seemed to have no response, words lost to him. Kakashi's hesitance had started to slowly melt the tension in the mokuton users body. Whatever fucked up shit was happening inside of Kakashi's subconsciousness picked up on it and decided that was the que to strike.

In a flash, he rocketed off the wall and made a bee line for Tenzou, his chidori fist extended. In a whirl of hand signs Tenzou created a ball of wood as wide and thick as he could make it.

A crash, the twisted, splintering sound of thick, sturdy wood cracking. Silence.

Luckily for both of them, Tenzou had experience fighting Kakashi. His defense was wide enough that even though Kakashi's chidori had penetrated it, he hadn't been able to reach his target. Kakashi lay motionless, his arm extended, his fingers a mere foot away from Tenzou's face.

They stared at each other.

Whatever had come over Kakashi was gone. His eyes were wider than Tenzou had ever seen them. Shock, pure shock seemed to wash over him. Tenzou stared. He stared and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should still be scared for his life. He didn't know what he did wrong.

"I..." Kakashi started, his voice strangled. "I...don't know what came over me..."

Tenzou remained silent, eyeing Kakashi, assessing him, assessing the threat levels, trying to figure out if it really WAS him.

"Why...?" Tenzou croaked.

Silence greeted them. Tenzou tried to search Kakashi's eyes, but he only found shock and pain.

Kakashi swallowed before he answered. "I...I don't know..." He ripped his arm out, jumped back a couple of steps. He stared at Tenzou in his wooden cocoon, the only thing that had potentially kept him alive. Kept him from Kakashi.

"I'm sorry." The copy-nin whispered, his voice thick with emotion Tenzou had never heard from him before. He was gone in a flash.

It took Tenzou a few shaky moments to withdraw his wood release as he stared numbly at the ground. He could barely process what had just happened. He could tell something was off with Kakashi in the locker room, but for him to blindly attack him like that...all Kakashi had ever done was try to protect him. He'd never raised a hand against him that was unprovoked.

He had to figure out what was going on. Kakashi was at large and he was NOT himself.

As Tenzou whirled around to chase down his elusive Senpai, he nearly jumped back in shock. Two ANBU soldiers were standing in the hallway, arms crossed, as if they were waiting for him to notice them. Panic seized him. Had they seen what happened? What would they do with Kakashi?

One of them extended his arm to Tenzou.

"Please come with us." he asked gently.

Tenzou complied.

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They lead Tenzou to the Hokage's office in silence. The mokuton user found it strange that they weren't grilling him for details, but perhaps they were leaving that for Hiruzen to do. He still didn't completely understand the kind of relationship the ANBU had with the Hokage. It seemed very...trusting and friendly, which he still wasn't used to. Perhaps they intuitively knew what Hiruzen would want.

When they reached the doors to the Hokage's chambers, one of them knocked and entered while the other waited outside with Tenzou.

The poor brunette was beside himself.

He was scared for Kakashi, he was scared OF Kakashi, and it felt like someone had performed an entire dance number on his heart he was so pained that his Senpai had wanted to hurt him. The look in his eyes had been...murderous. It was clear from the aftermath that Kakashi had not truly meant him any harm, but it was hard to believe when that furious face was etched into his brain.

He jerked his head up when the ANBU returned from the Hokage's chambers. He looked directly at Tenzou when he spoke.

"Kakashi-taichou has turned himself in. He was already in there when we came. The Hokage says you can go home for now, Tenzou-san."

Relief washed over him and he barely controlled a deep sigh. At least Kakashi was somewhere safe, where he couldn't really hurt anyone. Now, however, came the issue of what would happen to him. He knew that Kakashi and Hiruzen were close, so perhaps there was safety in that. The Hokage would not act rashly, and if anyone could help Kakashi with whatever was going on, it was him. Tenzou squeezed his eyes shut long enough to get a grip, then nodded and bowed to his escorts. "Yes, ANBU-san."

"The Hokage wants you to return in the morning when you are ready; he'd like to have a word."

"Of course." Tenzou answered steadily, still deep in his bow. When he stood straight, the two nameless ANBU turned to face the Hokage's door, obviously switching roles and finished with Tenzou. The mokuton user took another shallow breath before he formed his seals and teleported out of the Hokage's office.

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"Hnn. And then what happened?" Hiruzen murmured around his pipe.

Kakashi knelt before him so low that his forehead practically connected with the rug. Truth be told, Hiruzen could barely understand what he was saying. He wanted to ask him to lift his head, but the unparalleled amounts of shame wafting from the ANBU's body told the Hokage it may not be physically possible. So he just listened REALLY closely.

"I lost control. It felt like I was possessed. I attacked him with the intent to kill. If he was even slightly less skilled than he is, I might have." the jounin whispered, his voice low and ragged. Hiruzen had never seen Kakashi so visibly low on himself. He knew the copy-nin had enormous gilt on his shoulders, but he'd never seen it brandished so brazenly.

"How did you feel when you attacked him?" the Hokage asked quietly.

For the first time in their little meeting, Kakashi was silent. Hiruzen cleared his throat gently. "Kakashi. This is a serious incident; if you are not honest with me, I cannot help you."

That seemed to do the trick. Kakashi swallowed thickly before he spoke again. "I...was angry. Confused. I can't...decipher what else."

_Can't or won't? _Was Hiruzen's automatic thought, but he kept it to himself for the time being. "So, Tenzou provoked you?"

"No." Kakashi answered quickly. "No, Hiruzen-sama. This is me. It's all me."

"What made you angry?"

Again, Kakashi was silent, but the Hokage could tell he would continue.

"I can't." Kakashi muttered quickly, looking away from the Hokage, as if the mere idea of answering burned him. "I...I'm ashamed. Of the answer."

"This is a safe place, Kakashi. I am not judging you, I only want to understand what happened. I'll remind you; if I don't know exactly what happened, I cannot make an appropriate decision."

The ANBU took a long, deep breath before he was able to speak. "He was being nice."

Hiruzen's eyebrow shot up. "Ah. Well. You two are friends, are you not?"

"Yes." Kakashi answered steadily, and he felt his heart swell as he realized how much he meant that.

"Were you confused as to why Tenzou being a good friend made you angry?"

Kakashi's face turned so red he actually perfectly matched the decor of the room. Hiruzen found the entire situation slightly entertaining if he was honest with himself. The pieces were starting to come together wonderfully and it was actually hilarious, especially since Tenzou was still in one piece.

"No..."

"Then, why were you confused?"

"..."

Kakashi actually looked like he was going to throw up at any second. Hiruzen waited patiently. "I...I can't. Hiruzen-sama..."

"Tsk, tsk..." Hiruzen tutted, standing straight up out of his chair. Kakashi's eyes followed him, slightly round at the turn the conversation had started to take. "Well. If you won't co-operate, I have to use the information you've given me already. What I have so far, is that you became enraged at a friend of yours for being nice to you. The only conclusion I can draw from that is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, in which case, I will have to have you removed from the roster permanently."

"NO!" Kakashi shouted instinctively, leaping up from his crouch. Hiruzen expertly held back a grin while Kakashi adjusted himself from his outburst. "I apologize. That was uncalled for."

"It's quite alright. I know how dedicated you are to your craft, Kakashi, but if you are mentally unfit to go on missions-"

"-It's how _he_ makes me feel_._" Kakashi blurted out. He smacked a hand over his mouth, his eyes betraying his absolute mortification. Hiruzen allowed himself a coy smile.

"Ahhhh. Well, now we may be getting somewhere. So, I'm assuming this is not anger you're speaking of. Allow me to understand the situation more; tell me, how does he make you feel?" The Hokage asked around a knowing grin. Kakashi's eyes narrowed in frustration.

"I don't know how to describe it." he answered stubbornly, since it was becoming quite clear Hiruzen knew exactly how Tenzou made him feel and was determined to make Kakashi embarrass himself.

"Homicidal?"

"No..."

"Depressed?"

"No..."

"You're not making this any easier. I'll have to go with my first judgement-"

"-I dont want friends." Kakashi ground out. "I want to be on my own."

Hiruzen suddenly looked worried. "So you tried to get rid of him so you wouldn't have any friends?"

Kakashi actually stuttered in confusion. "N-no! I didn't want to hurt him. That's the last thing I want to do; I'd kill anyone who touched him. I just...it's all in my head, all the time, it's been getting worse and worse. The closer I get to someone the father away I want to run. I was just...I just snapped. Something came over me...he seemed to be the source of my pain, and I just..." Kakashi was clutching the sides of his head and slowly back stepping away from Hiruzen as he talked, clearly distressed. He dropped his hands and looked up at the Hokage, his eyes tired and sad. "Maybe I do need to be Grounded. I'm a danger to everyone..."

Hiruzen, his eyes serious, stepped forward and placed a calming hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "No. You're not a danger, Kakashi. However, you do need to rest. I think I know what happened. You're really only a danger to yourself. I don't believe you would have killed Tenzou, so let that burden lift from your shoulders. If you really wanted to, he would probably be dead."

Kakashi dropped his head. "I don't deserve companionship."

Hiruzen 'tisked' again and walked back to his desk. "See; this is the source of the problem." he murmured as he scrawled something quickly over a scroll. "Your own insecurity and self loathing is the source of your actions. Despite how much you are going to hate me for this, I am assigning you to six months of therapy after two weeks vacation."

Kakashi's head jerked back up. "What?"

"Yes. That's right. And you will go to EVERY. SINGLE. SESSION. Do you understand the orders you are receiving?"

Kakashi stared in absolute horror. Hiruzen stared right back. They stayed like that for a full minute.

"...Really, though?"

"Yes."

"...Six months?"

"At least."

"AT LEAST?"

"If your therapist prescribes you more, you will have more."

Despite the mask he wore, Hiruzen could see the outline of Kakashi's jaw dropping. The Hokage stalked right up to him and handed him his scroll. "You will present this to the guards waiting outside of my office. They will take you to the Human Relations wing of the ANBU building. I'm certain our lead psychiatrist is till in the office. You will register with her, and then you will go on vacation. Two weeks, no more or less. Do you understand?"

The tone in Hiruzen's voice made it very clear he was being absolutely serious. These were official, legitimate, ANBU orders. Kakashi closed his eyes, sighed deeply, and bowed to Hiruzen as he accepted the scroll. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Go, then. And please, Kakashi. Not only for your sake, but for the sake of those who are important to you; take the therapy sessions seriously."

Kakashi felt immobilized by Hiruzen's words. Suddenly, he realized he was acting like a child. He had almost killed Tenzou and probably irreversibly damaged their relationship. And now, what? He was too proud to go to therapy? For almost blindly slaughtering someone who trusted and looked up to him? When the hell was he going to grow up?

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Kakashi whispered. He ducked his head in a sign of respect and acknowledgement. He would do as he was ordered.

Hiruzen was smiling as Kakashi walked out of the office.

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Okay, so that was a LITTLE morbid, but don't worry :D Tenzou's unscathed, that's all that matters, right?

Riiiiiight.

Hope you liked the first chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

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Kakashi paced behind the therapists door as if he was waiting to be interrogated by the enemy and his actual, physical doom could potentially be near. If he was honest with himself, he would rather have a thousand needles mercilessly stabbed into every inch of his body than go through a single session of therapy.

Finally, he heard the rattling of a lock. He perked up like a dog and stared hard at the door as it slowly opened to reveal a very refreshed looking ANBU rookie. Behind her was a thin woman with short, purple hair and far too bubbly bright blue eyes.

"Now remember, Nibibia. What is your automatic response going to be the next time someone makes you angry?"

The young ANBU smiled brightly. "I'm going to take three deep breaths."

"Yes! Wonderful. And you will not...?"

"I will not puncture their pupils with the tip of my shuriken."

"Okay. Yes, that's specific, but yes. No physical harm of any kind. Just breathing."

"Got it, Ami-san! You're such a big help, thanks!"

The two hugged, shook hands, and the ANBU woman walked away whistling pleasantly to herself.

Kakashi whipped his head around and stared down the open window behind him. He still had time.

"Hatake Kakashi...?"

Damn!

Hesitation is doom.

Slowly, he turned back around to face the therapist. She was smiling. He levelled her with his most bored, half lidded, give-zero-fucks expression.

"Maa."

She simply glanced down at her clipboard and put a check mark next to his name. "Please, come in."

Kakashi glanced down the hallway. He looked back to the therapist. Then back down the hallway.

She sighed.

"Hatake-san...these are mandatory sessions."

He blinked slowly. "Huh. You sure?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Yes. I'm sure. I've been working here for six years."

"Really? I've never seen you around."

"Hatake-san...will you please just get in the room? Your sessions is an hour no matter how long we stand in the hallway."

Kakashi shrugged with a light sigh and slowly shuffled past the already frustrated psychiatrist. She rolled her eyes heavily and shut the door behind them.

"Okay!" she breathed, as if trying to erase her initial impression of him and get down to business. She sat down into a large, leather chair directly across from Kakashi and flipped open his file.

"So, I see from the notes the Hokage sent me that this is actually pretty serious. You're a very respected Captain around here, Hatake-san, and I will do my best to show you the respect you deserve while we figure out what's going on."

That actually had Kakashi sitting straighter in his chair. He had to admit, he was expecting her to be a complete self-righteous idiot. Now that she seemed genuine, he felt a little bad about giving her such a hard time.

"Okay." He responded.

She smiled and pulled out a fresh pad of paper. "Alright. Let's get on with this, shall we? From what I understand, you had a bit of an episode and lashed out at a colleague, correct?"

Kakashi felt his shoulders slumping. This was going to be terrible, no matter how nice the therapist. "Yes..."

"Furthermore, you seemed to seriously regret your actions and insinuated that you had no control over yourself?"

Kakashi sighed. "Yes."

"Okay. This incident...was it initiated by a 'different' Kakashi?"

The jounin blinked slowly. "Huh?"

"What I mean to say is...do you think there might be another personality who attacked your friend, and not necessarily you?"

Kakashi's eyes widened ever so slightly. Holy crapmonkey. Did she think he had multiple personalities? This chick was under the impression that he was 100%, AAA Grade, No Preservatives added BAT SHIT CRAZY.

"No..." he answered as slowly and clearly as he could. "No. There is no other Kakashi."

"Hmm." Was her only response. She glanced down at his folder and began chewing absently on the back of her pen. Kakashi stared in mortified silence.

This could seriously not be happening to him right now.

"Alright. Right before you attacked him, and I mean just before, what was it that he said to you?"

With a deep, cleansing breath, Kakashi managed to will himself to cooperate. He had made up his mind that he would try and resolve his issues for the sake of his friends. Specifically, Tenzou. He owed the poor kid at least that much.

And really, if he was honest with himself, free lunch for a year was probably called for as well.

"He told me if I needed anything that I could go to him."

The therapist raised a very judgemental eyebrow. "And how did you feel about that?"

_What the fuck is it with people and asking me how I feel? I don't know, how do YOU feel? How do you feel when you eat lunch? How did you feel yesterday at 5 o'clock?_

"It made me angry."

She nodded sagely as she scribbled down his response. "What about it made you angry? Be specific. Does this friend annoy you in general?"

"No. I enjoy his company."

"Do you not want his support?"

Kakashi paused. It was against his very nature to be so honest with someone. There was no way he was starting now with this random chick who, lets be real, gave no fucks about him.

"I was hoping he would tell me he'd get me some ramen. It would have been a lot more helpful. I don't really need him for much else."

She stared in shock, her pen frozen on the paper. "Wait. So, you were angered by his words because he offered his support as a friend and not to buy you lunch?"

Kakashi looked at her like she was the stupidest person he'd ever seen. "Uh...yah? He usually does my laundry, so why not buy me lunch? He's supposed to know what I want without me saying it."

They stared at each other.

Kakashi smiled pleasantly. "Did you want more details?"

"Uh..." Ami looked down at her paper like she wasn't sure if she should write on it. "I have a feeling that isn't quite right."

Kakashi shook his head slowly. "How are we ever going to get anywhere if we don't have trust?"

She glared at him. "We won't get anywhere, Hatake-san, if you aren't honest with me."

The jounin blinked innocently. "But Ami-san...I was honest."

The therapist took a deep breath through her nose and flipped through his file without a word. After a few seconds, she pulled out a sheet of paper and read through it quickly. "Hiruzen-sama supplied me with PLENTY of reading material on you and your relationship with this young ANBU shinobi just in case you were not...'tempted to cooperate'."

Kakashi did not outwardly react, but inside he shook a fist at Hiruzen.

When she was done, she stuffed it back into his file none-too-gently and glanced up at him with somewhat pursed lips. "It says in your file that you and 'Tenzou-san' have worked together flawlessly for the last two years. None of your teammates reported any overt or suspected abuse. Actually, it's to the contrary. Hokage-sama is under the impression that you two trust each other a great deal."

Kakashi's eyes returned to their normal, half-lidded state.

_Damn you, Hiruzen. Is this why you gave me two weeks vacation? To dig up dirt?_

"Okay."

She exhaled loudly. "So. It's our first session, and within the first fifteen minutes, you lied."

Kakashi shrugged. "I have issues."

Ami stared blankly at him.

He smiled.

She rubbed her temples in long, broad circles. "Okay. Well. At least you admitted that. Now, Hatake-san, can we please get back on track?"

Kakashi slouched down in his chair, raised his arms into the air and rested them behind his head. He grinned. "Certainly."

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Tenzou whipped the last of his kunai without even looking at it. The weapon spun wickedly fast and sank into its target located behind his head at a 65 degree angle. He sighed lightly to himself and started to collect his things from the training area.

It had been just over two weeks since he'd seen his Senpai, and he was dying to know how he was doing and what was going on.

He'd had a meeting with Hiruzen the next morning as he was instructed. The Hokage had been incredibly kind to him, as usual. He assured him that Kakashi's actions were not personal in the slightest. On the contrary, his captain had been so thoroughly disgusted and ashamed of himself that he'd barely been able to explain his actions.

"As I'm sure you will understand with your background, Kakashi has been through a lot. He simply needs to sort some things out. As soon as you can, you two should speak to clear the air. I'm sure it would mean a lot to the both of you."

Tenzou believed Hiruzen, but there was just something...kind of gently prodding him in the heart every time he thought of Kakashi that was slowly starting to wear on him. It was like a dull piercing feeling. When he was honest with himself, he couldn't help but take it personally. Maybe there was just something...irritating about him that had set Kakashi off.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he wandered down a completely different hallway on his way to the locker room. Once he realized he was going in the wrong direction, he had no idea where he'd actually wandered to. It was a section of the headquarters he'd never been before. How very un-shinobi like of him to be unaware of his surroundings.

Suddenly, he could hear muffled talking from behind one of the doors. He had a moment of panic where he realized maybe he wasn't supposed to be there, but it was too late. The door was opening.

"Honestly, these therapy sessions are for YOUR benefit, Hatake-san. What do you honestly gain from yanking me around for an hour?"

"I just can't imagine what you're talking about, Ami."

"Ami-SAN, if you please."

"But, aren't we supposed to get comfortable with each other? To share our feelings?"

"PLEASE just leave, and be prepared to share ACTUAL FACTS tomorrow. If this keeps up I will report you to the Hokage."

Kakashi waved her off absently and she practically slammed the door shut behind him.

With a sigh, Kakashi began to walk speedily down the hall to get as far from the freakin therapists office as possible. As soon as he saw who was ahead of him, he stopped dead in his tracks. He felt the blood literally drain from his body and slosh around in his feet.

"Tenzou..." he rasped.

Quickly, Kakashi cleared his throat and attempted to recover himself.

The younger shinobi blushed slightly and stared at the floor, slightly shuffling his feet.

"Ah. Hi."

Kakashi watched his friend for a moment in what was definitely growing horror. His body language, the way he wouldn't meet Kakashi's gaze, and the way every muscle in his body tensed told the jounin Tenzou was afraid of him.

This was kind of his worst nightmare.

"How are you?" Kakashi asked with excruciating awkwardness. Tenzou glanced up sharply, obviously not expecting the question. That was another jab to Kakashi's gut.

"I'm...fine. Yah. I see you're in...therapy?" He asked quietly, his eyes flicking away from Kakashi again.

Kakashi's head fell almost down to his chest. Cool, now Tenzou knew he was seeing a shrink. Not only was this moment painful, it was embarrassing. He rubbed the back of his neck roughly. "Yyyyah...Hokage's orders. To be honest, I deserve it after what I did..."

They both meekly glanced up and their eyes finally met. Tenzou was surprised to see how genuine Kakashi looked. It made some of his tension melt away. Maybe...maybe Hiruzen really was right.

"...Senpai..."

"Tenzou, can we go somewhere...else to talk?" Kakashi asked with a very obvious back glance to the therapists door. The mokuton user found himself smiling at his captain's obvious hatred of his psychiatrist and their sessions.

"I'd like that."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The two of them walked side by side in thick, loaded silence. Now that Kakashi was by his side, Tenzou had to admit he hadn't walked away from their confrontation completely unscathed. He felt insecure, a little frightened and very confused. He didn't know if he should run away or follow his Senpai to an undisclosed location and just trust he wouldn't try to kill him again.

Finally, they arrived at the rooftop of the building. Kakashi lead them to a spot where there was a perfect view of the now setting sun. The copy-nin made himself comfortable on a thick ledge and gestured for Tenzou to do the same.

"This is nice." The mokuton user commented lightly.

"Mm. It's my thinking spot."

Silence once again descended upon them. Kakashi took a very, very deep breath before he just blurted out what he wanted to say like the awkward little muffin he was.

"I'm sorry. I can't even...I don't even know how to tell you how sorry I am. I tried to think of ways, and I can't."

Tenzou stared at him with wide, surprised eyes. It actually felt like someone was punching Kakashi repeatedly right in the heart when he looked at Tenzou's innocent, confused face. Actually like someone was sucker punching him, with metal knuckles, right in the heart organ.

"I don't annoy you?" Tenzou asked quietly.

Kakashi almost threw himself over the building.

"NO." He sputtered out so fast and loud Tenzou nearly jumped out of his seat. "No, Tenzou. No. No. No. Is that what you think? I may deserve to die. Wow. Simply wow."

Tenzou looked just as flustered. "Senpai, I didn't mean to...I mean, I shouldn't have thought that. Hiruzen told me it wasn't personal but I just...I wasn't sure..."

Kakashi grasped Tenzou's shoulders and forced him to look him square in the eye. The little mokuton user had never seen so much emotion in Kakashi's expression. He blushed brilliantly.

"We're friends. I appreciate your friendship. You don't annoy me."

"...O-okay..." Tenzou responded meekly with a tiny smile.

Kakashi felt something punch him in an entire different area of his body and he quickly released his friend in embarrassment. Why the hell did he have to be so...so damn cute?

"Okay. Good." Kakashi managed to say with a genuine, gentle smile.

There was silence between them again, but awkward it was not. It was heavy, but not awkward.

"S-senpai..." Tenzou started with obvious hesitation. Kakashi glanced at him in acknowledgement. "Ah...why is it that you attacked me?"

Kakashi considered the option of throwing himself over the building again.

"It's..." he began, completely unsure of how much to divulge. As Tenzou stared at him, his eyes trusting, searching and needing an explanation, Kakashi felt like the biggest asshole on the planet. If anyone deserved honesty from him, it was Tenzou. Once again, he reminded himself that he needed to grow the eff up.

"I have a hard time letting people in." Kakashi began. "Like you i've...pretty much lost everyone. I guess it was just too much for me, at that moment, having a friend."

Tenzou blinked once in confusion. "So..._why_ did you attack me?"

Kakashi nearly face planted. He rubbed the back of his neck again. "Ah...Tenzou. It's hard for me to explain, that's why I'm in therapy."

When Tenzou continued to stare expectantly, Kakashi realized he wasn't going to get away with that bogus explanation. "There's something in me that's dark. I never realized it until I came face to face with Danzou and Root. Whatever it is, sometimes, it takes over. Anger and guilt...and then it's all I know. What happened between us, it's never been that bad before. You didn't deserve that. I don't really deserve your friendship."

A little knowing, ultra sweet smile crept onto Tenzou's face. He slowly snaked his hand along the stone ledge and up to Kakashi's arm, where he laid it with the confidence of Kakashi not yet pulling away from him.

"Do you remember that mission where I was ordered to steal your Sharingan?"

Kakashi blinked. He hadn't actually thought of it in forever. "Yes..."

"I attacked you with the intent to kill. You told me I was your friend, and you refused to hurt me. You even saved me. It's I who wouldn't deserve your friendship if I didn't help you in YOUR time of need."

Kakashi's jaw dropped. Tenzou was completely serious. His hand felt warm and firm on his arm. Kakashi had not made that connection AT ALL, but Tenzou clearly held the memory in very high regard. The copy-nin felt his heart swell to the point where it was almost as painful as when he felt like a shitty human being. For some reason, he felt particularly touched because he couldn't remember the last time he'd had something reciprocated like that. He simply helped people on a daily basis without thinking about it. There was no such thing as an actual reward with ninja, save the warm fuzzy feeling of serving your village.

"Tenzou..." he breathed, and received a very sure smile in response. Tenzou held out a hand to Kakashi.

"Friends?"

The ANBU captain had to admit, he was kind of going to tear up soon. Like, at least ONE manly tear was ready to fall.

He kept it together by smiling warmly and taking Tenzou's extended hand. "Yes. Friends."

They both smiled at each other as the sun set illuminated the sky. Tenzou seemed like he wanted to say something, but was unsure of himself. Kakashi prodded him. "What is it?"

"Uh..." Tenzou, looking adorably unsure of himself, held up his arms in a sort of mother bear fashion and stared at Kakashi. "Do we...do this now?"

A blink. "What exactly is that you're doing?"

Tenzou flushed bright crimson. "It's supposed to be a hug..."

Kakashi snorted loudly but stopped himself when Tenzou looked too mortified to go on. The older jounin gently raised Tenzou's arms and spread them apart. "This is a little better."

The blush deepened. "Right..."

"Where did you see this?"

"Two ANBU were doing it yesterday. Oh...then they started doing something weird with their faces. Like...like smooshing them together." He punctuated his description by clasping his hands together and rubbing them around, looking extremely concentrated as he did so.

Kakashi barely kept his shit in check. Oh my god, how precious was this?

"You mean kissing?"

Tenzou froze. His eyes widened comically. "Oh...THAT'S kissing?"

Kakashi grinned wolfishly. "Yes, Tenzou. That's kissing."

The mokuton user made a face like he smelled something rancid. "That doesn't look very appealing..."

Kakashi burst out laughing so suddenly Tenzou jerked up and nearly lost his balance.

"I'm sorry. Really sorry." Kakashi wheezed, obviously not sorry at all. "I keep forgetting how little of the world you've experienced."

Tenzou flushed once again, this time with anger. "I! Well...I've experienced a little..."

"It's alright. I mean, you're only like...13..."

The mokuton user puffed up like a blow fish. "I'm 15! Almost 16!"

Kakashi laughed lightly. "I know, Tenzou."

The two of them had a fake angry stare down before Tenzou looked away with a bashful smile.

"Fine."

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

See? BETTER :D


	3. Chapter 3

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi and Tenzou's emotional make up session did NOTHING to encourage Kakashi to behave at therapy. It was the total opposite. He felt so thoroughly elated it was like he had no reason to be there at all.

Nevermind that the incident could totally happen again.

What are you talking about? Kakashi had ALL the things under control.

"You STILL haven't told me what it was that instigated you to attack someone you OBVIOUSLY care about." his therapist practically growled, leaning forward in her chair so far it was a miracle she hadn't toppled out. It was ten minutes into their session and the jounin was, as he was known to do, dicking her around.

Kakashi craned an eyebrow. "Obviously? And how do you know that?"

A large, sassy, knowing smirk spread across Ami's face like melted butter. It made Kakashi's skin positively crawl.

"I heard you and Tenzou outside my door yesterday. You should have heard how you said his name. Maybe I can repeat it..."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "Is mocking your patients part of therapy?"

"_Tenzzoouuu"_ Ami imitated in what Kakashi thought was a TERRIBLE rendition of his voice.

"Wrong." He stated flatly.

"Oh, but it was right. It matches perfectly with the data I received on you. I'm sorry if you think this is cruel, but I really need you to understand that I can TELL WHEN YOU'RE LYING."

Kakashi winced and poked a finger into his offended ear. "Loud."

Ami seemed to physically gather her wits as she fixed up her hair and switched the position of her legs. "Now. Let us really get going, shall we? I'm going to be frank with you, as it seems you need it. You don't actually care about this Tenzou, or ANY of your friends, if you aren't willing to fix a potentially lethal issue that directly affects them."

Kakashi stared at her in not at all disguised anger.

"You are making quite a few very bold statements when you really know nothing about me."

"That statement applies to anyone in your exact situation. You almost seriously hurt him, and you aren't willing to get to the source of _why_ that happened so you can prevent it?"

Kakashi had nothing to say to that because she was damn right and he knew it.

Tense silence stretched on for a few seconds before Kakashi broke it.

"The issue...is not how little or how much I care."

Ami waited for him to continue with an impatient, tight lipped expression that clearly stated she knew an excuse was coming.

"I simply have no desire to let a complete stranger into my head when I won't even let my friends near there."

"That-" Amy began with obvious satisfaction. "- is pure ego. Nothing else but ego. You are letting your ego get in the way of the health and safety of your team and friend."

Kakashi glared at her so heatedly he was honestly a little impressed she didn't burst into tears.

"You're going too far."

"That is the point of therapy."

Kakashi once again, and far too many times for his liking, had no response to that. Instead, he gripped the end of the arm rest of his chair so tightly the wood cracked and splintered under his hands. With a very gentle, almost inaudible exhale, he slowly let go and folded his hands in his lap.

Ami looked unimpressed. "Are you quite finished?"

"Yes."

"Shall we continue?"

"If we must."

"We must."

"Then, obviously, yes."

Ami sighed and flipped open her notebook again. Kakashi had never hated an inanimate object so vehemently. "Alright. We are still at the point where Tenzou told you you could always turn to him for help and you...?"

"Snapped." 

"Yes. Got that. We are trying to get to the root of _why_ you snapped. At that moment, PLEASE, share with me what it was that you felt."

Kakashi stared long and hard at his arch nemesis, The Therapist. As much as he hated to admit it, she had made some pretty valid points. Points that made him feel like The Fucking Shittiest Pile of Crappy Shit That Was Ever Shitted Out By A Living Being. This was NOT his ideal way of figuring himself out, but he might as well look at it as 'too damn bad' for him. He had waited this long to get help, and now, this is where it lead him.

To Bitch Face.

"Fear." Kakashi admitted shortly.

Ami, with much credit due to her, looked somber and wrote a small note in her book. "Okay. Do you know why you were afraid?"

"I don't want to get close to people."

Ami wrote away frantically and merely glanced up at Kakashi as a signal for him to keep going. He gripped the chair again and forced himself into his Ultimate Discomfort Zone.

"I lost my entire family. Including my team and my Sensei. It wasn't fun."

His therapist nodded to herself as she finished off the last of her notes. She looked right at Kakashi, her face solemn and serious. "So. You were afraid because you felt you were getting too close to Tenzou?"

Kakashi wanted to mock slow clap for her but he kept himself under control. "Yes."

"Thank you for your honesty, Hatake-san. Now, we need to move forward a bit. It couldn't be just fear that compelled you to act against your will, to the point where you had no control over yourself. At what point did you feel you couldn't predict your own actions?"

Oh god, this was literal agony. He tried to remember a time when he was physically tortured and it legitimately did not measure up to this. He would rather throw himself into Ibiki's willing arms than go through another SIX MONTHS of this incredible horror.

He closed his eyes tightly until he mustered up the will to continue. "It was slowly happening as we spoke. We were alone in the locker room after training. We were just having casual conversation. Lately...any interaction with him sets me off."

Ami obviously thought this was pure gold as she was scribbling so wickedly fast Kakashi wondered if she had some kind of ninja training.

"I know this is hard, but please describe what you mean by 'sets you off."

Kakashi almost snickered to himself at how filthy that sounded, but he remembered to stay at least partially mature. "I...am overcome with...something."

Ami looked up at him with a flat stare. "What something?"

The jounin glared in frustration. "Is that really all your job is? Just put a question mark after everything I say?"

Ami looked like she was going to snap back, but reigned herself in and stood up straighter. "I'm sorry. I just need you to be more descriptive. We know you're afraid of intimacy-"

"-Wow, that was never mentioned at all, ever, at any point-"

"-and we know you feel this fear when you interact with Tenzou, but we need something that will paralyse you to the point of receding into your subconscious."

"Going...where, sorry?"

"Just tell me what happened." Ami grumbled.

As was customary with the copy-nin, there was only so much 'sharing' he could do before some kind of mechanism snapped in his brain and the Communication Train derailed. Said train was now off such rails and rocketing towards the side of a mountain at break neck speeds.

"I'm done sharing for today." Kakashi ground out evenly, crossing his arms over his chest to signify just how done he was.

Amy turned around and glanced at the clock."We have thirty more minutes."

Kakashi merely shrugged in response.

They stared each other down for the umpteenth time in two days.

Kakashi won this round. He strolled out of the office a beautiful twenty eight minutes early with Ami flinging Hokage like threats after him as he went.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tenzou was reading an architecture manual in the common room when Kakashi waltzed in looking far too proud of himself than a session of much hated therapy warranted.

"Good afternoon, Senpai! You look well."

The sweet, bright smile on Tenzou's face warmed Kakashi's heart. And then...just as suddenly, turned it to ice.

His entire face went white as the horrible, numbing dark something starting swirling in his gut. Tenzou could obviously tell something was wrong, so he placed his book down on the bench and slowly stood.

"Senpai...? What's wrong?"

"Ah..." Kakashi responded shakily, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing them with his fingers. "Nothing. Sorry. What were you saying?"

"I...said you look well."

The pained look on Tenzou's face, much to Kakashi's horror, seemed to calm the waves of panic that were surging in his chest.

"Therapy went well." he stated simply, completely horrified with himself. Was he starting again? Was Tenzou in danger? This is how he'd felt before he snapped, when he couldn't handle seeing Tenzou's bright face. It was one of the things he liked about Tenzou the most, and he was losing it. Losing it to whatever the fuck was wrong with him.

He zoned back in to reality to see Tenzou had taken a few steps towards him. He threw up his hand. "Stop."

Tenzou did. He stared silently, as if he knew that talking would make it worse. Kakashi took a few deep, calming breaths, but it did nothing. He needed to be away from Tenzou.

"I've got to go." he murmured, before disappearing without another word.

The mokuton user stood in the now empty room, his arms limp at his sides, obviously unhappy. He turned and walked dejectedly back to his book. He picked it up, held it to his face, but did not turn a single page in the next 30 minutes.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi whisked himself away to his house and laid on his bed, pillow over his face.

What could it be.

Why was he like this.

Was he evil? Was he inherently bad? Was it inevitable that he'd turn on his friends?

Or was he just incapable of love?

He was broken. Shattered in so many places that maybe he was impossible to put back together.

As much as he hated to admit it, he needed that therapy. He needed to take it seriously.

Fuck.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next day Kakashi hit the sparring room hard. He kicked the crap out of ten of his ANBU comrades before he agreed to leave the arena. It was pretty clear he wasn't in the greatest mental shape, as the wake of groaning bodies depicted quite obviously.

He walked into the kitchen and poured an entire glass of water over his head. He didn't know what to do with himself.

"As nice as seeing you wet is, I can't help but think it out of place."

Kakashi merely glanced to the side to acknowledge the young ANBU woman who had entered the kitchen. Her name was Mina, he'd worked with her before.

"I'm hot."

"Yes. I know. But now the floor is wet."

Kakashi glanced down. "Oops."

A troop of ANBU flitted into the kitchen. Most of them went about their business, but one took a very keen interest in Kakashi.

"Hey there, Kakashi-taichou." The random ninja greeted with a cheeky grin. He leaned on the counter next to the copy-nin, his demeanour far too familiar for Kakashi's tastes. He could almost smell the other ninja's brain burning from his over-zealous hotheadedness.

"Heard you're ah...talking to a 'doc'?"

Everyone hushed and turned to pay attention to their conversation. Kakashi felt a sliver of murderous rage creep its way into his chest. He did nothing to show his rage on the outside, however. Kakashi was a mask of careless clam.

"That's definitely top secret. You should know better as an ANBU."

The man in question, who Kakashi didn't even remember, laughed obnoxiously to himself. "Right. My bad. I just thought it was weird that someone who is supposed to be leading people into dangerous missions can't even tell the difference between real voices and the voices in his head."

Everyone stared in horror at Kakashi for his reaction. Clearly, they knew the jounin captain better than their uppity comrade did.

"I find it funny that someone with absolutely no talent managed to worm his way into ANBU. I didn't know the higher ups took sexual favours. I thought we fazed that system out years ago..."

Someone spit out their tea. The nameless ANBU looked furious.

"You're one to talk about 'sexual favours', Hatake. Do you keep that little rookie around for his skills with wood?"

Everyone screamed and leaped up as Kakashi whipped out a kunai and flung it, with zero hesitation, straight at his opponents head.

A loud "THUNG" sound rang through out the kitchen. Kakashi's kunai had hit, funny enough, wood.

The crowd turned en masse to face the entrance of the kitchen. There Tenzou stood, his hand pressed to the ground, his embarrassed flush still fresh on his cheeks.

Awkward, strained silence filled the space. The only thing that could be heard was the loud panting of the dude who had almost had his brain skewered by a kunai.

"I guess his skill with wood does come in handy, doesn't it?" Kakashi stated far too casually. He strolled around the wooden barrier, the small crowd parting like the sea for him as he went. He flicked the offending ANBU in the nose, grabbed his kunai, gently took Tenzou's arm and walked calmly away.

The rest of the ANBU waited until the pair were out of earshot before they bolted up and proceeded to tell their comrade with a death wish how much of an idiot he was.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The two travelled together in dead silence. Tenzou was utterly unsure of what to do, despite the plethora of questions he had for his Senpai. Kakashi seemed eerily calm and collected, considering he'd nearly killed someone not five minutes ago.

With a small little gulp, Tenzou decided to go for it. "S...Senpai...?"

Kakashi looked down at him. "Yes?"

"What's going on?"

Kakashi stared in silence, his eyes vacant. "I need help."

Tenzou did not seem surprised by this answer, but he did look determined.

"I can help you, Senpai."

For the first time that day, Kakashi smiled. "No, Tenzou. You can't. But thank you."

Tenzou frowned, obviously frustrated that he wasn't going to be of service to his Senpai. There was no pity in his gaze, no dramatic sadness. He didn't seem to judge his captain at all for what he was going through."Do you think those therapy sessions could help?"

Kakashi closed his eyes, still loathe to admit it despite everything. "Yes."

His kouhai nodded in understanding. "Okay. I hope so. You don't look happy, Senpai. I've never seen you like this before." 

Kakashi glanced down, suddenly keen. "Have you noticed anything different about me before now?"

Tenzou nodded, his face concentrated. "Yes, a little. It seems you've been acting weird for a while, but you don't really tell me what's wrong, so I couldn't tell if you needed help." Tenzou glanced up, his face betraying a slightly wary caution with what he was about to say that made Kakashi sad. "I want to help you, you know. If you'd tell me, I'd help."

Kakashi stopped, grasping Tenzou's wrist and stopping him as well. He stared down at his younger companion, his eyes betraying nothing. He noticed Tenzou looked a little frightened, and he hoped he never saw that expression aimed at him again.

Without a word, Kakashi bent down and scooped Tenzou up into a tight hug. He felt the mokuton users muscles tense, but relax when he realized he was safe. More than safe.

"Tenzou...whatever happens, please remember this." he breathed, the scent of Tenzou's long hair filling his senses. He briefly reflected on how surprised he was that Tenzou hadn't cut it yet...but he was glad. He really liked it.

"Okay..." was the tiny answer, and Kakashi pulled away to notice Tenzou looked like he was absolutely mesmerized. His mouth formed a little 'o', and he was staring at Kakashi like he just sprouted wings. It reminded the copy-nin that what they shared may have been Tenzou's first hug. It seemed he enjoyed it.

"You know I would never mean to hurt you, right, Tenzou?"

The younger shinobi nodded wordlessly. A warm smile spread across Kakashi's face, silenced by the mask he wore. There was something sort of sadistic about his internal reaction to Tenzou being so unabashedly open with him. He knew it had to do with his innocence, his willingness to follow Kakashi, to be by his side, to do what he asked. It was the control; he had control over Tenzou. His friend was smart, and was getting smarter by the day. Other people couldn't boss him around, couldn't attain the same kind of loyalty. It was just him. That knowledge, that he _had _Tenzou, was what terrified and also thrilled him.

Tenzou flushed crimson from the extended contact and attention from Kakashi, a sight that snapped the jounin out of his revere, his more sinister thoughts having no place in the current moment they shared. Instead, he chose to capture the image of how utterly adorable Tenzou looked still in his arms, confused by their physical closeness.

"Maybe I'll see you tomorrow at training." Kakashi said before releasing Tenzou completely. The mokuton user looked confused as Kakashi began walking away from him.

"Wait, don't we have a mission debrief soon?"

Kakashi merely waved behind him as a response before he disappeared in a billowy whisk of smoke.

Tenzou gazed at the spot his Senpai once occupied, his confusion replaced with concern. The tiny ANBU placed a gentle hand onto his chest, where it was still warm from Kakashi's embrace.


	4. Chapter 4

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The copy-nin sighed to himself as he strolled down the seemingly endless hallway to his fate. He knew he would never make it out of that therapists office with his sanity in tact, which was kind of ironic since he was going there to get MORE sane. There was something calming, however, about the idea of resigning himself to his therapeutic doom. He hated opening himself up to people more than he hated many other things, so the strange peace he'd made with himself to get it over with had a somewhat serene affect on him. He was okay with it. He was actually kind of, sort of okay with it.

That was until he saw Hiruzen standing with Ami outside of her office.

Well! She'd actually tattled on him. That heathen wench.

When the two of them saw the jounin approaching they instantly halted their conversation and laid two very heavy stares right into his unsuspecting eyes.

Yikes.

"Kakashi." Hiruzen greeted gruffly when the ANBU had come within comfortable talking distance. "I'm surprised to see you here."

The jounin lay a delicate hand on his chest. "Maaa...Hiruzen-sama. I'm wounded."

"Are you? Well, it's a good thing the ninja you attacked in the kitchen wasn't as well, or we'd have a real mess."

Oh.

That.

Riiiiiight.

Kakashi had the sense to look ashamed as he tentatively scratched the tip of his nose. "Ah...yes. That's why I'm here so early. I understand I haven't been cooperative for the last couple of sessions, and I apologize for that. I'm going to take it seriously from now on. I...have realized I need it. Desperately."

Both Ami and Hiruzen stared Kakashi down as they assessed the sincerity of his words. Kakashi scrunched his shoulders up and looked rightfully bashful as they did so.

"Kakashi. I came here to tell you that if you skip a single therapy session, or leave before Ami has decided they are over, you will be incarcerated. I mean that when I say it. I have given Ami full rights to have you detained indefinitely if she feels you are purposefully not being cooperative. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

Well.

This was one of those times Kakashi was thankful he decided to go with the masked look. He struggled not to outwardly react as he digested the fact that Hiruzen was so fed up of his bullshit that he was at the point of tossing him into a jail cell and leaving him there. Obviously, Hiruzen was just trying a bit of tough love, but Kakashi wasn't stupid enough to test him and see how far his threats went. The jounin coughed lightly into his hand and tried to look serious and not slightly panicked. Well, and a little insulted if he was honest with himself.

"Ah...yes. I will dedicate myself to my sessions, Hokage-sama. I have no intentions of turning back, or short changing myself."

Or spending ANY time at all in jail. FUCK. THAT.

Hiruzen seemed to understand Kakashi's train of thought and smiled around his pipe. "Very good. Because I have absolutely no intentions of going easy on you, Kakashi. The situation was serious before, but now it may be life or death. Please give Ami your full attention."

Kakashi bowed to Hiruzen to show his dedication. Bowing also conveniently hid the sweat that was slowly collecting on his forehead. Hiruzen could be pretty scary when he wanted to be.

The Hokage seemed to be right with this, as he nodded his goodbye to Ami and quietly strolled away without another word to Kakashi. He did, however, place a very gentle hand on the jounin's shoulder before he passed him. It made the copy-nin smile to himself.

There was a moment of silence where Kakashi glanced up at Ami from his bow and she studied him from her place at the foot of her office. She stepped aside a moment later and gestured through the door.

"Shall we?"

Kakashi stood his full height, smiled somewhat pleasantly, and walked inside. Ami followed him with a knowing smile on her face.

When she shut the door behind them and took her seat across from Kakashi, she gave him an unexpected somber frown.

"I was actually disappointed to hear about your confrontation today, Kakashi. Despite how difficult you insist on making our sessions, you have actually made some progress."

The last thing Kakashi expected was for her to somewhat sympathize with him. He adjusted himself slightly in his seat and tried to think of how to respond. "I, ah...would prefer not to talk about it."

Ami grinned.

Kakashi sighed loudly.

Right. Don't have that option.

He rubbed his temple roughly before he continued. "First of all; he spouted top secret information to a room full of people. Yes, they were ANBU, but these sessions are kept secret for a reason. Then, he proceeded to insulted me and essentially validated the reason therapy is kept a secret in ANBU-"

"-which is?"

Kakashi shot her a look of impatient annoyance. "It makes people question the ability of their commanding officers when they don't have the authority or information to do so. Which is what he accused me of; being incapable."

"Ah." She answered, scribbling away in her notebook. "Is that all?"

The jounin blinked. "Is...that not reason enough?"

With a sigh, Amy crossed her arms in front of her. "You're hiding something from me again."

Kakashi analyzed the look in her eye and realized she'd probably been debriefed about every detail of the incident. Well...fine. Everyone was apparently out to get him.

"He insinuated I keep Tenzou around for pleasurable purposes. Which is disrespectful to Tenzou as well as myself. Happy now?"

The look his therapist was giving him made him want to crawl under the nearest shag rug. It was a very troubling combination of satisfied knowing and complete victory.

She leaned forward slightly.

Kakashi leaned back.

"Why would you keep that little tidbit from me?" she whispered with far too much know-how.

Her question was greeted with a deadpan look from her patient.

"I don't like sharing. We've been over this."

"So, that was just a random fact you decided to hold back from me? Picked willy-nilly with no forethought?"

"...Yes?"

"Kakashi." Ami warned. "You're supposed to be honest with me. I know you're lying."

It enraged Kakashi that he actually felt bad about how he was still not taking his therapy sessions seriously despite everything that had happened within the last two weeks.

He was going to have to make this Ami person pay somehow. In the meantime...

"Fine. I was embarrassed. That's why I didn't tell you."

"Embarrassed..." Amy paused for dramatic affect. "...Because anything to do with your 'friend' affects you so strongly?"

Kakashi regarded Ami with barely concealed distaste, his eyes narrowed in annoyance. "You're enjoying yourself."

She shrugged. "I like it when things come together."

"You like being right."

"Now, now!" she chided, waving her pencil. "This is not my therapy session; it's yours. Now. Did I hit the nail on the head?"

He sighed heavily. "Yes."

"Alright." she concluded quietly, scribbling something in her notebook. For the umpteenth time, Kakashi found himself massaging his temples in a futile attempt to control his temper.

"To speed things up, I'm going to give you a breakdown of what I've gleaned from our three sessions together. Kakashi...it is extremely important that you are totally honest with me about how accurate I'm being. Ok?"

He stared.

"Yah."

"Great!" She continued unabated. "So. What I can see, is that you have some very deep, unhealed trauma from losing so many of your loved ones. Actually, unhealed is an understatement. You have been completely avoiding dealing with any of the emotional distress you've been keeping in regards to the losses you've suffered. Not only that, but you choose to shelter yourself from ever feeling those losses again, which throws your so called 'demons' even further down the rabbit hole of your subconscious. Fortunately, nothing stays hidden forever. What's happening is you're slowly starting to lose control of the 'dungeon' you've stuffed every issue you've ever had but never wanted to deal with. Your friend Tenzou is calling up emotions you've stuffed down deep into your psyche because you didn't want to feel them. And with those emotions comes all of the demons that are attached to them. You said you have slowly started to feel worse and worse around your friend; that's because your bond is probably growing, and with that, all the things you fear the most. Am I making sense so far?"

Kakashi blinked his wide eyes once.

"Uh. Yah..."

"Okay. So, basically, until you reach inside of yourself, pull out everything that torments you and systematically work through each and every one, you will, from this moment forward, probably not be able to function as a normal human being in society. Also, you'll lose your friendship with this Tenzou, and every other person you could potentially be friends with henceforth. Does that make sense?"

Silence.

"So...I'm a gigantic mess?" 

"Well. If you want to put it so crudely, then, yes."

"Ah."

"But, you can be fixed! It just takes dedication, and the bravery to face your demons."

"Kay."

Ami stared at Kakashi, who looked like he was on another plane of reality all together. "Umm. How yah holdin' up over there?"

"Fine." He responded, his expression somewhat neutral and inconspicuous if one didn't notice the slight panic slowly gathering at the corners of his eyes.

"Okay.." she tried, leaning to the side and attempting to coax Kakashi into following her with his eyes. He continued to stare dead ahead. "You don't look fine."

"I'm fine."

Ami bit her lip.

"Huh. Well...we'll just move along then." She replied cautiously. "I think the most important issue for us to address is your hesitance to open up to people, even in regards to telling them anything about you at all. I know this question is going to seem silly, but it's important that we work through it together from the beginning. So, bare with me. Now. Why do you find it so hard to tell people about yourself?"

Kakashi blinked slowly. His mouth made some slight movement, but it seemed like he physically could not get it to open. Ami watched with morbid fascination as Kakashi struggled with himself internally.

"...Kakashi?"

"I can't do it." he whispered. His eyes told her he was actually, genuinely upset about this fact.

Ami held her hands up quickly. "Of course, of course. There's no rush at all, we have plenty of time. I'll wait." She put her book down on the table, her hands in her lap, and smiled at Kakashi supportingly.

He stared. The lines around his eyes slowly increased. He made a small, strangled kind of 'meep' sound. Ami frantically struggled to think of how to assist him.

"Ahhhh...you know...OH! Okay, let's try this. Tell me ONE thing about yourself."

This seemed to do the trick. He seemed to think, calmly, about her request for a moment before he answered.

"I'm always late on purpose."

"Good! I mean...interesting, but good start! Why are you late on purpose?"

Kakashi seemed to emotionally snap shut like a trap door. Ami found this interesting. He really, truly did not want to talk to her. This could be a huge issue.

Suddenly, she had it.

God damn she was a genius.

"Okay. Kakashi, I think I know how to help you, but i'm going to need your consent on this. You may not like it at first, but I think its what will truly help you work through what you need to."

Kakashi raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Shock therapy?"

"Wha...? No! We still do that?" She shook her head and jabbed a finger at him. "Pay attention! My plan is to get Tenzou in here to talk to you instead of me. I still want you to slowly start opening up, but I don't think that's going to happen if I'M the one your speaking to. However, I think if it's someone you trust, you'll have a much easier time. What do you say?"

"Kinda sounds like your getting someone else to do your job." He responded easily.

Ami glared. "Not...even sort of close to my end goal, Kakashi. I need you to be serious about this."

He sighed dramatically. "Fine. So, Tenzou comes in here. And what...? You feed him questions?"

"Well...sort of. I'll kind of be directing the whole thing."

"But you'll still be in the room?"

"Yes."

"Listening?"

"Yes..."

He shook his head. "Defeats the purpose."

She pursed her lips and exhaled loudly through her nose. "Okay. Lets keep going with that idea...what would be most comfortable for YOU?"

That actually seemed to get Kakashi's attention. He leaned forward and rested his chin on his hand, his slightly furrowed brow betraying his legitimate concentration. His eyes flicked back up to his therapist, and there seemed to be a spark in them that she hadn't seen yet in their sessions.

"You have recording devices?"

She blinked. "Yes, we do."

"Set up a microphone in the room. Give Tenzou some general direction of what you want us to accomplish, and then leave us alone."

Ami considered this for a whole second before she realized it could totally work and what a great idea.

"Okay!"

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tenzou sat in the locker room, slowly forming a tiny little dollhouse in his hands. He had a pile of books laying sprawled out around him, ranging from interior decorating to architecture to gardening. His eyes were narrowed, his tongue was slightly poking out of the side of his mouth and he sure as hell meant business.

A 'poof' sound made him squeak and nearly sent his precious creation careening into the ceiling. He couldn't even be irritated for a second as his disturber was revealed to his great pleasure.

"Senpai!"

Kakashi smiled in response and stepped up to his young friend. "What have you got there?"

Tenzou glanced down at his half finished house. With a bright smile and much excitement, he practically shoved the thing directly into Kakashi's face. "I made it! I finally got an attic to go in there without ruining the roof. What do you think?"

Kakashi gently took it from his energetic comrade and turned it around in his hands. "Wow."

"Really? You like it? I've been working on it all week. There's just something about designing buildings that I can't get enough of."

Tenzou bent down and began tossing discarded magazines around. Finally, he resurfaced, his smile brighter than ever and a chosen volume in his hands. "See? I got most of my ideas from this, but then I kind of added my own designs, and I especially didn't like the way they put the sliding doors in-"

"Tenzou." Kakashi interrupted gently.

His excited yammering ceased. "Ah, yes?"

"Remember when I said you couldn't help me? Seems I was wrong."

Tenzou's smile seemed to grow twice its size.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ami broke down the gist of what was going on to the little ANBU shinobi in no time. He seemed to be slightly uncomfortable with the idea of basically having to dissect Kakashi emotionally, but was willing to try none-the-less. Ami sat him down in her usual chair, hooked a tiny little microphone onto his chest armour, gave them both an excited thumbs up and hurriedly exited the room.

For a tense moment, all they could do was stare at the floor.

Tenzou rubbed his arm uneasily. Ami had told him what to do, but he still didn't know where to start.

"Ah...so...Senpai." he began quietly. "Ami-san mentioned that you told her your tardiness was actually intentional? You know it drives our meeting leader crazy when you show up half way through mission debriefs."

Surprisingly, this seemed to do the trick. Kakashi assumed his usual casual, couldn't care less demeanour and easily waved off the implications he was assailed with. "Maaa...it's not so bad. She's used to flaky people; all ANBU are like that."

"Yes...but, why are you purposefully late?"

With just a small pause for a deep breath, Kakashi continued. "It's a habit I picked up from a friend. I used to be extremely punctual. Lamely punctual, really. I took things too seriously. Now I try not to take them seriously at all."

Tenzou blinked in confusion. "What made you think you were too serious? A shinobi _should _be serious."

A shadow seemed to pass over Kakashi's face. "There are always exceptions to every rule, Tenzou. That was my problem. I saw no exceptions, I followed every single rule blindly to the last word."

Like a bolt of lightning, something passed between the two of them. Kakashi looked deep into Tenzou's eyes with a knowing, dark gaze that instantly made the mokuton user remember the fateful moment when he decided to leave Root.

He, too, had followed orders without thought. Perhaps Kakashi had been like this in the past.

"Were...you like me? And your friend, he was like you? I mean...when you came to me, I had never given a single order another thought. But you showed me I was wrong. Did he do that for you?"

Kakashi seemed to close in on himself as Tenzou spoke, his shoulders curling in and his head dropping. He was silent for a while, his bangs obscuring his eyes. Tenzou worried he'd said something wrong.

"Yes."

Tenzou was uncertain as to whether he should continue or not, but Ami had stressed that Kakashi needed to get as much of his past in the open as possible. She said it was the only way to help him. So he continued.

"What happened to your friend?"

For some reason, there seemed to be no hesitation with Kakashi in answering Tenzou's question.

"He died. For me."

It was all Kakashi really needed to say. Tenzou sat straighter, understanding the situation completely. They stared at each other, the moment tense, but more with the gravity of what was being shared than any actual tension.

"So, you took on his way as your own?" Tenzou asked quietly.

Kakashi merely nodded. Suddenly, he seemed to withdraw again. Like he remembered how raw all of this still was for him. That he hated sharing it.

"I understand, Senpai. I know that feeling...of having your world opened up by someone kind. Maybe I would have done the same as you, if things had turned out that way." Tenzou finished with a little smile. "You feel like you owe him?"

The way Kakashi was looking at Tenzou nearly made the mokuton user stand quickly and go to him. His eyes were wide, almost confused, like he hadn't expected anyone to understand how he felt. Maybe he hadn't made the connection between he and Obito and what he did for Tenzou. The younger shinobi had never seen his Senpai look so little, so exposed. He didn't know how to handle it.

"Y...yes. I do. I do owe him. I've made so many mistakes..." Kakashi whispered, his voice almost hoarse.

"Senpai...as long as you took what he gave you and did your best to improve, that's all that matters, right?" Tenzou offered quickly, starting to panic, not knowing how to calm his Senpai, who had always seemed so strong. "You don't have to feel guilty. You don't have to mimic him. You've changed, you must have, if you were able to-"

"No more." Kakashi cut in, his voice harsh. Tenzou snapped his mouth shut, terrified he'd gone too far.

"I'm sorry." he offered, wringing his hands in front of his chest. "It's just...wouldn't he have wanted you to be happy? Instead of guilty?"

Kakashi was immobile, his gaze aimed downward.

"I don't know much about friends. Or family, even. You're the first real friend I ever had. Maybe...I have it wrong." Tenzou rambled, gazing at Kakashi, hoping to make him better. "But, if he gave his life for you, it was because he wanted you to live, right? So...you should live. And be happy. Right?"

There was no reaction from Kakashi. It barely looked like he was breathing. He merely stared at the ground, trapped in his own misery. Tenzou was horrified. He felt like he'd ruined everything.

"I don't deserve it." came the almost inaudible murmur from the prone body. Tenzou perked up.

"What...?"

Finally, Kakashi raised his head. It almost looked like there were tears glimmering in his eyes. He looked so tortured Tenzou actually leaned back in his chair.

"I don't deserve it." Kakashi ground out, his eyes suddenly narrowing. Up he went, so fast the chair nearly fell over. Tenzou stood as well, his eyes wide.

"Senpai! What do you mean-"

But Kakashi was on his way out. He opened the door, turned and left before Tenzou could figure out what to do. The mokuton user raced after him, but Ami was there to greet him. She shook her head silently. Tenzou turned to the direction Kakashi had gone to, hoping to see him, but he had vanished.

The young shinobi's shoulders dropped. He felt horrible.

"I failed..." he murmured.

Ami placed a hand on his shoulder, her eyes sympathetic. "No, Tenzou. That was great. It's going to take a long time for Kakashi to be able to face his demons and accept himself. This was an excellent first session."

The deep sigh from Tenzou told her he hardly felt comforted. He had no idea Kakashi was hurting this badly. What did he mean, he didn't deserve it? Didn't deserve to be happy? How could he think that?

Tenzou began to wonder if their relationship would ever be the same.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next day Kakashi completely skipped their mission debrief. While he did have a tendency to do whatever he wanted, he'd never actually MISSED anything that pertained to his duties. As the captain, not only was it imperative he showed up, but he needed to actually have a hand guiding the briefing. No one on the team knew what to think.

"Honestly, what's taichou up to? Is this some kind of test? I wouldn't put it past him." One of his teammates grumbled. Everyone kind of shuffled around, unsure of what to say.

"If our captain couldn't be here, the reasons must have been valid. He's our leader; we should have faith in him, even if his methods tend to be unconventional." Tenzou proclaimed softly. "Let's wait and hear from him ourselves."

No one verbally responded, but Tenzou was right and they all knew it. Kakashi had never let them down before, and he was currently the best captain ANBU had. Someone brought up a mission detail and the topic was officially dropped. However, despite being the one to calm everyone, Tenzou felt like a ball of nerves. He was horribly worried about his Senpai and had no idea what to do about it. He didn't actually know where he lived, since the mokuton user rarely left the ANBU base and there was never a need to see his captain after hours.

Also. He didn't know if his presence would be...welcome. And that hurt the most.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The day before their mission, a messenger sent word that they would have a substitute leader in replacement of Kakashi. Everyone stared at each other in shock. It was absolutely unheard of.

"Taichou is practically a workaholic." one marvelled.

"Does he even get sick?"

"I thought he was immune to all poisons and the common cold..."

"I've been working with him since he was waist height; he doesn't skip a day."

Amid the flurry of confusion, Tenzou sat by himself, immersed in his thoughts. Kakashi wasn't acting like himself. Maybe he'd broken his Senpai. Maybe he'd pushed him too hard.

If only he could see him.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiruzen grinned to himself as his requested guest appeared behind him. He took a minute to smooth his features and place a pipe in his mouth. Then, he turned dramatically.

"Kakashi. How are you holding up?"

The jounin was kneeling before the Hokage, one fist on the ground, an arm draped over his knee.

"I'm fine."

"Excellent, because you've already missed one therapy session. I allowed it because it seemed you needed the time to yourself, but I expect you to be back at it again today."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Kakashi responded automatically. Hiruzen was not deterred.

"Unfortunately, Tenzou will be unable to attend. There is the issue of a mission to be completed, after all. I was able to find you a replacement, but Tenzou needs to be there with his team. The mission is..." Hiruzen paused to clear this throat. "Well, it isn't going to be easy. It's quite dangerous, actually. So the mokuton will be much needed."

That, as he'd expected, got Kakashi's attention. He perked up ever so slightly.

"I don't remember it being difficult..."

"Yes! Unfortunately, things change. There is a bit of an added element that will cause serious problems. I know you've dealt with these things before, so you understand. I'm certain your team will do you proud, Kakashi. Although..." he trailed off again, taking a puff of his pipe. "It is...so _very_ dangerous. I do hope everyone returns safely."

There was a moment of silence where Hiruzen pretended to be lost in thought and Kakashi silently panicked.

"Well!" the Hokage exclaimed. "I must be back to my work. Do enjoy the rest of your day, Kakashi, and please be sure to show up for therapy."

The jounin bowed low and disappeared so quickly he forgot his porcelain mask on the ground where he'd placed it beside him.

Hiruzen grinned to himself.

_It's just too easy sometimes._

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tenzou snapped the rest of his armour into place methodically. He was in one of the worst moods he could remember being in in recent memory. He was starting to worry that he wasn't going to be able to pay attention on the mission. The least he could do was not fuck up a routine assassination, but the thought that he'd single-handedly put their iron-willed captain out of commission was tormenting him endlessly.

"Yo."

Tenzou whirled around, sword raised. Kakashi merely stared at him with his usual unimpressed gaze as the glistening, freshly polished sword rested on his collar bone.

"Really, Tenzou. This is how you greet me?"

"Senpai..." Tenzou gasped, so surprised he didn't think to move his sword. "I...wasn't expecting to see you."

"Ah." Kakashi responded as he gently gripped the tip of his friends weapon and moved it off of his person. "You shouldn't let your guard down, especially before a mission. I'm disappointed. Should I leave my team with someone more capable?"

Their usual banter was so refreshing to the mokuton user that he blushed faintly and dropped his gaze. "No, Senpai."

Silence filled the room while Tenzou struggled with that to say. Finally, fists clenched, he raised his head and blurted out whatever came to him first.

"I'm sorry! Is it because of me that you can't do the mission?"

Kakashi felt like the biggest piece of garbage ever. It was bad enough he dragged Tenzou into the shit show that was his head, but now he had him taking responsibility for his immaturity. The copy-nin stepped forward and placed a firm hand on Tenzou's shoulder. He looked him dead in the eye, the younger shinobi's flush deepening when their gazes connected.

"No, Tenzou. It's because of me. I asked you to help me, remember that. None of this is on you. Ever."

The way Tenzou's mouth curled into a sweet smile and his wide eyes lit up made Kakashi's hand twitch on his friends shoulder. He had the scary urge to touch Tenzou's lips with his thumb. They just seemed like they'd be ridiculously soft. Like his hair. Probably his skin...

"Are you feeling better, Senpai?"

The question effectively snapped Kakashi back to reality and simultaneously made him feel guilty for thinking unpure thoughts of his definitely pure friend. "Yes. Don't worry about me, Tenzou. I want you to focus on the mission. I expect you and everyone else to come back without a scratch. You'll have more to worry about if you disobey those orders than how I'm feeling."

Tenzou absolutely beamed. "Yes, Senpai. Although, it _is_ a simple one day mission, so that shouldn't be hard to do."

Kakashi paused.

"Sorry?"

"Ah..." Tenzou looked rightly confused. "You don't remember? It's just an assassination of a petty thief. The only reason they're sending ANBU is because he stole from a feudal lord. We're only expected to be away for around six hours."

Kakashi glared at the wall behind Tenzou's head.

_Hiruzen. You dog..._

"Senpai...?"

Kakashi glanced back down at his kouhai, who looked like he had no idea what to think about his captain anymore. Kakashi resumed his casual happy face, his eyes forming their typical 'n' shape.

"Right, I remember now. Must be all the commotion that got things mixed up in my head. Good luck regardless, Tenzou. Let me know how it goes."

Tenzou brightened again almost instantly. The two said their goodbyes and Tenzou left the locker room to meet up with their team. Kakashi remained alone for a minute, trying to organize his thoughts. During his brief, lone episode of self pity, he had thought long and hard about his and Tenzou's discussion at therapy. Kakashi had never given what he did for his kouhai much thought, but he supposed it _was_ very similar to what Obito did for him. Maybe...he could make up for all of his failures by helping at least one person. If he could just watch out for Tenzou, then maybe...

Although.

He did JUST send him on a mission BY HIMSELF. Sans Kakashi.

So.

Way to go.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


	5. Chapter 5

As was expected from team Ro, they all returned safe and sound. Tenzou sought out Kakashi immediately upon his arrival. Once discovering him, Tenzou excitedly skipped up to his captain, throwing his arms out wide and baring himself for inspection.

"Not a scratch!"

Kakashi assumed a very sceptical demeanour as he slowly walked a circle around Tenzou. He rubbed his chin, clucking his tongue. "You look a little too roughed up to not have a scratch."

As anticipated Tenzou quickly glanced down at himself. "Really? Well...we did have to travel pretty far."

With a loud sigh, Kakashi placed his hands on his hips. "Honestly. I'm gone one mission and you can't even look out for yourself."

Tenzou appeared royally confused as to how to respond. Despite his best efforts, Kakashi still had a ways to go with teaching Tenzou how to interpret dry humour and sarcasm. Especially his humour. Which...well, most people seemed to have issues deciphering. But that was their problem.

"But Senpai, the mission was a success. It was completed it in half the anticipated time."

"Well, that's because you have a _team_, Tenzou. You aren't taking that glory for yourself, are you?"

Kakashi could have sworn he saw smoke billowing out of Tenzou's ears. The look on his face illustrated quite clearly the desperate struggle of his brain to comprehend the situation.

"N-no..."

"Good. Because no one looks a glory hog. That being said, you and I are due for therapy in an hour. You best clean up." he chided, placing his hands on Tenzou's back and gently pushing him forward. "Off you go."

As Kakashi watched his little kouhai scamper off in absolute confusion, he took a moment to reflect on himself. A normal person would have expressed how happy he was to see Tenzou safe. They would have asked him how the mission was, nodded as he spoke, and been rightfully impressed at the good bits. But oh no, not him. Not Kakashi. He had to go right into 'Jerkoff' mode and just tease the poor kid into a stupor. A very big part of him hoped they would address this little issue at therapy.

Because...if he was honest with himself, he wanted to know what it was like to have a real moment with someone. To have a real conversation. He really, really wanted to smile at Tenzou and tell him he was glad. But instead, nonsense came out. It was always just nonsense.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The two ANBU comrades sat down across from each other, the nervous tension present in their first session still palpable. Despite Kakashi reassuring Tenzou that he was never to blame for whatever happened in therapy, he was terrified he would push his Senpai too hard again. Ami had spoken to him alone before Kakashi arrived and reminded him of how well their first conversation had went and to basically do exactly what he did the first time.

"Kakashi trusts you, Tenzou. You have NO IDEA what it took for me to get a FRACTION of that information out of him. Not only that, but you two seem to share a lot of similar experiences. I think it helps you understand him and in turn, makes him want to trust you with his feelings. Just keep acting natural."

Tenzou took a long, deep breath and exhaled as inconspicuously as he could. His captain was staring at his sandals, obviously just as nervous as he was. Well, probably FAR more nervous. This was all aimed at him, after all.

Finally, the little ANBU felt comfortable enough to speak. "Senpai. There's...well, something I want to talk to you about. But I'm afraid you're not ready."

Kakashi's eyes softened considerably at his friends concern. "Don't worry about me, Tenzou. Nothing you ask will really be easy."

It was true, and it made Tenzou sheepishly scratch his head and scoot a little farther away in his chair. "Right. Of course. It's just...you mentioned last time that you didn't think you deserved to be happy. Why is that?"

Perhaps it was the fact that Tenzou seemed to be genuinely confused as to why Kakashi felt the way he did instead of embarrassingly concerned that made the copy-nin feel the tug to answer him. Kakashi was proud, so pity was not an emotion he responded well to. But Tenzou never pitied him. He just wanted to understand, and to help.

"I..." Kakashi started, but his throat closed up on him almost as quick as he'd spoken. He felt it again; that horrible coldness. It swept a frigid path along his lower back and threatened to climb higher. He fought to control it.

"I just..." He started, but was unable to continue and shook his head in frustration. He sighed. He closed his eyes and went quite for a long time. Tenzou could tell his Senpai was really trying to answer, so he waited patiently.

"He left me with a task. It started with just one person, but...it really meant much more. For more people. I haven't upheld my end of the deal."

It seemed like that small answer took the world out of Kakashi. He almost physically deflated, his gaze falling to the ground again. He leaned to the side in his chair, his hand going to his forehead. It reminded Tenzou of how he felt if he tried to talk about Root. Like Kakashi had some kind of seal that kept him from expressing himself.

"Okay, Senpai." Tenzou responded quietly. He gave Kakashi another few moments to collect himself before he continued. "What did he ask you to do? Was it a dying wish?"

Kakashi nearly stood up and ran. He had a thousand thoughts buzzing around his head, all of which were making it impossible for him to answer. He just felt so damn _guilty_. His life was a joke. He lived for nothing and no one. Obito had given everything up for_ that_.

"Senpai..."

Kakashi opened his eyes slowly. Tenzou was sitting before him, his features betraying his concern. Kakashi could see the tension in his body language; Tenzou only ever folded his hands in his lap when he was uncomfortable. The copy-nin needed to do his best right now, but every single cell in his body screamed for him to just give up. What was the point? He was worthless anyway. What was he going to do, talk away everything he'd ever done wrong? What could that possibly do?

"Senpai. Did you hear my question?"

"Yes." Kakashi answered, his voice barely a whisper.

It was slowly dawning on Tenzou that he needed to be firm. So, firm he would try.

"Please answer it."

A deep, raspy inhale. "He asked me to protect our friend. Someone he loved."

Tenzou felt his heart clench painfully. "You weren't able to?"

"I failed." Kakashi hissed. He glanced up at Tenzou, his eyes hard. "I should have been able to. I was the strongest in our class. A jounin. What good was that? What does any of it matter if you can't protect your friends?"

Tenzou felt a deep heaviness in his chest. Oh, how he could sympathize with his captain. How he understood his pain. He'd spent what felt like a lifetime watching the people around him die, unable to do anything, waiting for his turn.

"You have to understand, Senpai. Some things are out of your control. Sometimes all you can do is watch." he answered softly, locking eyes fearlessly with his troubled captain. "No matter how much you want to help...everyone is helpless at some point." 

Kakashi's eyes were wide, even a little wild. They stared at each other, both of their gazes refusing to falter. Tenzou spoke from experience; no one could deny that from his tone, his own sadness. Especially Kakashi, who knew his story. He knew how alone he'd been, how helpless. Years of helplessness.

"If your friend truly cared, he would understand. Our world is cruel. It seems like some people have bad luck in the beginning. But...it's how they choose to live the rest of their lives that matters. You chose to try and help people, and you succeeded. You gave me the chance to finally live."

Tenzou smiled at Kakashi so genuinely, with such untainted respect and affection, that Kakashi felt his throat close completely and his chest tighten to the point of physical pain.

"You're lucky, Senpai. Everyone knows you and respects you. You're very talented. You've chosen to dedicate your talent to others, instead of living for yourself. You...say you don't deserve to be happy, but I think its the opposite. You almost...owe it to your lot in life to _be_ happy. Even if it was hard in the beginning, you can still make it right."

Silence settled in the room. Tenzou glanced away, wanting to give Kakashi time to himself. He was sort of embarrassed for rambling on so long. But it was just that...he could understand Kakashi and how he was thinking. He wanted his Senpai to see. He wanted him to live the best kind of life he could live.

When Kakashi didn't speak for a good three minutes, Tenzou decided he should try to speak to him. He wasn't sure where else to take the conversation if Kakashi didn't give him some kind of cue.

"Are you alright, Kakashi-senpai?"

A quick snort was heard from the prone body. Kakashi lifted his head, lolling it slightly to the side. "Just great."

"Ah..." Tenzou lost a bit of his nerve with the attitude emanating from his Senpai's body. To say the mokuton user had never really 'helped' anyone in his life was an understatement. He didn't know what the signs were that he was doing good job.

"Senpai...you're, ah...quite closed off all the time, right?" Tenzou ventured blindly. "Maybe you could start with opening up. There are quite a few people in ANBU who idolize you, maybe you could try being friends with them."

Kakashi stared at him blankly. "How?"

Oh. A response that wasn't completely negative.

"Uh...well...when they try to talk to you, instead of walking away, just talk back."

"Hey." Kakashi pouted. "I don't just walk away..."

Now it was Tenzou's turn to look indignant. "Yes. Yes you do, Senpai. There is this ANBU girl who also calls you Senpai, and whenever she does you just harshly tell her 'I'm not your Senpai' and walk away."

With a loud sigh, Kakashi rubbed out a kink in his neck. "That's...well, really, I shouldn't be anyone's role model. I'm just helping her out."

"Maybe let them decide that for themselves, Senpai." Tenzou responded gently.

Kakashi stared at him in mild surprise. Tenzou smiled.

"ANBU are smart. They can make good decisions if they need to. For you to be so well thought of, everyone can't be wrong, can they?"

It took Kakashi another moment of looking surprised at Tenzou's sharpness before he literally shrugged it off. With a tiny little huff, he crossed his arms over his chest.

"They don't know me at all. They only know what they see."

"What's wrong with that...?" Tenzou asked with genuine curiosity.

Kakashi balked. "...Well...they...don't have a proper basis for their assessment of me."

A little blink from Tenzou.

"...What should they use then?"

It was so clear that Tenzou could not follow Kakashi's reasoning in the slightest that the copy-nin's cheeks tinged pink slightly in embarrassment.

"Well. Other things besides my performance as an ANBU."

"But, you don't tell them about yourself. So how could they?"

Kakashi struggled to try and turn the conversation around. "If I told them about me, they would significantly lessen their opinions. I was already judged as 'friend-killer' before."

A little frown from Tenzou before he answered. "From my own experience, that came from the confusion of knowing too little about you, Senpai. The reason your nick-name came about was because people didn't understand what really happened. If you talked to people more, they would."

It looked like a small gasket had just blown in Kakashi's head from the slightly frazzled look on his face. With a scoff, he stood straight again, waving off his own confusion. "It doesn't matter, Tenzou. Friendship isn't necessary to do my job."

Kakashi regretted what he said almost instantly when he saw the look that came upon his little friends face.

"No, Kakashi-senpai. But it may be necessary for you to be happy. And that is the point of these therapy sessions, right? To find out why you have been acting so cold. Maybe you need some people to warm you up."

A little, barely audible, strangled sound found its way out of Kakashi's throat. He seemed to be cornered, and obviously did not enjoy it. He pulled his legs up, hugged them to his chest, and put his head down.

"I'm done."

Tenzou's eyes widened in slight terror. Oh God, he'd broken his Senpai.

"Kakashi-senpai..." he tried, standing and taking a step towards him. Kakashi did nothing. Tenzou was afraid to approach further, but maybe he needed to. He took another small step and watched as Kakashi actually closed up more, hugging his legs closer to himself.

Tenzou stopped. He bit his lip. Had he said too much?

A little cough from behind him got his attention. Tenzou glanced to the doorway to see Ami gesture for him to come to her. He turned, with a glance back at his prone Senpai, who was completely consumed in his own turmoil again. Tenzou frowned, hoping he hadn't been too forceful with him, and quietly padded over to the ANBU therapist.

Ami leaned in close so they wouldn't be overheard.

"Very well done, Tenzou. I can tell you have also been through a lot, haven't you?"

He blushed and nodded.

"You're just the kind of friend he needs, and don't you forget it. He might need a while to himself after this, but know that you did a great job."

With a bright smile and a firm handshake, Ami sent Tenzou on his way. She didn't hurry him when he stopped to check on his Senpai once again, who was sitting in the exact same position he had been when he left.

Tenzou was starting to doubt this therapy business was going to help Kakashi. Even if they talked about it, he needed to believe it. He needed to believe he was good, that he'd done good, and that he could do more good. That the death of his friend was not his fault. No one could do that but Kakashi.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Tenzou had expected, a couple of days went by with no sign of Kakashi. His Senpai had appeared to their teammates to cool their increasing worry of him and confusion with the situation, but Tenzou did not have the pleasure of his company. He understood, however. Tenzou had been privy to information Kakashi had kept to himself for years. His Senpai probably felt exposed, maybe even embarrassed. Tenzou resigned himself to leave his friend to his own devices, to go at his own speed.

The one thing that did worry Tenzou about the entire process was that the farther Kakashi went 'down the rabbit hole', the more dedicated he had to become to coming out the other side. Tenzou was concerned as to how Kakashi would be affected by his therapy, if he would get worse before he got better. Because if he got worse...he _had_ to get better.

After some light training with his teammates Tenzou headed to his little ANBU apartment. He had chosen to take up residence at the base as he still wasn't ready to really 'join the village'. He knew no one in Konoha other than his ANBU teammates, who had lives of their own and were quite a bit older than him. The only one he could ever see himself interacting with was Kakashi, but his captain showed no signs of interacting with anyone outside of ANBU anyway. As far as Tenzou knew, he was the only person in team Ro who lived at the ANBU base, but it hadn't bothered him yet. Even Kakashi had his own apartment away from headquarters.

He turned the last corner that lead to his humble abode and fished inside of his uniform pants for his keys.

Something at the corner of his eye made him grind to a halt, his head shooting up.

To his utter astonishment, Kakashi was leaning against his door, apparently consumed by a book he was reading. Tenzou slowly continued his path to his place, staring at Kakashi in surprise. His captain had never even been to his apartment on a regular day, let alone appearing spontaneously when he was in such a sensitive state.

"Senpai..." Tenzou greeted softly, a smile on his face. "What can I do for you?"

Kakashi closed his book, stuffed it into his back pouch, then casually glanced up at Tenzou. "Can't a captain see how his underling is doing?"

"Of course, Senpai. I'm glad to see you." Tenzou responded easily, taking out his keys. "Would you, ah...like to come in?"

Kakashi shrugged in response. Tenzou wasn't sure if that was a yes or not, so he simply unlocked his door and opened it, stepping inside and keeping it open for his friend. Kakashi slowly took a step in, hands stuffed into his pockets. Tenzou closed the door after him.

He was suddenly irrationally nervous.

Tenzou had never had anyone in his space before, let alone the person he respected the most in the world. He found himself having strange thoughts like what Kakashi thought of his place, what he thought of him living so far from everyone else in the village. What he wanted to do now.

"Ah...can I...get you a drink? Maybe tea?" Tenzou stammered, blushing at his awkwardness. Kakashi smiled down at him pleasantly.

"Sure."

Tenzou flew to the kitchen, desperate for something to do. The thought of entertaining someone in his house had never occurred to him.

Kakashi leaned against the kitchen doorway, watching Tenzou with a deep sadness weighing on his chest. His little kouhai buzzed around his sparse kitchen. When he opened his cupboard, he only had two cups in it. Two plates. Two bowls. The extra of everything was probably just backup in case one broke.

Tenzou had no one, just like Kakashi.

The copy-nin spun on his heel and took in the rest of his friends apartment. It was even more barren than his. Not a single picture, no decorations. He had a bed, a desk, a bookshelf and a closet. Kakashi at least had his picture of his old team, some momentous from his father. A bedspread that wasn't grey. A plant or two. He even had some civilian clothing from when he was younger. He hadn't worn them in years, but at least he had them. He would bet every dime in his bank account that the only clothes in Tenzou's closet were ANBU issued.

Kakashi heard something behind him and turned his attention back to Tenzou. His friend walked up to him and held a steaming cup of tea out for him to take, a large, nervous smile on his face.

"Here you go."

The ache in Kakashi's gut intensified.

He was alone, but with a smile on his face. Tenzou had just as much reason as Kakashi to be cold and closed off, but he wasn't.

Gently, slowly, Kakashi took his cup. The smile he sent back to Tenzou was genuine but sad. He couldn't mask how he felt this time. "Thank you."

Tenzou looked concerned but voiced none of it. He wrung his hangs together nervously, his eyes darting around his small apartment. "Ahhh...would you...like to sit?" he offered, pointing to the only object that was sitable -his bed.

Kakashi didn't respond, merely turned and helped himself. He sat gracefully, the bed barely sinking under his weight. Damn ANBU and their hard beds.

Tenzou meekly took a seat beside him, his hands resting between his legs. He looked like he wasn't sure what to say. Kakashi could have helped him out and made conversation, but Tenzou was far too adorable right now for him to ruin it.

"So..." Tenzou began, turning to his captain. "How have you bee-Ah!"

The mokuton user froze, a blush bursting over his cheeks.

Kakashi was casually sipping his tea, his mask down around his neck, as if he took it off all the time. Blinking, he turned to Tenzou. "What is it?"

"Uhhhhh...you..." he pointed to his own face, unsure of what to say.

Kakashi feigned ignorance. "Oh? My mask? Well, I can't drink with it on."

The blush on Tenzou's face intensified. "You...don't care if I see your face?"

With a shrug, Kakashi took a sip of his tea. "It's not really a big deal."

"Oh." Tenzou responded, looking no less confused or flustered. "Then, why do you wear it?"

Kakashi blew on his tea. "I look more mysterious this way."

"...Uh..."

"Enough about me." Kakashi cut in firmly. He placed his cup on the ground at his feet and turned to face his friend. "I'm done talking about myself."

Tenzou tried his hardest not to get distracted by how attractive Kakashi was, but the combination of seeing his face and having him in his apartment was making him increasingly skittish. "Of course, I understand. What...ah...do you wanna talk about?"

"You." Kakashi breathed, his gaze penetrating.

It was all Tenzou could do not to gulp. "...Me?"

"Yes. Are you happy?"

The answer came easily to Tenzou. He smiled sweetly. "I'm the happiest I've ever been."

Kakashi shook his head, his gaze never leaving his friends. "That wasn't a yes or a no. Are you happy?"

"Oh. Uh..." Now Tenzou took a second to think about it. "Well. I have a team, which I like. I have freedom, although...maybe not as much as the villagers. But, it's more than I've ever known. I have all my lovely books to read, and I really like Hiruzen-sama, and you, Kakashi-Senpai. Yes, I'm happy." he concluded, looking satisfied. "There isn't really anything else I know that's better."

Kakashi's eyes seemed to become heavy. He gazed at Tenzou with an intensity that the mokuton user didn't understand.

"But there is so much more, Tenzou." Kakashi began. "There's a whole other world in Konoha. You could join a regular team, have a real home to come to, have friends you can be with outside of missions."

Tenzou glanced down, the conversation going into territory he was uncomfortable with. "I know. I...have an idea of what it's like. But I don't belong out there."

"You belong in here?" Kakashi asked, gesturing in a small circle. "In this empty apartment?"

Tenzou kind of half shrugged, but the way he clasped his hands together betrayed his nervousness. "I belong in ANBU. It's what I'm good at."

The bed sagged slightly as Kakashi shifted closer to Tenzou. "You've never thought about anything more?"

Tenzou shook his head, his gaze averted to the mattress.

A loud, unexpected sigh from Kakashi had Tenzou looking back at his Senpai again. Kakashi had pulled his knees up to his chest much in the same way as he'd done in their last therapy session. He rests his arms on his knees and gently placed his chin on them. He looked ahead, into some unknown abyss.

"I have. I've been thinking about more a lot lately. I want to see what more is like. These last few days I've seen what it could be like, and I'm tired of making excuses."

Tenzou's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe it. Had their sessions actually helped his Senpai? He felt his heart suddenly inflate to twice its size. The idea of Kakashi improving, even a little, made him so happy he nearly teared up.

"That's great, Senpai!" Tenzou whispered with obvious excitement. "I think more is good for you."

Kakashi slowly turned his head. There was something in his eyes that Tenzou could not decipher, but it made a little shiver creep its way down his spine.

"I think so, too. But I don't want it, at the same time. I want anything other than that."

It was a little bit of a risk, as he didn't know how Kakashi would respond, but Tenzou was compelled to move closer to him. With two little wiggles, he scooted closer to his Senpai on the bed. He almost burst into flames when he realized how close that put the two of them, but it was too late now.

"Don't be afraid. You're brave, Kakashi-Senpai. When something needs to be done, you do it, right? You never make excuses. Do that for yourself, too."

Kakashi merely watched Tenzou for a moment. "It's like your my personal cheer squad."

Tenzou's entire face ignited brighter than the setting sun. He whipped his head around, far too embarrassed to look at his friend any longer. "W-well..." he stammered, but realized he had absolutely nothing to say for himself that wouldn't make him more embarrassed.

Kakashi gently placed a finger under Tenzou's chin and tilted his head up. Obediently Tenzou's eyes followed suit. The two ninja looked at each other, Kakashi's gaze smouldering, Tenzou's mesmerized.

"I didn't mean that in a negative way."

The mokuton user found he could not hold eye contact with Kakashi when he was the way he was, so he quickly glanced down again. "Okay..."

Kakashi was not deterred by Tenzou's bashfulness in the slightest. "Why do you have so much faith in me?"

The question was worded with such soft, genuine curiosity and confusion that Tenzou forgot how embarrassed he was with himself and looked up. Kakashi's eyes were positively glowing, as if he'd wondered what he'd asked for a long time and just had the resolve to ask it now.

"Why shouldn't I? I've seen what you can do." he responded plainly, uncertain as to whether this was the kind of answer his mysterious captain was looking for. "You seem to think...you're a bad person. How can a bad person be selfless enough to risk their lives to help me? It doesn't make sense, Senpai."

Kakashi remained silent, but there were waves of intense energy flowing from his body. It felt like they were ripping the words from Tenzou, as if he was being hypnotized.

"I mean...I remember, waking up in that cold room strapped to a chair...and then you were there. I thought I was going to be turned into a mindless puppet. I would have been. We were confronted by dozens of ninja and you didn't abandon me. I don't understand how it gets better than that."

Out of the corner of his eye, Tenzou could see Kakashi's chest heaving as if he was breathing very quickly and deeply. His words seemed to be affecting his captain, but his expression hadn't changed. The only indication that he could hear what Tenzou was saying was the dilation of his pupils and the slight flare of his nostrils.

"I really..." Kakashi began, his breath short. "...made a difference with you. Didn't I?"

"Yes. You saved me." was Tenzou's tiny reply.

"Do you like me as a person, Tenzou?" the copy-nin asked, no pity or desperation in his voice, just a kind of thick curiosity. "Or...do you just respect me for what I did?"

"I respect you more than anyone, Kakashi-Senpai." Tenzou breathed. His embarrassed blush intensified as he realized he needed to answer the rest of the posed question. "I...like _you_, yes. You're really...hard to understand, but, as long as I don't take your aloofness personally, it's alright. I uh...I wish you wouldn't...uh...tease me so much..." he stuttered, his gaze flickering down again.

Kakashi laughed lightly and Tenzou couldn't help but glance back up at him. His smile was one of the most pleasant things Tenzou had ever seen. He found himself completely mesmerized by the mirth in his captains eyes, highlighted throughout all of his features, visible to him for the first time.

"I don't think that's going to happen. It's too much fun."

Tenzou was far too lost in the moment to feel even slightly indignant that his captain outright refused to make his life easier. Instead, he found a question tugging at his own lips. He would normally never, _ever _consider asking, but Kakashi was being so open with him...

"Do...you like _me_, Senpai?"

All mirth instantly evaporated from Kakashi's face. For one fleeting second, Tenzou was horrified Kakashi was going to say something devastating. However, his worries were put to rest as soon as they arose, as the look in Kakashi's eyes could only be described as predatory. It was what Tenzou imagined an animal looked like when it had prey in its sights.

"Close your eyes." Kakashi breathed gently, far more gently than his gaze conveyed he was feeling.

At first Tenzou hesitated. He didn't understand what was going on, but it was like someone had grabbed his arms and forcibly held him in place. Every muscle and nerve in his body was on fire yet he was rooted to the spot. He took a deep breath and did as he was told. Something in his stomach twisted in a way that made his throat constrict.

Slowly, Kakashi ran his hands through Tenzou's long, silky hair. He dragged his nails along his scalp and felt Tenzou shiver, yet dutifully keep his eyes closed. Clenching his fist, he gripped Tenzou's hair, pulling back slowly to tilt his kouhai's head up. The way Tenzou arched his back ever so slightly told the copy-nin he consented. Kakashi dipped his head, closed his own eyes and placed a firm, but chaste kiss to Tenzou's soft lips.

A sharp inhale of breath and Tenzou responded instinctively. It was like someone lit a fire in his stomach that raced up his spine. Nothing that he'd ever felt compared to this. There was electricity in his veins, his heart was beating a mile a minute. His Senpai was kissing him, the one person in the world he could ever imagine wanting.

Their lips stayed locked together, magnetized, until finally Kakashi pulled away with a light, airy sigh. He could never have imagined something so sweet. He felt like he could devour Tenzou in a second. He itched to embrace him.

Tenzou's eyes fluttered open. At some point, he had gripped the front of Kakashi's top, bunching the fabric in his fists. Kakashi smiled at him and he, still in a daze, sheepishly smiled back.

"You're ok?" Kakashi asked gently.

Tenzou nodded. He seemed embarrassed now, but the smile on his face betrayed his excitement. Kakashi curled an arm around Tenzou's shoulders and pulled him to his chest. He heard the smallest, fainest squeak come from his friend, but no resistance. Slowly, he laid down on the bed, bringing Tenzou with him. In response, Tenzou slowly, tentatively curled against the side of Kakashi's body, laying his head on his arm. He'd never felt so warm in his life. He could feel the strength of Kakashi's body next to his. It radiated a soothing energy, yet was hard and resisting at the same time. The body of someone who could trace the shadows and take you out before you could blink.

"Tenzou."

The younger shinobi glanced up and found his lips captured again. He closed his eyes, basking in his Senpai. He had no idea anything like this could exist.

When they finally broke apart, Tenzou seemed to remember something.

"Is that a yes?"

Kakashi's response was to smile in amusement and gently tussle Tenzou's hair.

"Yes." 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

D'AWWWWWWW. I wuv them. CAN'T YOU JUST SEE IT HAPPENING? I swear I've never loved fillers so much ever.


	6. Chapter 6

Tenzou felt himself ripped from his strangely lighthearted dream by a light ray of sunshine landing on his eyes. With a little sniff, he opened his eyes, moving to rest his arm over his face to block the offensive sun from stealing his sleep.

Except that he couldn't move his arm.

Tenzou whipped his head around as he panicked for the half a second it took for him to recognize the form beside him. He felt his heart catch in his throat as the memories of the night before flooded back to him as if he'd never fallen asleep.

"You sure are uppity in the morning." Kakashi murmured without bothering to open his eyes.

The young shinobi had no idea how to answer his Senpai. He found himself in shock that it all hadn't been some kind of wonderful dream. Looking back, it seemed impossible. He'd had his first kiss, something he'd never even considered, with the person who had come to mean the...well. Only thing anyone had ever meant to him. He'd never really had anyone except for Danzou, but all members of Root knew there were no real relationships in the organization.

He found himself blinking furiously as a finger approached his face so close his eyes crossed to follow it. Kakashi lightly poked Tenzou in the nose, holding his finger there as he gazed at his kouhai with his usual careless, half-lidded glance.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost." 

Tenzou flushed a brilliant neon red. "Ah...sorry. I just. It's just a little surprising."

The copy-nin's expression held its place as he gazed at his friend for a few seconds of silence.

"You mean waking up beside me?"

The raging red flush decorating Tenzou's tender cheeks deepened. "Ah...yes."

"Well, we still have our clothes on."

Tenzou made some kind of gurgling sound in the back of his throat. "I-I-I-I know that! I'm not...I mean, I know it isn't anything that dramatic, but you're usually so removed from everyone so it's taking me a second to-"

Kakashi took the liberty of silencing Tenzou by hooking an arm around his neck and jerking him down to the mattress. He made a point of covering Tenzou's mouth with his forearm, levelling him with a piercing, but un-intimidating stare. "Remember, little Tenzou, you brought this on yourself. I didn't ask you to open my world with your psychiatric voodoo."

Tenzou glared in annoyance and the muffled sounds of "_Yes_ you did!" vibrated against Kakashi's silencing limb.

Kakashi leaned in, his expression softening, his voice a whisper. "Are you okay with me being here?"

The flush returned full force. Kakashi lowered his arm enough for Tenzou's lips to sneak over them. "Yes."

When Kakashi continued to pull the two of them closer Tenzou found himself unconsciously slipping his face below Kakashi's arm again.

"Could I come back tonight then?"

Tenzou's wide, captivated eyes answered Kakashi's question. The younger ninja slowly pulled Kakashi's arm down, as if it was his barrier against the things that made him embarrassed, excited and uncomfortable and he'd gathered the courage to lower it. "I'd like that."

For one magical moment, a gentle smile spread over Kakashi's face. Tenzou found every thought buzzing around his head blown clear away and forgotten forever. Without a word Kakashi released Tenzou and stood. He stretched his arms over his head and yawned loudly. Kakashi jumped off the bed, landing lighter than air just beside it, and sent a tired glance over his shoulder to his companion. "Don't forget to show up to therapy today. It's a strict order that I am not to be left alone with Ami ever again."

Tenzou shook his head. "She's actually a very nice person, Senpai."

Kakashi pouted, the expression emphasized by the visibility of his entire face. It made him startlingly more attractive. "You're taking her side..."

It seemed like Tenzou had a cross between real confusion and affectionate annoyance dancing in his eyes. "Of course. She's trying to help you."

As was his custom Kakashi waved Tenzou's comment off as if it was a bit of bad wind. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, turned on his heel and walked to Tenzou's door.

"See you later."

Tenzou watched his Senpai leave with so many emotions back flipping around his noggin he hardly had any idea of where he should start sorting them out. He was stunned that their sessions together had reached Kakashi to the point where he would open himself up as much as he had the night before, and even that morning. Not to mention the fact that Kakashi was...

...Attracted to him? Even as he said it to himself in his head, it sounded impossible. Not that Tenzou had the slightest clue about his or anyone elses sexuality, but Kakashi had always seemed like a person to be admired, barely understood and hardly reached. Yet...he knew what it felt like to sleep beside him. It was the warmest and safest he'd ever felt.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Tenzou approached Ami's office he realized he was more nervous for this session than ever before. He had no idea how to act around Kakashi now that they were...uh. More than friends? Special friends? Deeply acquainted? The confused little ninja didn't know. Despite the fact that he'd barely ever had a friend, he had the general idea of what a boyfriend was. He just didn't understand if that's what Kakashi was (eventually?) getting at.

Luckily for him, the bubbly therapist was there to greet him at the door.

"Tenzou! Great to see you. Are you ready for today?"

_Not really_. Was Tenzou's initial thought.

"Of course, Ami-san. Is there anything special you'd like me to do?"

The way Ami's face lit up made Tenzou want to throw up a little.

"Actually, now that you ask...I was thinking maybe we could push the envelope a little more than usual, you know? Kakashi has had progress, but he's still holding back quite a bit in his sessions. We left off last time with how he's decided to kind of...personify himself by embodying someone else. I want to see if we can get him to tell us why he refuses to let himself have friends. I understand why, but we need him to admit it. I want you to do whatever you think is necessary."

Tenzou wrung his hands in nervousness. "Okay. I think...that makes sense."

Ami lifted a delicate eyebrow and gazed down at Tenzou in mild suspicion. She noticed he was a lot more nervous than usual; as if he was hiding something.

When were these children going to learn that she could see through all of them like freshly polished glass?

"Unless you think there's reason why I should change the direction of this session?"

The tone of Ami's voice told Tenzou she pretty much knew he had reason to think something, at least. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he should probably tell her what happened. Not...all of it, of course, but if Ami was supposed to help Kakashi she needed to know every detail possible.

"Ah...he...opened up to me a little last night. On his own, you know? It seems like he wants to try to at least have me as a friend he can talk to. I think it shows good progress."

Ami squealed so loudly that Tenzou actually jumped a good inch. She snatched up his hands and held them tightly in her own, her eyes positively shimmering.

"THAT'S AMAZING! Of course it shows good progress! Wow, wonderful! Having you on board is really making a difference, Tenzou! You know what? Go in there and just play it by ear the way we've done the last two times. I'm just so proud of both of you."

Tenzou couldn't help but absorb some of her positive energy. He absolutely beamed right back. "Okay! I'll do my best."

They shared a radiant smile.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi was slouching in his chair, one arm thrown over the back of it, waiting for Tenzou to enter. When he did, he had the slap-happiest little ear to ear grin that made Kakashi slightly suspicious as to how their session was going to go. When the little mokuton user took his seat, Kakashi leaned forward and cleared his throat.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, Senpai." Tenzou replied cheerfully. "But we should probably get started now, right?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. "I suppose so."

Taking the hint like a good little trooper, Tenzou wiped the smile off of his face and attempted to get serious. He fidgeted slightly in his chair, not really knowing where to start.

"Ah. So...Senpai." he began, wringing his hands slightly in his renewed nervousness. "I...want to talk about the...ah...attributes you adopted from your old friend." and before he knew it, Tenzou was heading down the path Ami wanted him to. He realized it as he spoke, but if he was honest with himself, it seemed like the natural way to go. "I know you did it because you think his way of living was better than yours. You know, maybe it was...maybe it helped you in some way. But, now, after all this time, have you ever tried to really discover who_ you_ are without him?"

Kakashi stared in shock, almost as if he hadn't been expecting Tenzou to take their therapy session _that_ seriously. Shock slowly morphed into tension, fear and discomfort. It was obviously not an easy topic for Kakashi.

"What do you mean? What you see _is_ who I am."

A sort of chilling terror was starting to creep its way up Tenzou's spine. He suddenly became paranoid that he would upset Kakashi and ruin whatever it was that they had started. Maybe he'd make him angry and he wouldn't want to come by his apartment anymore. But, what kind of friend would he be if he cheated Kakashi for selfish reasons? He swallowed his insecurities and pushed forward.

"But, you mentioned how you do certain things only because he did. Like being late, and not taking the rules seriously. Things like that. How many of those do you have, that maybe you're just doing for the sake of emulating him? But maybe, they aren't really you?"

Kakashi quickly looked away. There was the usual tense silence for a long time. But...there was something different about it. It seemed like Kakashi was actually taking the time to think about what Tenzou was saying. To really dig deep and see.

He dropped his head suddenly. "I don't know."

Tenzou licked his lips. "I...well, I maybe have a few...things I've noticed." he began, his light voice slightly shaky. "I think that your aversion to being close to people is not you. I don't think you're really that cold. I ah..." he flushed, ducking his head. "I think you're actually really warm."

His embarrassment quadrupled when he realized Ami was listening to everything he was saying, and quite possibly, Hiruzen would listen to it at some point too. But it was too late to turn back now.

"I think...your sense of humour is you, but the...level you take it to isn't. You seem to use it as a buffer. Whenever you want something in between you and a person or a situation, you insert it there. And I think the way you're always in the past, and never looking forward, isn't you. You're such a good strategist, it doesn't make sense. And you're logical, you know? Living in the past, something that's over and will never be repeated, isn't logical. It isn't you."

The look Kakashi was giving him simply arrested any other thoughts he could have put into words. It was this...digging, aching, surprised, and...something else. This amalgamation of emotions that seemed to shift like smoke. As if, part of Kakashi didn't want to hear it, part of him was surprised someone else had noticed, part of him disagreed, and part of him admired and wanted Tenzou because he'd seen it.

It passed between them with seconds that seemed to drift into eternity.

"If so much of what I do isn't me, then you've never known me." Kakashi finally answered, his voice husky. "How do you know what is 'fake' and what is real?"

"Because whatever is fake puts a wall between you and everyone else." Tenzou answered confidently.

Kakashi sat back in his chair. The look in his eyes hadn't faded.

Once again, they were trapped in each other.

"If you take that wall away." Kakashi began slowly, his voice thick with something, his eyes never drifting from Tenzou's. "What does that leave?"

Tenzou took a deep, shaky breath, not realizing he'd done it till his lungs were full of air. "It...just leaves...bravery, loyalty, justice...and...a broken heart, I guess..." he answered softly, unsure of how his answer would be received.

For the first time, Kakashi was absolutely speechless. It was impossible to guess what was going on inside his head, but that look, that fierce yet muted look, had not left Tenzou during their entire confrontation. It told the young mokuton user that Kakashi saw some truth in what he said. He saw something he recognized.

The door to the room opened. Tenzou slowly, slowly broke his gaze from Kakashi and turned to Ami. She gestured for him to come to her, so he did. He didn't look back, because he felt there was nothing else he could say. He didn't know where else to go with the conversation.

Or...he didn't know where to go with it that was available for public enjoyment.

When he reached the hallway Ami merely placed a gentle and on his shoulder, smiled, and told him he'd done well and could go. He didn't want to know her reasoning behind it, so he merely did as he was told and left.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tenzou returned to his apartment, not really in the mood to indulge in any of the usual ANBU activities. He'd seen a couple of his teammates floating around the base doing something or other, but the last thing he wanted to do was socialize.

He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking. About Kakashi. About who he 'really' was. If what he'd spouted in their therapy session was all a load of crap. But...it wasn't. When he thought about his Senpai, what he was to him, bravery was what came to him first. And then loyalty. And then his burning, powerful sense of justice. The broken heart part...he'd always sensed something sad about him. He knew he'd had to kill one of his friends against his will, and that would tear anyone apart. When he first met Kakashi, he seemed like the kind of person everyone wanted to be. He was handsome, ridiculously talented, very intelligent, witty, calm...everything a popular person was.

But as soon as you spent time with him, real time, you realized he was like a wall of ice. Because anyone who spent real time with him threatened to get too close. And then he would be hours late for any meeting you had with him, which would frustrate you, and want to push you away even more. And then he would tease you, and it would frustrate you, and it would push you away even more. And then he would ignore you, or he would talk down to you, or he'd talk around you...and it would frustrate you...

And so, most people would stay at a comfortable arm's length. After all that, you'd think Kakashi would be considerably less popular. But he was too cool. He was too talented. He was too charming when he chose to be.

Perfect, is what he was. Until you threatened his bubble.

Tenzou couldn't believe all the things that were coming to him. All the things he'd known for the past two years but had never really thought about. Because...it didn't matter if Kakashi had walls, he was his Senpai. He still respected and admired him. He would always respect and admire him.

He rolled over on his bed and closed his eyes.

Respect and admire.

Is that what that feeling was at the very base of his stomach? When Kakashi kissed him? When he held him?

Respect and admire had been easy.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Deep down, Tenzou's intuition picked up a presence. A spirit. A soul.

He jerked up in bed, but found himself pinned. For the second time that day he experienced a very fleeting extreme panic. When his skilled eyes adjusted to the night, mere seconds, he realized he had nothing to fear.

Kakashi was gazing down at him, his legs straddling Tenzou's waist. As soon as he was awake, Kakashi sat back, resting on Tenzou's stomach and hips. His gaze seemed dead, vacant, but it wasn't. There was something there.

"Senpai..." Tenzou whispered, gazing up at his captain, flat on his back.

"Tell me more about myself." Kakashi requested.

Tenzou's mouth suddenly felt dry. His abdomen was on fire where Kakashi sat on it. There was something thick in the air he couldn't name, but he'd felt it before.

"Are you upset with me?" Tenzou asked softly.

Kakashi leaned forward, balancing himself by resting his hands on either side of Tenzou's head. "What would you do if I was?"

"Apologize..."

"Hmm." Kakashi purred, his eyes narrowing just so. "I'd rather hear more interesting things than that from your mouth tonight."

The breath caught in Tenzou's throat as a wave of fire whipped down his legs and to his toes.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I told you already. Tell me more about myself."

Tenzou was confused, confused as to what Kakashi's intentions were. But there was something about the darkness, Kakashi on top of him, his eyes shining in the moonlight, his powerful arms bare, the muscles on his chest outlined through his top.

"I...I told you, Senpai."

"Was that all?" Kakashi whispered, leaning even closer to Tenzou. "That's all I am?"

Tenzou found he had to fight to get the breath into his lungs. "I think it's a lot. You're..a lot of good things. What do you think you are?"

Kakashi barely hesitated.

"Trash." Was his harsh answer. However, it didn't reach his eyes. They were surprisingly void.

"Why would you think that?"

"I've never accomplished anything of any importance."

"Neither have I, really. Am I trash?"

That seemed to make Kakashi think. He stood a little taller, as if he needed room. He gazed down at Tenzou long and hard, the mokuton user laying prone in the same position he'd woken up in. It felt like he was glued to the mattress.

"Of course not." Came the answer, Kakashi's voice softer than Tenzou had expected.

"So...you aren't, either."

"We're not the same. It's different. I let people down; you haven't."

"What if I did?" Tenzou asked, gaining confidence. "What if I tried to help someone I cared about and failed. I tried really hard, with everything I had. You knew that; you could see it. But I still failed. Would I be trash?"

Now Kakashi's eyes looked scared. They looked panicked. Like he was following Tenzou's reasoning and couldn't argue against it. Like he didn't want to consider what that meant for himself.

Whirling around, Kakashi spun his legs over the side of the bed and hopped off Tenzou in one fluid movement. Before Kakashi could get to the door Tenzou was off the bed and behind him.

"Senpai!"

Kakashi stopped. Tenzou stood there, fists clenched, emotions high, stomach in knots, and an all-consuming urge wracking his entire being.

"...Kiss me..." Tenzou whimpered, unable to look up as he asked.

And in the next moment he felt someone grip the front of his top and whirl him around so fast all he could do was yelp in response. His back hit the door, his head snapping back against the wood. He was in a daze, barely able to register what happened, when a surprisingly gentle pair of lips captured his. Kakashi's warm, hard body was all around him. The kiss was gentle, but searing and long. Tenzou was overcome with want. He whimpered again, deep in his throat, and threw his arms around Kakashi's neck. He suddenly felt ravenous. He could barely control himself.

They kissed for as long as they had breath. They parted just slightly, panting heavily, eyes glued together. Tenzou still managed to look innocent and flustered despite initiating their intimacy.

"I don't understand you, Tenzou." Kakashi breathed. "Why do you like me? When you know my past? When you say that my personality is made of walls?"

Tenzou blushed, glancing down. "I...never really...dissected your behaviour until recently. It didn't really matter. Senpai is Senpai. Sometimes you're ah...hard to deal with, but...it's what's inside of you that I'm friends with. It's...well..."

Tentatively, Tenzou removed one of his arms from Kakashi's neck and gently poked him in the heart. "This. In here. You know? Sometimes you hide it for a long time. But you can't make me forget that I saw it. Or...what it did for me."

Kakashi seemed effectively cowed. Tenzou was just so openly genuine that one could not argue with him. What he said was what it was. Even if Kakashi didn't want to admit it, had been fighting against it for years, Tenzou saw real good in him and he was an intelligent enough person not to be creating things in his head because he wanted to. He was a ninja; he saw underneath the underneath. It was an insult to his intelligence to imply he didn't know what he was talking about. How could he not? It had been his job to read people since he was 6 years old. Just like Kakashi.

The copy-nin took a tiny step back from Tenzou. He dropped his head.

"This is a bit much." he whispered. Without another word, he pulled Tenzou from the door, gently enough that his friend could come with him on his own accord. He lead them to the bed again, where like the night before, he clutched Tenzou to him and dropped onto the mattress. It was just...so wonderful to fall asleep next to someone. It made him feel whole. Especially with Tenzou, someone who he had to admit, he trusted a whole damn lot.

Silence followed as the two lay together, partially intertwined. Kakashi wanted Tenzou so badly it freaked him out. He wanted to dirty him, to hear him pant, call his name...

He felt horrible, because he didn't know if it was wrong or not. He'd never really wanted anyone like that before. He didn't know why it WOULD be wrong...Tenzou wasn't really that much younger than he was, and he'd been through a hell of a lot more than any civilian 15 year old had. It's just that...he was so sweet. And open and kind. And Kakashi wasn't. He...damn. He couldn't even call himself trash without thinking of their conversation earlier. Maybe Tenzou was right and he was being too hard on himself.

He looked down at his kouhai's now sleeping face. His long hair gave him a whole other element of dainty sweetness that made Kakashi feel like a terrible human being for wanting to touch him. But...Tenzou obviously wanted Kakashi, too. So. How wrong could it really be?

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


	7. Chapter 7

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next morning Tenzou managed to wake up without having a heart attack at the same time. He still wasn't used to opening his eyes and seeing Kakashi's peaceful, handsome face next to his, but at least he wasn't expecting to get stabbed in the throat either.

As was expected from Kakashi, he was conscious the second Tenzou made even the slight movement of opening his eyes. The copy-nin chose to feign sleep, but Tenzou could tell he was awake from the barest shift of his breathing pattern. Following Kakashi's example Tenzou closed his eyes again and merely enjoyed the closeness of his Senpai. He could honestly have stayed in bed with him all day, it was the most peaceful feeling he'd ever enjoyed. The thought of their upcoming mission pierced his bubble of serenity and almost made him groan. He usually enjoyed missions, but now that they potentially interrupted something he liked better, Tenzou found himself agitated by the idea of them. Their mission debrief was that afternoon. From the angle the sun streamed into his apartment he could tell it was fairly late in the morning, so they had to get up relatively soon.

Kakashi shifted next to him and Tenzou opened his eyes again. His captain had shifted onto his side and was gazing at him quite intently. Tenzou smiled with a sudden shyness.

"Good morning, Kakashi-Senpai."

"Hmm." Kakashi answered. "I'm hungry. Do you want to get food?"

"Oh!" Tenzou sat up in bed, not expecting the question. "Well, I could make us breakfast, Senpai. I have lots of food."

Kakashi wrinkled his nose at the suggestion. "I'd prefer for you to eat with me. There's a place I like in Konoha; I could take you there."

At the mention of braving the village Tenzou's face dropped. Kakashi had been expecting the reaction and was prepared to needle his companion. "What's wrong? You're not avoiding the village, are you?"

"U-uh..." Tenzou stammered, obviously guilty as charged. "No, Senpai. We could go there if you'd like."

"I'd like." the copy-nin responded with a knowing grin. Tenzou felt his stomach drop but he put on a brave smile regardless. If he was with Kakashi, it would be ok. Maybe this was his chance to meet some new people and get used to the idea of being there permanently. He couldn't hide out at the ANBU base forever.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The first step in their adventure together was for Tenzou to procure some clothes that didn't scream 'ANBU'. Luckily for Tenzou, Kakashi still had the save civilian wardrobe he'd possessed when he was younger. Kakashi whisked himself back to his apartment to piece together an appropriate outfit for Tenzou. Perhaps worryingly, he couldn't find a single top that didn't have a mask attached to it. He supposed to could be worse; at least his entire wardrobe wasn't green and orange.

When Tenzou finished dressing himself he stepped out of his bathroom and sheepishly curled some of his hair around his finger as he waited for approval. "What do you think?"

Ironically, the top he wore looked almost exactly like the standard, tight fitting ANBU tank top he wore on a daily basis. He supposed Kakashi was predisposed for the 'dark side' before he even knew it. However, his pants were much baggier, he had black, mid-shin strapped sandals, a black belt and a little unused mask hanging around his neck.

"You look like me when I was 12." Kakashi mused.

Tenzou tenderly fingered the fabric of his pants as if he hadn't given the fact that Kakashi had worn them any thought. "Huh..."

Speaking of himself when he was 12, Kakashi hoped no one would recognize the clothes Tenzou was wearing as his. He didn't exactly have the most extensive wardrobe and people in the village had known him since birth. Seeing as they didn't have much of an option Kakashi decided to roll with it. He slapped a hand on Tenzou's shoulder and smiled down at him. "Let's go. I'm famished."

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The two strolled through the village with far too much fanfare for Tenzou's liking. Kakashi seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that everyone they passed were staring at them like they had seven arms and purple faces. Tenzou was becoming increasingly self-conscious that he looked ridiculous or was doing something 'out of line' with how the people in the village acted. Finally, after a woman stared at him so long she nearly collided with another person, Tenzou turned to Kakashi with a frown on his face.

"Am I doing something wrong, Senpai?"

Kakashi blinked down at him in mild confusion. "No. What could you be doing wrong?"

"Well...it's just...everyone is staring at me. I'm uncomfortable."

With a genuine smile, Kakashi lightly tussled Tenzou's hair. "They're staring at you because they don't recognize you. It's a small village; everyone knows everyone."

"Okay." Tenzou responded quietly, although it was clear he was not comforted.

"_KAKASHI!_"

Tenzou spun as someone behind them called his Senpai's name in excitement. To the mokuton users surprise, Kakashi did not react at all. He actually kept walking as if he hadn't heard them. Tenzou wondered if the newcomer was someone Kakashi wanted to avoid or if he was just being his usual cold and detached self.

A moment later a pretty woman and a talk, dark haired man emerged from the crowd. The man looked unimpressed but the woman seemed friendly and open. They caught up to the two of them easily despite Kakashi's attempt to pretend they didn't exist. As they approached, the two of them gave Tenzou a curious look that made him want to hide in a hole for the rest of the day.

"We haven't seen you in weeks, Kakashi. How have you been?" the woman asked casually as she smiled at Tenzou.

The greeting seemed to force Kakashi to acknowledge their existence. He turned with his hands shoved in his pockets and shoulders stiff. His eyes were half-lidded and his voice was flat.

"I've been busy."

"Ah." she answered absently, as if she'd been expecting a tart response. "And who is your friend? I've never seen him around."

Tenzou took a deep breath, determined to be social, especially with people who knew Kakashi. He felt a little star struck, really. He didn't know Kakashi had friends in the village, but these people obviously knew him well.

"Hello! My name is...ah..." And then he balked as he realized he had no idea what name he was supposed to go by.

"Tenzou." Kakashi supplied for him."He's a friend of mine."

With a large blush Tenzou extended his hand and smiled as pleasantly as he could. Asuma cranked a curious eyebrow at him and Kurenai merely smiled right back. She shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Tenzou. I'm Kurenai. And where have you been hiding all this time?"

"I...transferred from another department. I wasn't really out and about before." He replied quietly.

Kurenai and Asuma exchanged a quick glance. With a light shrug Asuma stuffed his cigarette into his mouth so he could also shake Tenzou's hand. "Asuma. Nice to meet you."

Before the three of them could strike up any more conversation Kakashi cleared his throat loudly. "We'll be going now." he stated simply as he grasped both of Tenzou's shoulders and spun him around. Tenzou noticed the frustrated expression on Asuma's face and the disappointed one on Kurenai's. This was definitely not the way Kakashi was supposed to be treating his friends if he wanted to improve himself. Tenzou leaned in and whispered up to his captain.

"Shouldn't you stick around and talk to them? They're nice and they're happy to see you."

Kakashi looked like he was going to argue but stopped dead in his tracks at the look on Tenzou's face. His little kouhai had busted out the cutest, most lethal puppy-dog eyes and adorable pout combo Kakashi had seen in recent memory. It reminded him that yes, he was supposed to be making friends. These people were already his friends and had shown him more patience and understanding than he deserved. He was a total dick.

With a light sigh Kakashi put on his best 'happy face'.

"But I guess lunch can wait. How have you two been doing?"

Kurenai and Asuma's jaws smashed into their necks simultaneously. Tenzou guessed that meant Kakashi didn't try to make conversation often, if ever.

"Uhh...we've...been great!" Kurenai managed to respond as she recovered from her shock. "Asuma has just come back from his 10th A-rank mission in a row for this month. He's really been working his way up."

The man in question blushed faintly and scratched the back of his head. "Well...I mean, I do what I can..."

"He made jounin last month, too!" Kurenai continued in excitement.

Kakashi's face fell. He hadn't realized Asuma had taken the jounin exam. He felt like a complete idiot for missing such an important moment in his friends life. A soft, genuine smile spread across Kakashi's face that almost had Asuma stepping back in confusion.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks..." Asuma responded with obvious astonishment. "Must not seem like much to you; you've been a jounin forever. But it was pretty exciting."

There was a moment of tension where Kakashi basically felt like a huge asshole and the other two weren't sure how to steer the conversation in a direction that wouldn't make him feel like more of an asshole.

Kurenai elegantly saved the day.

"What about you, Tenzou? You look young; what's your rank?" She asked politely.

"Ah. I'm not really sure." The mokuton user blinked as he tried to think about it. "The ranking was done differently where I worked. I haven't taken the jounin exam, so I suppose I'm a chuunin?"

Kurenai and Asuma looked at each other again. Kakashi tried to think of how the hell they were supposed to explain anything about Tenzou without giving away that he was in ANBU.

"Did you take the chuunin exam?" Kurenai asked slowly.

"Ah, I took something. I was 6 years old so I don't remember that well."

The two of them balked.

"_Six_? Well. I suppose geniuses take genius company." Asuma laughed gruffly. "And the test was so easy you barely remember taking it? Geeze. I had to fight my ass off to pass that exam."

Tenzou blushed brilliantly. He hadn't meant to brag. Kakashi waved it all off with a few flicks of his wrist and cleared his throat again.

"We really need to get going. I'm starving."

Kurenai and Asuma were already shocked that Kakashi had talked to them for this long; the last thing they were going to do was complain about him leaving now.

"Sure. Good to see you, Kakashi. Don't be a stranger." Kurenai flashed him one last smile before she turned her attention to Tenzou. "It was nice to meet you, Tenzou. Hopefully we'll see you again."

Not knowing how else to respond Tenzou bowed lightly with a slight blush. "Thank you. It was an honour meeting you two."

They both laughed lightly at his formality, causing Tenzou to blush deeper.

"How does a nice kid like you become friends with that creep?" Asuma chuckled. Kakashi shot him a look and Tenzou ducked his head in mortification.

"Thanks Asuma." Kakashi responded flatly.

"No problem. I'm here all week."

Without much more fanfare the two ninja waved to the ANBU pair and walked away, quickly dissolving into the crowd.

"How do you know those two, Senpai?" Tenzou asked quietly as they resumed their pace towards lunch.

"They're my classmates."

"Oh..." the mokuton user responded, surprised. "So you've known them for a long time?"

"Yes."

His flippant answer struck a negative cord in Tenzou. What he wouldn't give to have classmates, old friends, to talk to. Everyone he'd 'grown up with' was dead, and he had no idea who his actual family were or if they were still alive. It was ridiculous that Kakashi had people who were willing to be in his life and he was prepared to ignore them or treat them coldly.

Silence continued for so long that Kakashi gently nudged Tenzou to get a response from him. The brunette glanced up at his captain and tried to smile, but he couldn't keep the tension from his features. Kakashi noticed and leaned down to talk to him.

"What's wrong?"

It was tempting to say 'nothing' and ignore a potentially awkward conversation, but it was completely against Tenzou's character to do so. "I was just thinking about how much I'd love to have classmates." he answered tersely.

Kakashi's face fell. He looked ahead of him, his head slightly bent in shame. "Sorry."

The apology was so genuine and so full of self-loathing that Tenzou whipped his head around to stare at his captain, suddenly guilty for being frustrated about something he knew was a serious issue with his friend.

"You'll try with them. Won't you?"

There were so many genuine emotions playing in Tenzou's voice that only some heartless baby-eating demon spawn would have given anything but an affirmative answer.

"Of course." Kakashi whispered with a smile.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They had lunch at the ramen stand in peaceful silence. Tenzou ordered whatever was on the menu that had the most vegetables and Kakashi ordered his usual. As was the custom for that day, the vendor stared at Tenzou as if he had three eyes and a forked tongue. He cared too much about being rude to his valued customers to ask who he was and where he came from, so that tense conversation was avoided.

But not for long.

Something seemed to stir the very air around them. They both perked up from their meals, but the look on Kakashi's face told his companion he knew exactly what was going on. He looked terrified.

"Oh no..."

Tenzou blinked. "What is it-"

"-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUTHHHH!"

A blur of green and orange came rocketing out of left field and almost demolished the entire ramen stand. Kakashi and Tenzou ducked for cover. The vendor sighed and stood there.

When the two ninja emerged from their hiding places behind their stools a man with an incredibly awkward haircut, and an even more awkward wardrobe, stood on top of the serving counter with his hands proudly splayed on his hips. He was grinning from ear to ear; absolutely the biggest smile Tenzou had ever seen.

"RIVAL! I have not seen you in weeks! I CHALLENGE YOU."

Tenzou looked to Kakashi in utter confusion. Kakashi looked mortified.

"Gai. Not now..."

The green beast blinked and turned to Tenzou as if he hadn't noticed he was there until that second. His smile seemed to grow twice its size.

"AH! I can't believe it! Kakashi, my quiet rival, my silent stoic friend, is on a date!"

Tenzou turned red for the millionth time that day.

"U-uh..."

"And with such a cute young girl, too!"

Kakashi sighed and Tenzou made a small, strangled sound in the back of his throat.

"Ah. Actually..."

But Tenzou had no time to finish. Gai leaped down from the counter, landed in a crouch, back flipped, landed on his knees and threw out his arms.

"WELCOME TO OUR LITTLE FAMILY!"

Tenzou stared in mild horror and Kakashi just looked tired.

"Gai. He's a he."

The taijutsu master stood quickly. He took a large step forward and came almost nose-to-chest with Tenzou. Bending forward, he practically stuck his face directly into Tenzou's ribcage.

"AH! I see." he stood straight again, laughing loudly. "I thought you were just a little flat. But I see that you are, indeed, male. Sorry about that!"

Tenzou gulped. "It's ok?"

Kakashi rubbed his temples roughly. "Gai, Tenzou. Tenzou, Gai."

"Ah! Tenzou! A very fitting name." Gai nodded, as if confirming his own declaration with himself. "And where did you two meet? I don't believe I've seen you before."

Tenzou was going to answer but Kakashi beat him to it.

"He's younger than us, Gai. You wouldn't really have run into him."

Gai didn't look satisfied with that answer, but he wisely let it slide. He seemed close with Kakashi, so he probably new his personality and how private he was.

"Very well. Good to meet you, all the same! Sorry for interrupting your lunch. It isn't very often that I see this one anymore!" Gai exclaimed, hooking Kakashi around the neck with his arm and pulling him in for a large, painful looking bear hug.

Now that things had sort of settled down a bit, Tenzou found himself amused by this Gai character. He didn't seem to be put off by Kakashi's aloofness what-so-ever. He seemed to ignore all the cold boundaries Kakashi placed on himself towards other people. Gai was the perfect person to get close to him, because nothing would deter him.

"How do you know Kakashi-senpai, Gai-san?" Tenzou asked with a little smile.

"AHHH!" Gai exclaimed, shoving Kakashi away and jabbing a finger into the air. "Kakashi and I...are star crossed RIVALS! Since the tender age of young, we have battled each other for the title of The Better Shiobi!"

A large tear seemed to form at the corner of his eye. He wiped it away dramatically. "He...is winning! He is one point ahead!"

Tenzou laughed, turning to his disgruntled captain. "I didn't think you were the competitive type, Senpai."

"I'm not." Kakashi grunted.

"NONSENSE!" Gai cried. "Why, just a month ago we were in a heated battle of who could run the fastest! Alas...he holds the title! BUT NOT FOR LONG IF I CAN HELP IT!"

Gai leaped into the air, twirled around and landed on the ramen stand counter again.

"YOUTH!"

"You have quite the task ahead of you; Kakashi-senpai is the fastest shinobi I know." Tenzou supplied with a friendly smile. "But if your entrance is any indication it seems you're really fast, too."

Gai leaned forward with a knowing smirk on his face.

"Ah. Kakashi-Senpai, is it? You two must know each other well."

Tenzou flushed bright crimson and Kakashi sighed deeply once again.

"We should get going, Gai."

But Gai didn't move. He simply openly studied Tenzou with absolutely no shame. Tenzou stared back, deciding to interpret it as a battle of wits since Kakashi's strange friend was so competitive. After a few moments of tense silence Gai reared back and laughed loudly again.

"Well! He's made of something, this tiny thing is. I like it. I would be curious to get to know the person who Kakashi can stand to be around for more than two minutes."

There wasn't a hint of bitterness or sadness in Gai's tone when he spoke, but his words struck a cord with Tenzou. Here was another one of Kakashi's old friends who barely saw their classmate because he refused to be around them. Tenzou was glad he'd ventured into the village; otherwise he never would have gotten this glimpse into Kakashi's life.

"I'm certain Senpai can stand to be in your company for far longer than that, Gai-san." Tenzou responded. His tone was light, but he looked Gai dead in the eye when he said it.

Gai's grin spread so wide Tenzou wondered if it hurt his face.

"Indeed. Thank you for that sentiment, Tenzou. I will leave you and my rival to your business."

With one last embellished twirl, Gai blew a sloppy kiss at Kakashi, winked at Tenzou and leaped away into the distant crowd.

Tenzou couldn't help but laugh as he turned to Kakashi.

"He's certainly different..."

Tenzou trailed off as he came face to face with Kakashi, who was staring him down with such intensity he found himself shifting slightly on the spot. "Is...everything OK?"

"Fine." Kakashi answered easily. He decided to drop his serious demeanour and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "We really do need to go, though. We have a meeting we're already late for."

Distraction: accomplished. Tenzou became so flustered about their unprofessional tardiness that he forgot about Kakashi's interesting friend and the general antics of that morning. The two headed back to base immediately with Tenzou practically dragging Kakashi along for the ride.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The meeting went without a hitch considering they were an hour late. It amazed Tenzou how fast Kakashi could pick things up when he had almost no context to go off of. The mokuton user did notice a few raised eyebrows and curious glances at the two of them coming in late together. Tenzou was never late for anything, so it must have seemed strange that they practically played hookie together from an important debrief.

When the rest of the team had filed out Kakashi and Tenzou were left alone in the room. The younger shinobi decided to take the opportunity to bring something up that was troubling him.

"Senpai..." he began. When Kakashi gave him his full attention, he continued. "Do you think...maybe, as part of your therapy...that you could make a goal of spending one day a week with your friends?"

Kakashi stared at him, unmoving, for just a moment. "Huh?"

Tenzou coughed and glanced down, embarrassed. "Well. I mean. It just seems like they miss you. They care about you, especially Gai-san. I think that's really great. I think it would be good for you."

The unspoken words that seemed to resonate in the air between them were "I wish I had friends like that." It was impossible for Kakashi to make any kind of snappy come back when Tenzou so obviously lacked what Kakashi took for granted. For the eighty trillionth time that month, Kakashi felt like the shittiest sack of shit on the planet.

He was about to sigh loudly but stopped himself. He deserved no sighs. He did this to himself.

"Yes. I'll try that."

The way Tenzou's head snapped back up and his eyes filled with joy made Kakashi realize he might have jumped off a cliff if Tenzou had asked him to.

Just a little bit of a scary thought.

Kakashi needn't worry about dedicating himself to anything else as Tenzou had no intentions of imposing his will any longer. The mokuton user quickly gathered his things, smiled sweetly at Kakashi and bid him farewell. The two ninja both had plans of being productive, but for different reasons. Tenzou went back to his apartment to get his equipment ready for their impending mission while Kakashi made a bee line for Ami's office.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When the knock came, Ami glanced up in annoyance and flicked her eyes towards the clock on her wall. She didn't have an appointment for another hour and she really wasn't looking forward to in between consultations. It just wasn't the most fabulous day for extra drama.

"Come in." she sighed.

When Kakashi poked his head through her door she nearly fell off her chair. "Oh! Well, this is a surprise."

The copy-nin entered wordlessly and closed the door behind him. He stood before her desk, a cheerful smile in place.

"I have a suggestion."

Ami leaned forward. "Please. Suggest."

"What if I dedicate two days a week to spending actual time with my classmates in the village, and in exchange, we only have therapy sessions once a week?"

The therapist regarded Kakashi with obvious suspicion. "You're actually going to go on play dates with your friends?"

Kakashi smiled. "Yes."

"Really?"

"Of course. And in exchange...one therapy session a week. Doing actual, on the ground work is going to be better for me than just talking about it."

Ami leaned back in her chair. "Well, I agree with you on that. It just seems like you're getting a pretty sweet deal out of this. I'll tell you what; make it three days a week and you have yourself a deal. HOWEVER. You need to give me the names of your friends. I will call them into this office at the end of every week and ask them for an official report on what you guys do together and how you act. Don't think you're going to cheat yourself with this, Kakashi."

Well. He'd been expecting some kind of compromise, so he could live with that.

"Deal."

"One more thing." Ami added with a feral grin. "If I decide you're not making enough progress, I reserve the right to pull our deal and put you back into daily therapy sessions without any warning. Please take this seriously."

Kakashi smiled innocently. "Of course."

"Also. I plan to get the Hokage involved. I'm sure he knows your friends?"

It was because Kakashi was so damn skilled that his smile was still firmly in place. "Yes."

"Good. Write down their names and I will give him the list personally."

Kakashi did as he was told. If he was honest with himself, despite the fact that he always reverted to his shifty nature, he really did plan on taking this seriously. It just happened to benefit him because it meant he only had to sit in this torturous hell hole of an office one day a week.

"Oh, and Kakashi?"

"...Yes?"

"Tenzou doesn't count."

Sigh. "Yes. I figured as much."

Ami smiled. "Wonderful."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Tenzou approached Ami's office for their regularly scheduled therapy he was surprised to find Kakashi waiting for him outside.

"Senpai...?"

Kakashi pushed off the wall and gently guided Tenzou back in the direction he'd come from. "That won't be necessary today, Tenzou. Or...for the rest of the week. Our next session is next Monday."

It was slightly insulting that Tenzou looked incredibly suspicious. "What do you mean?"

"You gave me an idea when you told me to spend more time with my classmates. I spoke to Ami about it, and she agreed to only do one session a week as long as I spent three days a week with my friends."

Tenzou's face lit up like a fire cracker. "_Really_? Three days? That's great! I was only expecting one, if that..."

"Yes, well. She drives quite the bargain, that woman..." Kakashi muttered.

"Imagine how happy Gai-san will be that he can compete with you on a regular basis." Tenzou commented innocently.

Kakashi stopped dead in his tracks.

Ugh.

"Senpai...?"

"Nothing..."

The two continued to walk together in amicable silence. However, something was stirring in the copy-nin as the time he spent with his young kouhai increased. Kakashi was slightly freaked out that he didn't really want to leave Tenzou's side any time soon. He was so used to being completely on his own and now, all of a sudden, all he wanted to do was spend time with someone else. A large part of him wanted to rebel and go home just for the sake of it.

The thought of his apartment dredged up cold, empty visions in his head. A bed he'd only ever slept in alone. A kitchen he barely used anymore. A suffocating silence that was never pieced.

And then he remembered what it was like to fall asleep cradling Tenzou. There was really only one decision he could make, and the faster he made it the less either of them would suffer.

"Have you finished prepping for the mission?" Kakashi asked casually.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. I had most of what I needed so it didn't take long."

"Then you wouldn't mind some company?"

Tenzou only just faltered in his step. A happy, sheepish smile crept onto his face. "I would like it, Senpai."

Kakashi smiled back.

Their walking continued, but with an added density to the air that had Tenzou's stomach in knots. He couldn't remember ever being nervous around someone he knew so well. He tried to reason with himself, but the situation was beyond any kind of logic. Kakashi made him feel giddy and anxious and excited. Tenzou glanced at his captain out of the corner of his eye as inconspicuously as he could. To his surprise he noticed Kakashi's fists were clenched in his pockets, his eyes intent and focused on the ground ahead of him.

They reached Tenzou's room shortly after. When the young ANBU went to unlock his door he was horrified to notice that his hands were shaking slightly. He stuffed the key into his lock, yanked it to the side, and pushed open the door. As Kakashi walked in he brushed past Tenzou. The smile he sent him was sweet, but his eyes seemed stomach-churningly focused.

With a little gulp Tenzou shuffled in, turning his back to the room to gently click the door closed. He stood there for just a moment, facing the wood, sensing a palpable tension in the room. Tenzou inhaled sharply as he felt his Senpai's presence just at his back. A moment later Kakashi was gently brushing the younger shinobi's hair back from around his neck. Tenzou froze, the ghosting of Kakashi's fingers on the back of his neck sending chills shooting down his body. It still amazed him how his Senpai could affect his breathing, his control over himself, with the barest of touches.

Kakashi dipped his head, the tip of his nose touching the crook of Tenzou's neck. A wave of fire erupted over the brunette's groin and abdomen. He found himself praying for more.

"What was that?" Kakashi whispered against his skin.

Tenzou flushed a violent shade of red when he realized he'd actually said something out loud. He had no idea what it had been. "Ah..."

Kakashi's lips pressed against his neck. Tenzou lolled his head to the side, exposing more of his slender neck to his captain. He inhaled deeply, his back arching ever so slightly.

Kakashi kissed a gentle line down Tenzou's neck to his shoulder. "If I do something you don't like, all you need to do is tell me to stop." He whispered. Kakashi's hesitation was made clear by the increasing intervals between the contact of his lips and Tenzou's skin.

"Uh huh..." Tenzou panted, barely listening. He was utterly, thoroughly caught up in his Senpai. He didn't know it was possible to feel this way.

Kakashi snaked his arms around Tenzou's waist and pulled him back against him. The heat from Kakashi's hips burned Tenzou's backside. It made him even hotter in response.

A flurry of kisses peppered the other side of Tenzou's neck. He craned his head back to look at Kakashi. The jounin captain captured his lips in an instant. Their kiss was slow, searchingly slow. They tested the feel of their lips pillowed together. Kakashi tasted Tenzou's bottom lip, sucking on it gently. Everything about him was sweet. He opened his mouth ever so slowly, and when Tenzou followed suit, their tongues lightly, tentatively, danced together.

Kakashi's hands slowly drifted from Tenzou's waist. He could feel the mokuton user hold his breath as his hands roamed Tenzou's sides, his stomach, his thighs. Kakashi heard a light, gentle keen from deep in Tenzou's throat and he broke their kiss to sweep his legs out from under him and carry him to the bed.

As soon as Tenzou's back hit the mattress his arms were up, asking for Kakashi. His legs spread apart. The copy-nin stood above him, drinking in the sight of him. Tenzou's eyes clouded over with lust. His wonderful, long hair splayed out around him. Oh, he was a sight.

"Tenzou..." Kakashi murmured before he crawled between his legs, dipping his body down, capturing his lips again. He felt Tenzou's thighs close around his waist and he nearly bucked into his hips.

They kissed faster, slightly more aggressive. Tenzou always had just that little bit of shyness, of hesitation. But his hips were pushing into Kakashi's and it was driving him insane. Tenzou wanted him and he sure as fuck wanted Tenzou.

"I'm going to touch you." Kakashi whispered into Tenzou's lips. He felt the mokuton user suck in a breath, hold it.

"Okay." he answered, the thickness of his voice emphasizing his sureness.

Kakashi kissed him again as he snaked one of his hands down to his waist. Ever so gently, he dragged the tips of his fingers along the bulge in Tenzou's pants.

"Ah!" Tenzou gasped, his head falling back, his eyes surprised.

Kakashi grinned. "You like that?"

Embarrassed, Tenzou ducked his head under Kakashi's neck. "Yes..."

Kakashi stroked him with his whole palm and revelled in the bite he received in response. Tenzou's legs widened, his breath hitching. Kakashi continued to touch him over his pants as his kouhai hid in the crook of his neck. "A-ah...ah...Senpai..."

With a little kiss to the side of Tenzou's face, Kakashi pulled his hand back only to slide it into Tenzou's pants. He grasped the base of his hardness and dragged his hand up. Tenzou moaned his name. "K-kakashi-senpai...ahh..."

"Yes. Show me that you like it, Tenzou." Kakashi whispered. He stroked him along his length, played with the head of his cock, dragged a circle around it with his fingers before he dipped down again. Tenzou's legs were shaking.

"Ahhh...ahhh...Senpai...Oh..." Tenzou dug his nails into Kakashi's back, curled into him, overcome with a new sensation that contorted his body. His face stayed hidden in the crook of Kakashi's neck, in his shoulder, pressed against his chest as he was pleasured.

From the tension in his body and his shortness of breath, Kakashi knew Tenzou was close. He gripped his hair with his free hand and pulled his head back. The mokuton user stared at Kakashi with the hungriest, yet sweetest look on his face. Kakashi kissed him, kissed him deeply, pushed at his lips with his tongue until he let him in. Penetrated him.

With a muffled, short moan, Tenzou came into Kakashi's hands. He broke their kiss to look down at himself, his embarrassment evident. "Was...that okay?"

Kakashi chuckled. "Yes. That's the point, Tenzou. It's supposed to happen. It means I did a good job."

Tenzou's blush managed to color his already flushed cheeks. "You...it..was good. Thank you."

Kakashi kissed Tenzou chastely on the lips before he stood back, extracting his hand from his pants. He saw Tenzou's eyes dart down to his own unattended groin. "Oh, Senpai...do you...want me to touch you, too?"

Kakashi looked down.

Ah, right.

"No, Tenzou. Don't worry about me."

The determined look that shone on Tenzou's face was so utterly endearing Kakashi nearly kissed him again. "I can do it, Senpai." He proclaimed with confidence. Leaning forward, Tenzou reached for Kakashi.

The copy-nin snatched his hands out of the air, holding them tight. "_No_. Don't touch me."

Kakashi kicked himself for the harshness of his words. Tenzou looked distraught.

"I..."

"Sorry." Kakashi whispered, pulling Tenzou close to him. "I'm sorry. It's not you. I just...I'm weird."

Slowly, the tension drained out of the younger shinobi's body. "Okay...what will you do then?"

"Give me a second." Kakashi answered softly. He gently pushed Tenzou away so he could hop off the bed and head to the bathroom.

When he was alone he exhaled loudly, ruffled his hair and smacked his forehead against the mirror, closing his eyes.

Wow.

He was in deep.

And SHIT was he ever uncomfortably hard. Roughly, he shoved his hands into his pants, touching himself, sighing.

He closed his eyes and brought back the images from moments ago. The sound of Tenzou's voice, his flushed face, the way his legs and tightened around him, opened for him, his eyes...

With a hiss he came. He arched his head back, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't know why he couldn't let Tenzou touch him. Maybe it was just another level of opening up to him that he wasn't ready for yet. Maybe he just couldn't handle the mental image of an adorable, post orgasm Tenzou looking innocently determined with his cock in his hands.

Oh, shit.

Now he had to take care of himself again.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


	8. Chapter 8

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The unfortunate thing about passion, especially if seldom experienced, is the usual lack of logic. Kakashi realized this all too clearly as dragged his tired, though strangely relaxed, limbs through the dark ANBU base to his teams meeting point for their mission. He'd kind of forgotten all about it. Cause, you know. Fornication.

He couldn't even pat himself on the back for not being alone in his utter unpreparedness. Tenzou had gotten everything meticulously ready the day before, so despite his shared tiredness due to a distinct lack of sleep, he was ready to go at the drop of a hat.

Kakashi was not.

After relieving himself in the bathroom (twice) he'd joined Tenzou on his ANBU-issued bed and they'd proceeded to "snuggle" for another hour before falling into a peaceful sleep.

Until the god-awful sound of Tenzou's alarm clock woke them up not two hours later.

Kakashi then had his own version of a panic attack, consisting mainly of swearing at himself, and proceeded to make his way as quickly as possible back to his apartment. He hadn't really been there in a few days, so the ritualistic gathering of his mission supplies was more rushed than usual. He actually sent a role of gauze rocketing across his apartment in his eagerness to find his last damnable kunai.

Luckily he'd given Tenzou distinct orders to distract their team until he arrived.

Unfortunately he hadn't actually discussed his idea of distraction.

"So. Kakashi-taichou is...doing what?"

"Watering his plants. It's important to give them plenty of water before a mission."

There was a thick silence that Kakashi assumed was the shared confusion of everyone on the team.

"Kakashi doesn't seem like a plant person..."

"Oh, I didn't think so either. But...surprise!" Tenzou answered with forced cheerfulness.

Kakashi sighed before he rounded the corner. Cool. Now his team thought he was 'sensitive'. As he'd feared, there were several snickers that greeted him as he waved casually. Not that he could really hold it against Tenzou as lying was completely against every atom in his body. Pretty much the last person you should ask to 'make some shit up'.

"Yo."

"Hey, Taichou. How are your precious babies?" An eagle mask snickered.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes just so.

"Black and blue if they don't drop the attitude."

Silence.

Threat effective.

"Now. Are we ready to go, or would you all like to stand around and judge my love of nature?"

"No, Taichou! Yes, Taichou!"

"Great."

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Another unfortunate thing about dismissing logic in the face of romance? Being a ninja. Talk about complicated.

What Kakashi really _should_ have considered before inviting himself over to Tenzou's place the night before was what missions would be like with such an attachment. Kakashi was a protective person on a normal day. He looked out for every single person on his team. Throw confusing feelings and ridiculously strong attraction into the mix and it was a bit of a mess.

He absolutely could not keep his eyes or mind off of Tenzou. He needed to know exactly where he was, and how he was doing, at all times. Of course, he kept an eye on his entire team. It was his job. But he was anal retentive about Tenzou. Luckily for him, he was damn sly and covered it up like the pro he was. No one had any clue anything was going on, including Tenzou. But in reality Kakashi was a hair width away from cutting someones head off, carrying Tenzou around, or grounding him for the entire mission. He found himself reworking their formations so Tenzou was protected on all sides. Kakashi put a sword through an enemies eye because he jumped out of the bushes and demanded to know who Tenzou was. The copy-nin was completely aware that Tenzou could take care of himself, but you know, logic. Not applicable.

"Taichou, would you like me to scout the area?" Tenzou had asked him at one point during their mission.

Kakashi pretended to consider it.

"No. I'll take care of it; watch your teammates backs while I'm gone."

"Of course."

It was his brilliant strategy to deny Tenzou any actual, threatening activity but follow it up with another order that had almost no danger but would keep suspicions from arising.

"Senpai, I've picked up an intruder..."

"Excellent work. Keep scouting and I'll send someone to take care of it."

"Senpai, we've finished off the last of the enemies. I can proceed and see if there are any more."

"It would be best to leave that to your two teammates; I need you with me to infiltrate the bunker we took from them."

Etc, etc.

Team Ro came back from the mission safe and sound, as they usually did. Their team had incredibly high success rates and no mortality rate to date. Kakashi congratulated them all on their hard work, told them their next practice date, and everyone dispersed. Naturally, everyone but Tenzou. He was concentrating far too hard on the inside of his locker. It made Kakashi slightly nervous. When the change room had been empty for around a minute and silent for just as long, Kakashi cleared his throat.

"Maa. I'm going to head back to my apartment. It's...been a while since I've been there."

Tenzou turned. It was clear in his large, expressive eyes that something was bothering him. Kakashi realized he hadn't been as sly as he thought he had.

"Senpai..."

Eek.

"Yes?" Kakashi responded casually.

"Were you modifying the mission for me?"

Tenzou seemed sure of himself yet still hesitant. As if it seemed like such an absurd concept that he shouldn't ask, and yet he'd seen something he couldn't deny.

Kakashi still hadn't decided how he was going to handle the situation. Unfortunately, that meant it fell to his instincts. That was never an emotionally healthy thing. "What makes you say that?"

"Ah..." Tenzou wrung his hands together, clearly embarrassed about bringing it up. "I just couldn't help but notice you didn't let me do as much as I normally do."

Danger. Danger.

Damage control. Damage control.

"Tenzou." Kakashi began, his tone warm. "You know I trust you, right?"

The younger shinobi blushed and nodded his head vigorously. "Of course, Senpai!"

"And you know I respect and appreciate your high skill level, especially with the Mokuton?"

More vigorous nodding.

"So, any and everything you do on the mission is helpful. You're pivotal to this team."

Kakashi took a step forward and laid a comforting hand on Tenzou's shoulder. He smiled. "Don't worry about it. You'll have plenty of opportunity to show off."

Well, that did it. Tenzou beamed a sunny smile right back up at Kakashi. "Of course. Sorry, Senpai. I just..."

"No, no. Don't mention it. Now. I have a lot of cleaning to do at home. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure, Senpai." Tenzou answered with bright eyed certainty.

Kakashi gazed at him with a tight, burning sensation growing in his gut. The more time he spent with Tenzou the more he meant to him. It scared him, scared the _shit _out of him, but it excited him, too. He felt drawn to him, physically drawn, like his very skin was being pulled in his direction. He realized he couldn't just...wave at Tenzou and walk away from him anymore. He craved contact.

Kakashi slowly bent his neck, dipping his head. Tenzou realized what was happening and his expression froze. The two of them closed their eyes at the same time. Gently, Kakashi rested their foreheads together. They remained like that, basking in each others warmth, breathing in each other scent, for some moments. Kakashi had the almost uncontrollable urge to kiss him, but wouldn't. He felt guilty about smart talking himself out of their earlier conversation. Tenzou would never do it to him, but he...well. It was just the way he did things.

When they parted Tenzou spared Kakashi a sheepish, happy smile. The mokuton user glanced down at his feet. Kakashi stepped away from him.

"Have a good night." Kakashi whispered, and then all that was left of him was a wisp smoke.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Kakashi appeared in the kitchen of his apartment he sighed loudly into the air and smacked himself on the forehead. He needed to get his shit together. It's just that...all he wanted to do was protect Tenzou. How much could he really protect him on a _mission_? Kakashi had a huge responsibility to his village, his missions and the rest of his team. He'd never flaked so hard. Sure, the mission was still a success. But he'd coddled Tenzou to the point where the Mokuton user noticed. He had to just...continue on as normal and trust. Trust in Tenzou's ability to take care of himself.

Hope with all his soul that his usual luck didn't rub off on his kouhai.

He wouldn't be able to handle that and he knew it.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next day Kakashi woke up, fed himself, and refused to purchase groceries for more nourishment until he spent at least two hours with one or more of his friends. He supposed the 'more' option was the better deal, but a very big part of him wanted to find Gai and spend some time alone with him. He'd been such an incorrigible asshat to his long time friend and he really needed to fix it. Being with Tenzou so much had slowly opened him up to social interaction, so he felt like he may finally be ready.

It didn't take him long to find the Green Beast. Really, the guy was always training or exploding in eloquence about youth, so his chakra wasn't hard to pick up. Or, you could follow the giant dust cloud. Gai liked to run places at super sonic speeds.

Kakashi merely stood a safe distance from his friend with his hands in his pockets and waited for him to notice his appearance. Gai was currently flying through the air, kicking the crap out of clay pots that he was zooming to the ground and throwing up to himself. The display looked quite impressive, but Kakashi knew Gai was just fooling around. This was child's play for him.

Within seconds Gai was pausing mid flying-kick with his eyes wide and his jaw hanging open. Kakashi cringed slightly and waved to him in his usual casual style. One of the reasons it had taken him such a long time to adjust to Gai was that he was the polar opposite of Kakashi. The copy-nin liked to be low-key. Gai was Key Explosion Fireworks Unicorns.

"RIVAL!" Gai cried, zooming over to Kakashi and twisting sharply to stop himself from smashing into him. "What a surprise!"

"Yo."

"To what do I owe the honour of this unique visit?" Gai panted, wiping copious amounts of sweat from his brow with his arm.

Kakashi shrugged as nonchalantly as he could manage. "Just out for a walk."

"Ah! Fresh air is excellent for a youthful complexion!" Gai flexed, stretched, spun, posed. "The power of The Warrior is running through my veins! Nothing is better than a workout where you push yourself to the limit!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow and leaned to the side so he could see behind Gai. He pointedly stared at the clay pots. "You call that pushing yourself to the limit?"

Something glistened in Gai's eyes. "Do you...have a better suggestion?"

They stared at each other. Gai realized his assumption was right and it looked like his heart may have exploded in his chest from excitement.

"Set your terms!"

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A peaceful breeze blew over a gentle sloping hill. A bird sung. A child skipped. All was well.

"I WILL GET YOU RIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!"

The grass was ripped from its roots as two high-powered ninja soared over the hill at such break-neck speeds they carried debris with them from miles back. They were shoulder to shoulder, with Kakashi slightly leading the whole way. Gai's face was contorted into avid concentration and Kakashi looked like he may as well be waiting at the doctors office.

Down they went, blasting through the scenery. They'd chosen a little park just south of the main part of the village to have their race. Mostly it was to prevent irreversible damage to the buildings in the area, but also because Kakashi preferred not to be seen racing for his 'title' as the 'better shinobi' as if he cared. He must _never_ be seen to care. He had a reputation to maintain.

Finally, the finish point was in clear view. It was an old stone statue that no one had bothered moving from the time when the village was founded. Whoever reached this statue first won.

Dust, wind, animals and grass flew around them. Gai looked like he could taste victory. Kakashi narrowed his eyes; no way would he let him win.

Just when they were about to cross the 'finish line' Kakashi propelled himself with his last bit of chakra and spun in a circle, kicking out his leg. Gai did a similar manoeuvre, but just a fraction of a second too late. Kakashi's toe passed the statue first. He'd won.

The two ninja hit the ground, wobbled a bit, fell to their knees and desperately tried to catch their breath. It was only when enough air had returned to Gai's lungs to form words that he spoke.

"DAMN YOU!" he panted, jabbing an accusing finger at Kakashi. "The fastest twice in a row!"

Kakashi merely shrugged. "Told you."

Waving it all off, Gai stood straight, his chest still heaving. "No...no matter. I shall win next time!"

There was a moment of silence where Kakashi merely regarded Gai with a neutral expression. He stood as well, dusting off his shoulders as he answered. "Sure. Next time."

Shock registered on Gai's face. He couldn't even remember the last time Kakashi agreed to a 'future match'. It was like pulling teeth to get him to do anything these days.

Gai's shock quickly melted into a wide smile and happy eyes. "Let us have lunch to bring back our energy!"

As if agreeing to a race wasn't surprising enough, Kakashi did not protest eating with his friend. They made their way in silence to the ramen stand, where they both ordered their usual's. Gai was full of questions, but knowing Kakashi the way he did, he expected few answers. He waited until his ANBU friend had eaten half his noodle bowl before he dove in.

"So. This Tenzou I met the other day. I like him; he's honest."

"Mm." Kakashi responded simply. There was no defensiveness in it, so Gai continued.

"When is it that you met him?" 

Kakashi leaned back, pushing his bowl away gently. He realized being secretive was not the usual way of 'friendship', but there really was little he could tell Gai about Tenzou that didn't involve something top secret.

"A couple of years ago."

"Oh!" Gai exclaimed. "That long ago? Interesting. I'm surprised I have not met him earlier."

A shrug. "He doesn't get out much."

"No? He seemed perfectly social."

Kakashi toyed with his chopsticks. He had to admit, he really wasn't ready to talk about Tenzou. He didn't even know what the hell he was doing himself. So much of it was private. Gai was the closest thing he had to a best friend, but he really couldn't tell him anything. Not yet, anyway...

"It's a complicated story, Gai." Kakashi answered, turning to face his friend with a serious expression. "I can't explain where he came from."

Gai replicated Kakashi's seriousness. He knew Kakashi was in ANBU, so the only assumption he could make was that Tenzou was somehow involved in that. He nodded once. "Alright. Perhaps it would be good for him to be taken into the village more often? We could get to know him as well!"

Kakashi gazed at Gai for a moment. Actually, he was right. It _would_ be good for Tenzou. Gai, Kurenai and Asuma were all people he could trust. Making real friends is what he needed. Becoming integrated into the village is what he needed.

"I will."

Gai smiled. "Excellent! The more the merrier."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Kakashi said goodbye to Gai, a moment filled with many manly tears and promises of tomorrow, he debated going back to the base or heading to his apartment. Obviously, he wanted to see Tenzou. Way more than he cared to admit to himself. But, he felt like he needed some time to himself to process everything that had happened over the last couple of weeks. Tenzou had been virtually alone his entire life; he would understand.

As soon as Kakashi entered his apartment he booked it to his bed and flopped over, landing face first on his mattress. His sheets smelled cold, crisp and clean. He'd seriously preferred them to smell like that at one point in the not so distant past. Now it just seemed lonely.

It slightly amused Kakashi how one experience could taint his way of living forever. He didn't give a shit that he was single before. He'd been sleeping alone in his house since he was 6 years old. Now, after sharing a bed with someone a measly three times, he suddenly felt an aversion to it? The feel and scent of his sheets bringing bad memories instead of a clean rest? How fickle human emotions were.

His thoughts continued thus for hours as he lay on his bed and let his mind wander. Despite the fact that he'd had no desire for friendship for the majority of his life, when he really thought about it, he felt ridiculous for acting the way he had for so long. Sure, his life would have been much simpler if Gai, Kurenai and Asuma had just given up on him. He could have lived in a cocoon of solitude and never cared for anything further. But because he had these friends who kept trying to reach out to him, he kept wondering if he wasn't going about things the wrong way. It obviously wasn't SO much of a wonder that it forced him to change things, but the thought was always there. And then Tenzou had come along. He'd just been...so many things that Kakashi had been and still was. Cold, methodical, and unbending in his loyalty to his 'profession'.

But. Underneath all that, Kakashi had seen someone who wasn't cold blooded. He just didn't know anything other than the mission. Kakashi was drawn to him naturally, had known how to deal with him, because he was almost a replica of himself at that age. The rest was history of course. But it almost seemed inevitable. Kakashi wouldn't have been able to resist him if he'd tried. Tenzou just screamed for help. Kakashi couldn't resist helping someone who needed it. Especially if they were so young, and trapped in the clutches of someone like Danzou.

So now what? Well. The obvious solution seemed to be to keep going. He was basically being ordered to become a 'normal person' anyway because he was SO fucked up that he'd snapped and nearly killed someone. Normal people dated, so...yah.

Kakashi rolled onto his side and reached into his bedside table. Out he pulled the first edition of Icha Icha Paradise. He cradled it to his chest and sighed loudly. Who knew the damn book would actually come in handy? It was slightly embarrassing to think about it, but if it wasn't for the passionate love-making scenes in his guilty pleasure reading material, he would have been a bumbling fool with Tenzou. Kakashi blessed his ability to act confident in any situation, because he was pretty sure Tenzou hadn't the slightest clue he was as new to this as the mokuton user was.

Well. Pretty much...everyone hadn't a clue. It's not like he ever did anything that spelled "Casa Nova" in particular, he just had the air of someone who wasn't exactly a "spring flower waiting to be picked". Actually, when he thought about it, Kakashi was pretty sure everyone thought he was some kind of heart-breaking manwhore. POSSIBLY due to the fact that anyone who hit on him was coldly turned down, but because so many girls _did_ hit on him, everyone assumed he let one or two in whenever he felt like it.

Not to mention the fact that he could wing one hell of a dirty joke thanks to his precious Icha Icha.

To think he'd bought it on a whim at a book sale.

Tenzou, on the other hand, had "Innocent Youth" stamped onto his forehead in blaring red ink. The long hair, big eyes and often rosey-red cheeks did nothing to detract from his charming naivety.

Tentatively, Kakashi cracked his Novel of Romance open and began reading it again from page 1. Now that he'd actually had some experience with 'passion', he found himself sort of relating with what was happening in the story. It was actually a little...exaggerated, but hey, it gave him plenty of ideas.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It wasn't until late the next morning that Kakashi returned to the ANBU base. Knowing it would be futile he checked Tenzou's apartment first. When his single, clean knock was unanswered, he knew no one was in.

Next he tried the sparring arena. To his surprise Tenzou wasn't there, either. Kakashi found himself scratching his head. Where the hell else could he be?

After a quick search of the locker room and communal kitchen turned up with nothing, Kakashi actually found himself worrying. It's not like Tenzou had a roaring social life outside of ANBU. There were literally three places he could ever be.

"Hey, Taichou." A familiar voice greeted behind him.

He turned to see Aki-san, one of the members of his team, walking up behind him with her sword casually slung over her shoulder. Kakashi lit up internally. Aki-san and Tenzou had a pretty good rapport with each other, so there was a fair chance she knew where he was.

"Yo." He greeted in his usual style. "You wouldn't happen to have seen Tenzou around, would you?"

Aki stopped and stared at Kakashi in a way that made him extremely uncomfortable.

"Wait. You mean...you don't know?"

Now WHAT kind of a way was that to answer him? Like, cue the dramatic music here please.

"No..." Kakashi responded slowly. "I don't know. Is there something I should know?"

"Uh...yes. Tenzou was assigned a solo mission. He left yesterday."

Kakashi's eyes visibly widened.

What the _hell?_

"How exactly did this happen and why was I not informed?"

Aki scratched her head in genuine confusion. "He received a raven yesterday with a scroll from the Hokage. I just assumed you were told about it in advance..."

God _damnit_ Hiruzen.

What the shit?

"Thank you. I guess I know now." Kakashi answered flatly, completely unable to keep the sarcasm from his voice.

When Aki left in an uncomfortable hurry, Kakashi struggled to control himself. This was ok. Solo missions happened. Generally, not without the captains input or knowledge, but, you know...

Details?

Kakashi checked in with the missions desk to make sure he, or his team, or a single unprepared member of his team, didn't have a mission. He was in the clear and so was the rest of Ro. What the hell was going on that Hiruzen would send Tenzou by himself?

_Calm down, Kakashi. Tenzou is one of the best in this foundation. Hiruzen wouldn't send him on a suicide mission. Despite his jackassery right now, he isn't actually a jackass._

Right?

Of course.

...

Kakashi booked it straight to the Hokage's office. Something told him Hiruzen would be expecting him.

Because_ obviously._

The two ANBU guards let him in right away which just made Kakashi even more annoyed. Irrationally annoyed, yes, he was aware. But annoyed.

As soon as he stepped in and the doors were closed Hiruzen gestured to a chair in front of him. "Please sit, Kakashi."

Kakashi did as he was told. He waited patiently for Hiruzen to get to the point. Damn he was annoyed.

"We were given reasons to suspect a mole was attempting to break ANBU. Eye witnesses attested to a suspicious character with suspicious ties. We needed someone to sniff him out. It required the utmost secrecy, stealth and excellent scouting abilities. Tenzou excels at all of those things, and we could not afford to send more than one shinobi. We really needed this to be as quiet as possible."

When Kakashi's initial mental reaction was to fly through a list of reasons why Hiruzen was wrong and it should have been someone else on that mission, he realized he was being ridiculous. The only reason he was so pissed was because the thought of Tenzou, by himself, potentially surrounded by blood-thirsty enemies made him want to vomit all over his feet. But there was something else bothering him, too. There were plenty of people on his team who could do the things Hiruzen listed. Why Tenzou?

"Can I know the details of the mission?"

Hiruzen shook his head slowly. Kakashi couldn't help but narrow his eyes.

"I don't think that's a good idea. All you need to know is that he can handle it easily. That, I am sure of."

It was clear as day that Hiruzen knew exactly what was going on with Kakashi and was trying to handle the situation in a way that would agree with him the most, even if he himself didn't agree with it. While Kakashi sort of appreciated the sentiment, he would rather have been sent on the mission himself. Because he, too, excelled at stealth, secrecy and scouting. Kakashi had a feeling Hiruzen's reasons for selecting Tenzou went deeper and he wasn't going to like those reasons at all.

"It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with Root, would it?" Kakashi asked evenly.

Hiruzen paused and stared at him.

God _damnit_.

"But Danzou-"

"Don't worry about him. This mission shouldn't involve him in the slightest."

Kakashi sighed loudly and rubbed his eyes. Fuck. Why did he even ask. He wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight.

"No one will expect Tenzou to be there and he knows the inner workings of Root. He was perfect for the job, Kakashi. And he accepted it without hesitance. If he isn't worried, you shouldn't be, either."

White hot rage sliced its way up Kakashi's chest, closed up his throat and slammed into the backs of his eyes.

Of _course _Tenzou accepted the mission without hesitance. That's what he did. What mission would he ever turn down? _None_. Even if he was terrified, he'd take it. That's what he was _trained_ to do _damnit._

"Can I see the mission scroll?" Kakashi asked, the hand that had been massaging his eyes now serving to shield his furious face from Hiruzen.

"No." Hiruzen responded curtly. "You may not. And you are forbidden to go after him. That is an order, Kakashi."

Kakashi needed to leave and he knew it. He was so many things at that moment that if someone called his name he probably wouldn't have recognized it.

"May I be dismissed?"

"Yes..."

Kakashi stood at once, bowed absently to Hiruzen and teleported from the room without bothering to say goodbye.

When he appeared back at his apartment he whirled around and punched a hole through his wall. Panting heavily, he ripped his arm back out, flicking the wood splinters from his fist.

He couldn't believe they put him back into Root. Not only from an ethical standpoint, which was what enraged Kakashi the most, but he had the _mokuton. _Root had deliberately kept that power from the rest of the village. They would obviously be happy to take it back, and brain wash Tenzou to keep it there.

Was Tenzou scared right now?

Would he run into Danzou? If he did, he was doomed. Tenzou wasn't strong enough to defeat Danzou. Maybe one day he would be. Surely, one day. But not now.

Taking a slow, deep breath, Kakashi tried to calm himself. There was nothing he could do about it now. He had to trust Hiruzen; that he wouldn't send Tenzou somewhere that would get him captured. He also needed to start reminding himself of Tenzou's skill level. But...Root. They were heartless fuckers with no moral code. And Danzou was a sneaky bastard. What if he knew Tenzou was coming...

Kakashi sat on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. He was going to go crazy. He needed a distraction.

Then, he thought of it. His friends.

Quickly Kakashi glanced out of the window. It was only noon, surely they would be about the village.

He disappeared immediately.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Someone upstairs clearly decided to give Kakashi a break, as Gai was sitting at the ramen stand talking up the chef as if he was waiting there for the frazzled ANBU jounin to join him.

Kakashi slid into the seat beside Gai, and when said ninja turned around, he nearly had a heart attack.

"AHH!...But, wait. It is my Eternal Rival! What a surprise!"

A half-lidded stare greeted him. "Yo."

"What brings you here?" Gai asked, genuinely shocked to have Kakashi willingly partake in his company twice in two days.

"Didn't feel like being inside."

Kakashi pulled the menu up and pretended to peruse through it. There was essentially no way in hell he'd ever admit to anyone that he sought out company for the sake of comfort. He wasn't sure if any amount of therapy would ever get him to that level of social ability.

"Well! Cheers to a beautiful day." Gai exclaimed as he held up his little cup of tea. Kakashi wiggled his fingers around and the owner of the stand got the point. He sighed and placed a cup of tea in Kakashi's waiting hand. Kakashi lifted his cup and gently clinked it against Gai's. They both took a sip, the vendor blushing faintly at the brief sighting of Kakashi's handsome visage.

"I have been thinking of what our next challenge should be." Gai began seriously, crossing his arms and furrowing his brow. "I was thinking-"

"-Who can throw the most kunai into a ramen bowl nailed to a post." Kakashi supplied casually around a sip of his tea.

Gai's jaw hung open. Kakashi supplying TWO challenges in a row? What the devil? He literally could not remember the last time Kakashi supplied them with a challenge, let alone two.

It actually may have been never.

"Yuh...yes! Yes, that is a most excellent challenge! Not that I would expect less from my most worthy rival!"

Kakashi downed his tea, smacked down the glass, tossed a coin at the vendor and stood from his chair. He stared at Gai, his eyes all business.

"Let's do it then."

Gai suddenly felt slightly afraid.

"Uh...Of course!"

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Two hours, eighteen ramen bowls and countless kunai later, a victorious Gai was whooping with glee.

"That's TWO more kunai in total! HA! I believe this challenge belongs to me!"

Kakashi eyed the offending bowl with a suspicious scrutiny. "It shouldn't count if they're one on top of each other..."

"We did not specify that in the rules! I made it fit, so it counts!"

"You were standing closer than me when you threw it..."

Gai gasped, scandalized. "I was not!"

The two bickered for a good five minutes before Kakashi admitted that Gai was the winner. The two of them cleaned their mess amongst talk (mostly from Gai) about the latest goings on in the village and what everyone was up to.

"Genma just got back from a rather interesting mission, actually. He and Raidou were both assigned to it, as well as another chuunin i've never met before. They had to apprehend a rather creative villainous ninja who defeated his prey by farting so horrendously that his opponents could no longer breathe and fell unconscious almost instantly."

Kakashi stopped mid kunai pick up. "_What_?"

Gai laughed as he balanced far too many hole-filled bowls on one hand. "Yes, Genma was not happy when he returned dragging a very unconscious and green-faced Raidou."

"What about Ebisu?"

"Ah...he has started teaching I believe. I think he wants to go for the jounin test, especially after Asuma was awarded the title."

Kakashi nodded absently. That made sense. Ebisu always tried to keep up with Asuma, he just never had the stamina to be successful. Or the charm, which he was assuredly lacking. Hence his constant peeping on the opposite sex instead of scoring them.

"Has he done anything ridiculous lately?"

Gai choked slightly and Kakashi basically had his answer.

"Say no more."

"But..." Gai began, turning to Kakashi was a pleading expression. "It is so very entertaining..."

"Is it going to give me nightmares?"

"Hum. Does picturing Ebisu wearing nothing but chicken feathers give you nightmares?"

"It...doesn't give _you_ nightmares?"

Gai actually stopped to think about it which made Kakashi feel slightly nauseous. "Gross, Gai."

"Nightmares is a harsh word..."

"Stop talking."

By the time Kakashi and Gai finished cleaning and catching up, it was nearly dinner time. The copy-nin was relieved to find so much of his day had been taken up with an activity that did not involve stressing himself out about Tenzou. However, he also couldn't remember the last time he'd spent so much time with Gai. In a weird way, it freaked him out. That was too many people getting too close to him in such a short period of time.

Yes. Two people was too many people. Issues.

"Where are you off to now, my Rival?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Home for food."

"Ah! Would you like to accompany me for some light nourishment to celebrate my victory today?"

A pointed look told Gai his gloating was not appreciated. "I don't remember having celebratory dinner when I won our races twice in a row..."

Gai laughed loudly to hide his folly. "HAHAHAHAHA. Well! It is also to celebrate our time together! Why, it has been years since I've seen you so much!"

Kakashi's face dropped. Gai's comment made him feel like a flaming bag of doggie doo-doo. _Years?_ Really? Why the hell did Gai still want to be his friend?

"Alright..." Kakashi responded somewhat sheepishly.

Gai slapped him, way too hard, on the back in excitement and directed him to his favourite dinner spot with a happy grin on his face.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi stood in the hallway of his apartment building facing his front door, key in hand, for nearly a minute. He really didn't want to go in there. There was no way he'd be able to sleep tonight, not when he could already feel the paranoia about Tenzou creeping into his skull. He'd only been separated from Gai for like five minutes fer shits sake. There was really nowhere else he could go, though. Only the ANBU on a night shift would still be at the base, and they were obviously too busy doing their jobs to spar or interact with him.

With a deep breath, he turned the key and went into his apartment.

He tried to distract himself with Icha Icha, but the cold darkness of his apartment seemed to be closing in on him. He decided the only place he could get any comfort was Tenzou's. It was probably REALLY creepy for him to break into his kouhai's apartment and just make himself at home, but that's what Tenzou got for skipping off to Root and driving Kakashi crazy with worry.

Kakashi teleported right to Tenzou's doorstep. He gently placed his hand on the door knob and twisted it with his fingers crossed. To his utter amazement, the door popped open. Tenzou had left it unlocked. He never did that.

Well, that was an invitation if Kakashi ever saw one.

He strolled right in and instantly felt the familiarity of his surroundings settle in on him like a warm blanket. Nothing but good memories existed here.

Kakashi kicked off his shoes, shrugged off his shirt and flopped onto Tenzou's bed. The gentle, woodland scent of his kouhai filled his nose in a way that almost made him sigh. He couldn't believe how much better this was. It felt more like home than his apartment ever did.

He propped a pillow up, cracked open his book and got comfortable. He'd do some more research before he went to bed.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo


	9. Chapter 9

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Senpai...?"

Kakashi _just _managed to save face by turning his half a foot jump of startlement into smoothly shoving his promiscuous Icha Icha book behind his back and posing innocently.

"Ah. You're back."

To anyone who didn't know Tenzou, his current whereabouts would surprise them greatly. He'd decided to phase himself into his room through his wooden floor, as he was akin to do during stealth missions. Currently, he was staring at his Senpai in surprise while only the top half of his body protruded through the shiny wooden surface below him.

"You scared me, Senpai. I thought you were an intruder."

Kakashi smiled and shrugged lightly, as if to say, silly me! "Sorry, Tenzou. I came by and you weren't here. I was too lazy to go back to my apartment. Is this alright?"

The mokuton user blushed faintly as he slowly phased the rest of the way through the floor until his feet landed solidly on the ground. "Ah...yes. I don't mind. I see you've already made yourself at home." Tenzou finished quietly as he blushed further, his eyes flicking down to Kakashi's bare chest.

The man in question glanced down quickly. Oh. He totally forgot.

"Right. I expected you to be gone all night. This feels a little creepy now."

Tenzou laughed loudly in response, causing some of Kakashi's short lived tension to dissipate. "I've never seen you like this Senpai, so I won't complain."

Kakashi blinked. "Like what?"

"Ah..." Tenzou glanced down, twirling some of his hair around his fingers. "You've never taken your shirt off."

There was a moment where Kakashi laughed in his head and was about to correct his silly kouhai, but then he realized he wasn't wrong. A quick fly-over of recent events reminded him that he hadn't actually shed any clothing despite fondling Tenzou quite thoroughly.

Poor kid was getting a pretty raw deal if his porn book was any indication.

"Oh. Well..." Kakashi threw his arms up and smirked. "You're welcome."

Tenzou laughed again and slowly made his way to the bed. He stood at the side, looking down at Kakashi, unsure of how to proceed. An uncommon softness settled in his captains eyes. Kakashi reached out and gently grasped Tenzou's wrists. He pulled himself in so they were practically chest to chest.

"Where were you?"

Tenzou's face went from bashful to confused. "On a mission, Senpai. No one told you?"

Kakashi sure hoped he didn't look as indignant as he felt. "No. No one told me. I had to ask Aki where you'd run off to to find out. I understand you were on a mission, but where?"

Now it was Tenzou's turn to be the hesitant, secretive one. At first he looked alarmed. He quickly schooled his featured and tried to smile. "It's supposed to be top secret, Senpai."

Kakashi fluidly pulled himself up so he was kneeling on the bed, standing a couple of inches above Tenzou, his eyes intense and searching. "Were you back in Root, Tenzou?"

The breath seemed to catch in the mokuton users throat as his blush increased. He was flustered, partly by the conflict he felt in the situation, but also because he was finding it so hard to concentrate when Kakashi looked so arrestingly handsome. "I...well..."

Tenzou was cut off by Kakashi gently grasping his chin and lifting his head ever so slightly. His eyes softened as his genuine worry shone through. Tenzou's mouth dropped open a touch.

"I want to know because I'm concerned. I don't think you should be going anywhere near there."

Tenzou felt his resolve waver, which wasn't surprising because there was no way he was going to be able to resist half naked, heart-warmingly caring Kakashi. As if anyone of any sexuality would be able to resist that.

"Y...yes, Senpai. It was only a short mission! I didn't go in the headquarters, Hiruzen-sama warned me not to. I just had to follow someone. It was alright."

There was a thick, loaded silence as Kakashi searched Tenzou's wide, hazey eyes. He seemed to calm somewhat and gently let go of the mokuton users chin. "How do you know they weren't trying to lure you down there?"

Tenzou inhaled deeply, trying to regain some of his breath. "Ah...well, Hiruzen warned me about that, too. He told me to keep my distance and rely on my scouting seeds and other mokuton jutsu instead of following too closely in person."

A little nerve of anger throbbed in Kakashi's forehead. "If it was such a risk sending you, why did he bother?"

Tenzou bit his lip, obviously torn about giving away information he'd clearly been told to keep a secret. Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Come on, Tenzou. He knows you're going to tell me."

The little ninja looked genuinely confounded. "But...then why did he tell me not to tell you under any circum-"

"-Okay." Kakashi cut in, definitely not wanting to know anything that was going to make him angrier. "Fine. You don't have to say anything. Do you have to go again?"

Tenzou quietly shook his head no. Kakashi sighed loudly with relief. "Well. There's that."

There was a moment of silence that Tenzou took advantage of to shuffle slightly closer to Kakashi. He looked up at him, his wide eyes shining with emotion. "Thank you...for worrying about me."

Kakashi stared at him with a renewed intensity that rivalled his earlier gaze. Gently, he dragged his nails around the back of Tenzou's scalp and buried his fingers in his hair. He leaned closer, his eyes focused on a pair of parted lips. "I couldn't stop if I tried, you know." He breathed.

Tenzou stood on his tip toes and their lips met. As soon as there was contact both of them inhaled sharply as if the kiss was the air they needed. It was hurried, passionate, but still chaste. Kakashi cupped Tenzou's cheeks, pushed back the hair from his face. The older jounin felt little warm, feather-light touches on his chest and almost broke their kiss as he glanced down. Tenzou was very tentatively brushing his fingers over his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles with the barest of touches. Kakashi shivered, his skin electric from the sensation.

"Is...it ok?" Tenzou murmured against Kakashi's lips. It briefly reminded the jounin of his reaction to Tenzou during their last night together. He felt a bit stupid.

"Yes, Tenzou...I like it." He answered, uncharacteristically hesitant in his answer. He felt nervous, being so exposed. How could anyone as strange as him be a leader?

Kakashi reached out and gripped Tenzou's waist, pulling their hips together. He heard the little gasp from his partner and slid his hands up to push up the hem of his shirt. Tenzou blinked as he registered the unasked question. With a bashful smile he lifted his arms. His shirt was over his head and on the floor in the blink of an eye. Tenzou's instinct was to hug himself, but Kakashi gently captured his wrists again and pulled his arms apart.

"Don't be shy. I can't stand here shirtless by myself, I'll feel weird."

Tenzou smiled sheepishly. "You look great."

Kakashi pulled them closer, their bare chests pressed together. Tenzou couldn't believe how wonderful it felt to have Kakashi's skin all over his. It was so warm, soft and strong. Kakashi felt muscular and angular, but his skin was delicate and he smelled like fresh sheets. Tenzou felt like he was drowning in him.

Soft lips pressed a trail down Tenzou's neck and across his shoulder. He gasped, his head falling back as he tightened his arms around Kakashi's chest. Tenzou was hot, hot all over, uncomfortably hot where his waist was still pressed against Kakashi's. He craved more, he craved that release he now knew to be so wonderful. He wanted Kakashi.

"Can..." Tenzou started, but he felt the words stick in his throat. He realized how utterly embarrassing the request he wanted to make was. It wasn't at all like asking to be kissed. Not at all.

"What is it?" Kakashi asked against his neck.

Well, it was too late now. He took a second to shake off his nervousness and just spit it out. "Can you touch me again?"

The request went straight to Kakashi's groin. He paused in his ministrations; he really needed to savour this moment.

"Where?"

Tenzou felt like his head was going to explode. He'd never been so embarrassed. "Y-you know where..."

"I might need you to remind me." Kakashi purred.

Worried he'd sound completely ridiculous, Tenzou opted to show Kakashi instead. He gently took his Senpai's hand and placed his palm flat onto his obvious erection. "Here."

Tenzou cried out as Kakashi's hand closed around him instantly. He heard the other ninja chuckle softly, then Kakashi's hand moved to his abdomen, sliding down his skin until it dipped into his pants. Tenzou hid in the other ninja's chest again, wrapping his arms around his neck tightly.

"Senpai..."

Kakashi stood, stepping off of the bed, and walked Tenzou back to the wall. Pinning him there, Kakashi pressed his body into him, pumping his hand up and down Tenzou's length as he pushed against him. Tenzou gasped, his head tilting back, but Kakashi was above him to look into his eyes. They stared at each other, Tenzou's eyes hazy and Kakashi's hungry, but Tenzou couldn't keep his head up as the pleasure mounted. He moaned and buried his head in Kakashi's neck, digging his nails into his biceps.

"Ah...ah!"

He came into Kakashi's hand and the jounin kissed him firmly on the side of his face. Flushing brilliantly, Tenzou turned his gaze to the floor, resting his forehead on Kakashi's collarbone. The sight of Tenzou practically hiding under him brought a smile to Kakashi's face.

"You alright?"

"Yah." Tenzou answered simply, but he sounded happy. "You're...great, Senpai."

For once, Kakashi was the one blushing. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Geeze..."

Then he yanked his hand back in horror as he remembered what he'd just used it for. Upon realizing it was the _other_ hand, he inwardly sighed with relief. Last thing he needed was his hair to get even crazier because it was jelled up with mokuton juice.

Speaking of which.

"Give me a second, Tenzou." he requested gently. When he made the obvious move to head to the bathroom, Tenzou seemed to panic.

"No! Wait!"

Kakashi stopped, obviously confused. "What's wrong?"

"Ah..." The young ninja stepped forward, gently grasping the waistband of Kakashi's pants. "It doesn't seem right. You should feel..._this,_ too."

Kakashi tensed instantly. He grit his teeth against the further, frustratingly uncomfortable lessening of the space between his cock and his pants. Tenzou offering to give him a handjob was definitely a turn on."I...it's...not that I don't want you to, Tenzou..."

"Maybe...don't look?" Tenzou offered with an innocent smile. "It helps me when I don't look."

It simply stole Kakashi's words that Tenzou was so heart-wrenchingly open and trusting with him. His naivety was something that knew very few comparisons in a social village like Konoha, where most young people knew at least the basics of intercourse. Tenzou most likely knew nothing at all, yet he placed himself in Kakashi's hands (literally) and even offered his own services to Kakashi, despite only knowing what he'd experienced with him. It made the older jounin feel like a chump for being so reserved about intimate contact. What the hell was he even afraid of?

With a light smile, Kakashi stepped closer to Tenzou, looking down into his eyes with warmth and barely hidden nervousness. "Alright. Thanks..."

The barest pursing of his lips was Kakashi's only warning that Tenzou would bounce up and kiss the underside of his jaw in response. The jounin's chest tightened almost painfully, he felt such affection for his little kouhai. He didn't think he'd ever feel this way about anyone. Kakashi thought he would be a cold husk of a human being for the rest of his life.

Tenzou focused his attention on the task at hand, taking a deep breath and assuring himself that it couldn't be all that complicated. He positioned himself in a way that he hoped he would be blocking Kakashi's view. He felt his Senpai shift around him, his arms boxing Tenzou in when he pressed his hands against the wall and learned his weight onto them.

Slowly, Tenzou grazed his fingers around the, quite impressive, bulge in Kakashi's pants. Instantly Tenzou could see the muscles on his Senpai's chest tighten, his abdomen sinking in as he held his breath. Tenzou waited just a moment, but when Kakashi did and said nothing, he continued. Tenzou snuck his hands into his Senpai's pants, waited for the resulting tension in his body to melt, then ran his hand along the length of Kakashi's cock. He heard his captain's sharp hiss and in response, felt his own member grow hard again from their intimacy. Tenzou was amazed at how much it affected him to touch Kakashi, to feel his body react, to hear him breathing heavily. He understood, now, why Kakashi was already in such a state when he hadn't been caressed at all.

Instinctively Tenzou leaned forward and kissed Kakashi's chest. His senpai's hand rested on the small of his back, which he took as a signal that everything he was doing was alright. Tenzou concentrated on mimicking what Kakashi had done for him, stroking his length, playing with the head of his penis with the tips of his fingers. Breath ghosted against his ear as Kakashi gently gasped, sending hot waves of pleasure shooting down Tenzou's abdomen. He wanted to ask his Senpai if he was doing well, but the idea of voicing such a question paralysed his tongue. Instead, he relied on the way his Senpai reacted to his touch. The way Kakashi's muscles clenched around him was fascinating to Tenzou, and he found himself leaning against his Senpai's chest as he pleasured him as confidently as he could. The warmth and strength from Kakashi comforted him.

"Tenzou..." Kakashi hissed. The mokuton user glanced up in surprise and found his lips captured in a searing kiss. A moment later Kakashi gasped against his lips and Tenzou felt his hand fill with warm liquid.

He blinked. He blushed. He felt embarrassingly proud of himself. Like, way too proud.

"Senpai!" Tenzou exclaimed through their kiss. "You did-Mmmph."

Kakashi showed no signs of stopping despite Tenzou's will to speak. The kiss deepened as Kakashi pushed Tenzou against the wall, pressing their bodies together again. The mokuton user felt himself heating up again, their kiss becoming more and more frenzied. When they finally stopped he felt his lips were raw and red, but the look in Kakashi's eyes was enough to fuel him for hours more. He looked hungry and almost haunted. Tenzou couldn't believe a look like that was aimed at him from his closed and often stoic Senpai.

They stared at one another as they panted heavily, Kakashi clearly trying to calm himself and show some kind of self-restraint.

"I...guess that was ok then?" Tenzou asked quietly.

Kakashi lifted his clean hand and gently passed his fingers through Tenzou's long, tousled hair. "Wonderful."

The younger ninja glanced down quickly, flustered. "Thank you. For...opening up to me. I liked making you feel as nice as you make me feel."

That seemed to affect Kakashi. His eyes cleared up, widened slightly. "I make you feel nice?"

A charming, shy little smile spread across Tenzou's lips. "Yes."

Kakashi's look softened as he ghosted the tips of his fingers across Tenzou's jaw. "You make me feel...warm. And alive."

Tenzou felt his heart clench so tightly in his chest that he actually gasped lightly. Warm was how Kakashi made him feel, too. Warm. Wanted. Like...he had a tie to this earth. He wasn't just a floating entity with no one who knew him or cared if he lived or died. The feeling of being valued by another was like the feeling of truly existing. Without thinking Tenzou threw his arms around Kakashi's waist and hugged him tightly. He wasn't used to feeling so strongly about another person; he had to admit that it was a little scary. Maybe now he sort of understood why Kakashi was so hesitant about it.

As if Kakashi could read his thoughts, he suddenly stiffened and stepped back. Tenzou glanced up at him and noticed his eyes looked a little wild. He could feel Kakashi's breathing quicken. A little lump formed in Tenzou's throat, the young ninja suddenly fearful of what would come next.

Kakashi felt an all-too-familiar panic start to terrorize his senses. It was as if he suddenly realized just how deep he was in with Tenzou, and in return, how strongly his kouhai obviously felt about him. It was ridiculous that he'd panic now when the transition of their relationship had been obvious for some time, but he supposed there was no reason to senseless fear.

"Tenzou...I...need to leave for a bit." Kakashi rasped, looking beyond him at the wall.

"What's wrong?"

Kakashi closed his eyes and pressed his fingers into his eyelids. His breathing did not calm.

"I just...sorry."

It was obvious Kakashi was desperately trying to get himself under control, but Tenzou sensed he may be slipping back into his not-quite worked through paranoia when it came to connecting with another person. Maybe admitting how Tenzou made him feel had been a little too much for him.

"Alright, Senpai." Tenzou responded quietly as he let his arms slide from his waist. "I'm sorry if I-"

Kakashi covered Tenzou's mouth with his hand, his eyes begging him not to apologize. There was guilt now, as well as fear. A heavy guilt.

With a quick peck to Tenzou's cheek, so quick he didn't even look at him when he did it, Kakashi disappeared from the room. Tenzou stared into the space he'd occupied, his own heart now racing, fear making its way into his gut as well. He'd come too far with Kakashi already...he didn't want to imagine the pain if his Senpai decided to end their special relationship.

Tenzou slowly shuffled over to his bed and fell onto it. Well, his Senpai _was_ in therapy after all. He couldn't get over everything he'd been through in such a short time. He'd just have to trust.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi appeared in his apartment, hugging himself, trying to calm his breathing. Not only was he seriously freaking out, but he was mad at himself and even a little embarrassed. He'd totally just ran off on Tenzou after they'd been pretty damn intimate and that was obviously not cool. He already had enough of a complex, he didn't need to give Tenzou one, too. But he couldn't help it. It was like the situation between he and his kouhai had finally hit him and it was triggering every emotional insecurity/blockage/trauma he had all at once. At least he hadn't actually hurt Tenzou this time, at least physically. Who knew if he'd traumatized him or something.

He struggled to his bed and sat down heavily, his head in his hands. His chest was hurting from how hard he'd been breathing. Kakashi was legit freaking out and he didn't know how to calm himself. Ironically, the first thought that came to his mind was to go to Tenzou for comfort. Clearly not happening.

Falling back, Kakashi lay staring at his ceiling, running his hands through his hair roughly. He tried to focus on the tiny swirls in the wood of his ceiling panels. He tried to tell himself everything would be okay, that no one had exploded yet, so continuing clearly wouldn't kill him. What was he so afraid of, anyway? Of losing Tenzou and then losing his damn mind? Because that was totally what would happen.

He needed to suck it up and accept that death was part of being a ninja. If he didn't want his friends to die, he should have quit and gotten some civilian companions. But of course he wasn't going to quit. A ninja is what he was. It was all he was good for.

Not to mention that he was so dysfunctional he couldn't even handle a handjob and a cute smile without going apeshit. The civilian life wasn't really for him.

Maybe that was part of the problem. Maybe he was just so low on himself that deep down, he knew he couldn't handle such an intimate relationship with another person. Or, perhaps that was just an excuse. Facing his demons was hard. Opening up was hard. Shutting the world out and living in an ice bubble was way easier and something he was used to.

Cool. He was a total coward.

Tenzou didn't deserve a coward.

_Tenzou doesn't deserve to be dumped either, you idiot._

Hum. The voice inside his head was right. The only solution to his 'problem' was to stop being a bitch and tough it out. There was someone elses feelings on the line now, and Kakashi couldn't bear the thought of hurting Tenzou. His eyes were so large and expressive, Kakashi could clearly picture what heart break would look like on them. It was horrible.

Not to mention the fact that Hiruzen would probably flay him and throw his lifeless corpse in jail just for good measure. Because he was TOTALLY onto his relationship with Tenzou and Kakashi didn't like it. It felt like Hiruzen could already see right threw him, and now he was witness to the only intimate, romantic relationship he'd had to date. And at the rate he was going, would ever have.

Kakashi had to admit, though, that being so close to someone had brought new meaning to his life. He had something to look forward to. He felt connected and cared for. And if he was honest with himself, reconnecting with Gai had felt good, too. It was like...he didn't really have to be so alone. He didn't really have to be in pain, at least not by himself. When Kakashi had been suffering thinking of Tenzou alone in Root, Gai had helped him. When Kakashi felt cold and alone, Tenzou had warmed him.

He wanted that in his life. He really did.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It took Kakashi around three hours of laying on his bed reasoning with himself before he felt good enough to appear before Tenzou and apologize for being a complete asshat. He'd decided that he needed a little bit of time to kind of...accept the fact that he had people in his life who were there to stay, and who he wanted to keep around. It was all a bit much for him a little too fast, and he realized that he needed to slow it down a bit.

If he could keep his paws off of Tenzou. Because...really. It was hard.

No pun intended.

Okay, it was a _little_ intended.

With a deep breath Kakashi steeled himself and then teleported back into Tenzou's apartment.

To find it empty.

"Shit." He cursed, spinning around, wondering where Tenzou could have gone to. He felt like hanging out alone in his apartment twice in one day was just a little much, so he wasn't sure what to do.

Suddenly, the door to Tenzou's bathroom opened behind the copy-nin. Kakashi lit up inside and also felt like a bit of an idiot; as if he hadn't thought of that possibility.

"Tenzou-" Kakashi started as he spun around to face him. And then froze.

Apparently Tenzou wasn't expecting company and had walked out of his shower and into his apartment completely naked. He yelped loudly and ripped the towel that had been in his hair out and threw it around his waist as his entire face was engulfed in a lovely red hue.

"S-s-s-Senpai!" He squeaked.

Kakashi stood there, his eyes wide.

Really?

_Really?_

_REALLY?_

Someone up there had it out for him, they really did.

"I...I'm sorry, Tenzou." Kakashi stammered, his own face going completely red. He held his hands up, a testimony to his innocence. "I should have...well, I should have knocked, but I just wanted to come back and talk to you and I didn't...yikes."

Tenzou shifted slightly in discomfort, staring at his toes. "Uh...well. I guess...it doesn't matter. I mean, you've already kind of...and...you know...yah..."

Kakashi covered his face with his hands. No big deal. Run off on him, see him unwillingly naked, you know. All in a days work. Trauma 101.

"Sorry..." he murmured through his hands. "I'm fucking up a lot today."

The tension in Tenzou's body melted. He hesitated slightly before he took a step forward, trying to look confident. "It's really okay, Senpai."

Slowly Kakashi pulled his hands down from his face. Tenzou was smiling at him, very hesitantly and still unsure, but he didn't look uncomfortable or hurt. He looked radiant, actually. Kakashi couldn't believe how attracted he was to Tenzou, but if you stopped to take a look at him, it made a damn lot of sense. Tenzou looked healthy and strong despite his small size, his physique betraying his skill as a ninja. His hair formed a dark little halo around him as it draped over his shoulders and clung to his still-glistening skin. His large, beautiful eyes and tiny, sweet smile were irresistible.

"Senpai...?"

Kakashi blinked. Oh. How long had he just been standing there staring at him?

"Uh. Sorry."

Tenzou laughed lightly. "I've never heard you apologize so much."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I rarely feel like this big of an idiot."

With his little smile firmly in place Tenzou took another, much more confident, step forward. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Ah..." Kakashi began, his frazzled mind completely forgetting about his original intentions of returning. "Right. I just wanted to apologize, yet again, but this time for earlier. I'm sorry if my leaving hurt you. Really."

Tenzou shook his head lightly, his gaze returning downwards. "I understand."

"Tenzou..."

He glanced up, his cheeks still heavily flushed. It seemed intimate conversations weren't that easy for him, either. "I think I need a bit of time to process everything. It's...been a lot for me. It must be a lot for you, too. Don't be afraid if I'm a little more distant with you than I have been for the past bit. It isn't worth hurting you, rushing things..."

At Tenzou's fearful glance Kakashi quickly placed his hands on his shoulders. "No, please don't look like that. It isn't...I'm not trying to push you away. I don't want that. But, I need to do this properly. Whenever I think I hurt you it...hurts me, too. Tenzou."

That brought a bright little smile to his kouhai's face. Instinctively he leaned in closer to Kakashi, his bare chest so close the copy-nin could feel the heat coming from his body. "Okay, Senpai."

"Okay..." Kakashi confirmed. His hands, of their own accord, slid under Tenzou's jaw, his thumbs caressing his cheeks. "I've...never wanted anyone like I want you, Tenzou. Please believe that."

"You want me?" Tenzou whispered.

Kakashi felt his pants tighten uncomfortably.

"Oh yes..." Kakashi breathed, his hands making their way to Tenzou's hips, his bare, soft hips...

Wait. Bare?

Kakashi looked down.

The towel was around Tenzou's ankles.

He swallowed. Oh.

Tenzou's nakedness didn't seem to shame him at that moment. He moved closer to Kakashi, their groins pressing together. They were both hard. Kakashi tried to blink away the fogginess in his head. Didn't he just agree that he needed to take it slow?

"I want you too, Senpai..." Tenzou admitted with a light, shaky voice. His eyes were shining. "I..feel it. Especially now. I'm hot all over and I just want-"

"Oh God, Tenzou, stop..." Kakashi moaned, closing his eyes. This was the opposite of how this conversation was supposed to go. "You're killing me. I...can't."

Tenzou blinked, as if he was snapping back to himself. "Oh...right. Of course." His shyness seemed to return to him as he stepped away from Kakashi. When the copy-nin dared to open his eyes again, Tenzou was towel-clad and looking sheepish.

Kakashi almost punched his second hole in the wall in 24 hours.

Naked Tenzou throwing himself at him.

Too much of a scared idiot to do anything about it.

Why

_Why_

_WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY._

"I...should go." Kakashi said through gritted teeth and much self-loathing. "Before I do something bad."

Tenzou's eyes flicked down before they shot back up to Kakashi's. "Should I assist you first?"

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out Tenzou was referring to Kakashi's raging erection. God damnit.

"Ah. No, thank you. I've already thrown a kunai into my foot several times this evening; I'll take care of it myself."

Kakashi took a deep, cleansing breath, then smiled as best as he could at his kouhai. "I'll see you soon, Tenzou. Have a good night."

Tenzou nodded and smiled back. Kakashi couldn't bare to just leave him like that. He leaned forward and placed a soft, long, chaste kiss to his kouhai's lips. Kakashi could smell his sweet, freshly cleaned skin all around him and it drove him insane. When he broke away, Tenzou looked happy, which is what Kakashi hoped. That he wouldn't take his scuttling away personally.

"Good night, Senpai." Tenzou whispered.

When Kakashi reappeared inside his apartment he wrung his hair in frustration and actually whimpered.

_Hottest_ moment of his life and he was just like "yahkaybyethanks"

UGHHHHHHH.

Once again, Kakashi threw himself onto his bed. He ripped down his pants and grasped his painfully hard erection. He squeezed his eyes shut, mouth parted, as he remembered Tenzou just moments before. Arms around him, eyes pleading, naked.

_I want you too, Senpai..._

_I just feel hot all over..._

"Ah..." Kakashi gasped, hissed as he stroked himself. Tenzou, fresh out of the shower. Moaning his name.

_I want you, Senpai..._

_S-senpai!..Ah...Ah!_

Kakashi moaned loudly and came all over his chest. His arms fell to the side as he panted, his eyes still shut. Only _he_ would abandon someone telling them they wanted him to go home and jerk off by himself.

Those therapy sessions better start working a little faster.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


	10. Chapter 10

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"NO WAY. Kakashi's _dating_ someone?" Kurenai exclaimed as she reached for Gai across the table in her excitement.

Gai leaned back just in time to avoid his friend's eager grip. "Yes! Great news, isn't it? It shows wonderful progress!"

"And you say you've seen Kakashi _three_ times this week?" Asuma added, his own eyes wide with surprise.

"Not just that; HE has come to ME!"

Kurenai and Asuma turned to each other with the same stunned expressions. Asuma's cigarette hung from the bottom of his lip precariously from how long his mouth had been hanging open.

"I am most certain this person he's with is the reason he has suddenly opened up. I can just see his heart warming more and more with each passing day!" Gai leaped onto the table and threw his arms out wide, large hearts in his eyes. "It is magical! It is fateful!"

"It's unbelievable." Asuma murmured. "I really gotta meet this chick."

Gai turned red and pretended not to hear Asuma's comment.

"She must be beautiful. Or...really talented. Or maybe really sweet? All three of them? I just can't picture her." Kurenai wondered aloud.

"I feel like he likes chicks with long, brown hair."

"Really? Where did you get that impression?" Kurenai asked with slight scepticism as her male companion stroked the sparse stubble on his chin.

Asuma chuckled and crossed his arms. "It's just a man instinct, Kurenai. I can't explain it."

Said ninja did not look impressed. "You mean a guess?"

Asuma scrunched his nose in annoyance. "No, not a _guess_. I just know."

His response was an exaggerated eye roll. Gai coughed loudly in an attempt to change the conversation. It backfired as both his friends turned to him with the echoed expression that they'd just found the answer to their problems.

"Wait. He must have told you something about her, Gai. What did he say?" Kurenai asked while Asuma nodded vigorously.

Gai laughed really, really loudly and waved them both off. "OH! Why, I just couldn't say! I mean, it's Kakashi's business, after all!"

The looks he received from Kurenai and Asuma told them they were not buying his excuse for half a second.

"You already told us he was seeing someone. Isn't that technically his business, too?" Asuma responded flatly.

Gai wrung his hands and bit his lip. Kakashi would probably gut him and use his insides as lining for his kunai pouch if he told the others that Kakashi was seeing Tenzou. And rightfully so, as it wasn't the most usual of situations. Gai had never actually known anyone to be attracted to another man. He didn't know how common it was.

"Ah. Well, I can tell you some things. Kurenai, from what I know of Kakashi's...sweetheart, all of the things you mentioned are correct; sweet, talented and attractive. OH! And, Asuma was also correct; long brown hair."

"HA!" Asuma crowed, flashing Kurenai a blatant, winning grin. "What did I say?"

She sighed in resignation. "Yes, Asuma. Your "man instinct" was right. Congratulations."

Asuma continued to grin to himself as Kurenai shook her head and Gai sent prayers of thanks to the heavens.

"So, Gai." Kurenai started, eager to redirect the conversation. "Do you think we'll ever meet her?"

It was a good thing Gai was a trained ninja or he'd have a really hard time keeping a straight face during this conversation.

"Oh...I'd say so."

His friends looked shocked once again. "Really? You think he'd introduce us?" she responded.

Gai grinned.

"I guarantee it."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi sighed as he opened their brand new missions scroll and read through the contents. He was kind of considering asking for vacation time. Except that he didn't want to go on vacation if it meant Tenzou would be on missions without him.

Life was so complicated.

Not even getting into the fact that he _wanted to ask for vacation time_. Kakashi never took a break from work; ever. It was all he was.

And now, it wasn't. He had other commitments.

A shiver wracked his body, forcing him to control himself not to crinkle the scroll in his hand.

_Calm the hell down, Self. I get it; people are scary. No need to ruin government property._

But, the idea kept bouncing around in his noggin. What if he just took a weeks vacation? He'd been in ANBU for_ years_ without ever asking for anything. How hard could it be to let him off the hook for one measly week? Sometimes they went half that time without a mission anyway. The really difficult part was Tenzou; Kakashi didn't want a break unless he knew Tenzou would have one as well. They were two of the most talented people on their team, with two of the most unique skill sets in ANBU. Would it be possible? He'd never asked, so he had no idea.

_Hiruzen seems determined to cure me of my insanity, so maybe he'd be willing to arrange something..._

As Kakashi walked to the locker room where his team was waiting, he couldn't help but mull it over. A week to just relax, think about things, and spend whatever amount of time with Tenzou he felt comfortable with. No obligations, no threats. Just...living. What in the world would that be like?

It sounded amazing.

When Kakashi arrived in the locker room chatter died down instantly. Everyone awarded him with a smile and a greeting, including Tenzou, who was polishing his sword at the back of the room. Kakashi had to force himself to push his excitement at the idea of vacation to the back of his mind and get to business, but seeing Tenzou's cheerful face made it harder.

"Yo. We have a new mission. It's pretty straight forward, but still risky. Double assassination with protection thrown into the mess." Kakashi explained as he wiggled the scroll before his team.

"Ugh. Double assassination...but it's Tuesday." One of their more vocal teammates groaned.

"What's the big deal about Tuesday?" Another asked.

"Too close to Monday..."

"It doesn't make a difference way day we're _assigned _the mission, Rio, you idiot..."

"What if we have to leave right away? Don't get snippy with me."

"Wow, will the two of you shut up? You're interrupting Kakashi-taichou." 

Kakashi let his team playfully bicker with each other for a few more moments before he cleared his throat loudly. Everyone respectfully went silent.

"We're leaving tomorrow. Does anyone have a particular aversion to Wednesday's?"

No one spoke, but a few people sent amused glances Rio's way, whom the comment was obviously aimed at.

"Great. We'll have an official mission debrief in about three hours when I think of a plan. Do what you like until then."

Everyone saluted him and chattered away as they slowly milled out of the locker room. Tenzou had been characteristically silent in the back of the room, and as of yet, had not left his spot. Kakashi hoped he was waiting around to talk. Now that his duties had been fulfilled, his mind was on vacation again. One of his teammates stuck around to ask him some questions about jutsu's, and when he finally left, Tenzou and Kakashi were alone together.

Slowly, Kakashi made his way to Tenzou, assuming what he thought was a casual stance beside the locker next to him. Tenzou glanced up at him right away, his usual smile in place.

"Good afternoon, Senpai."

"Mm." Kakashi answered softly. Now that he was moments away from asking about it, he felt a little bit of sweat accumulate on the back of his neck. He wasn't sure if he was ready to ask Tenzou to join him in anything, even if he made it clear that they wouldn't be spending the entire week together. Now that he was going to voice it, he wasn't sure he wanted a vacation, either. Too many new, scary things happening together at once. He must have looked like an idiot standing there staring at Tenzou because the mokuton user began to look concerned.

"Has something happened?"

"Ah..." Kakashi started, jostled out of his thoughts. "No. Sorry. I was just...going to suggest something. I wanted to see what you thought about it."

Tenzou gently put his sword down and turned so his entire body was facing Kakashi. He smiled supportingly, but stayed silent. Kakashi felt something melt in his chest at the sight.

"I was thinking of taking a week long vacation."

Tenzou stood straighter, his face brightening, his eyes wide and excited. "I think that's a great idea, Senpai!"

Kakashi blinked. "Yeah?"

"Yes, definitely! You deserve it."

A warm smile spread across Kakashi's face. It was hidden by his mask, but it was still clear that he was smiling. "Good. Because I wanted you to take a vacation, too."

Tenzou blushed faintly, looking slightly confused. "Me? Why?"

Suddenly, Kakashi had no idea what to say. He realized his reasons for wanting Tenzou to 'vacation' with him were completely ridiculous and obviously totally romantic. There was also a chance Tenzou would be offended. Kakashi had already worried him by adjusting the mission so Tenzou was out of danger; perhaps he would feel that Kakashi didn't trust his skills. He needed another reason.

"You're...a big part of my recovery, Tenzou..." Kakashi admitted quietly, unable to look at his subordinate as he did so. "It would make me feel better to know you're around. I hope that's alright."

When Tenzou's eyes filled with affection Kakashi felt a jab to his gut. He was such an incorrigible prick. Not that he was lying at all, not even slightly. But he wasn't telling Tenzou the truth in terms of his question, and he was answering in a way he knew would appease his kouhai. Maybe some day he'd learn to just be square with people, but today clearly wasn't that day.

"Of course it's alright, Senpai. I've already agreed to help you." Tenzou whispered.

It made Kakashi feel that much worse that Tenzou was so genuinely eager to adjust his life to assist his captain. Well...he'd make it up to him, Kakashi set his mind on it.

"Great. Next time I see Hiruzen, I'll ask him if it's possible. I don't think we've been that busy lately."

Tenzou seemed shy and nervous as he fiddled with the hem of his chest guard. "He wants you to recover, Senpai. He will help you, too."

Kakashi's eyes softened as he looked down at Tenzou. The word 'irresistible' kept coming to his head. There was just something about Tenzou that he couldn't shake, couldn't resist. He wondered suddenly on his conversation with Gai; if it was unusual for him to be feeling this way about Tenzou instead of a girl. The only thing feminine about Tenzou was his hair, and perhaps his large eyes. The rest of the time his lean, toned male body was on clear display, and there was nothing feminine about his habits. Not to mention the fact that Tenzou very much had male _parts_ that Kakashi thoroughly enjoyed handling. He wondered if this was supposed to explain the reason why he'd never had a crush on a girl when he was younger, or if there was just something special about Tenzou specifically.

Unfortunately for Kakashi, he was so socially inept that there was no way he'd know the answer to that question for a very long time.

At Kakashi's silence, Tenzou continued the conversation. "What did you want to do during your vacation, Senpai?"

Now Kakashi was back to feeling guilty. How was he supposed to tell Tenzou that while he wanted him to take an entire week off of work, he didn't actually plan on spending that entire week with him? It seemed selfish and slightly cruel, especially in Tenzou's case. He had no other friends to spend his newly acquired time with.

Then, a lightbulb went off.

Wait..._yes,_ he did. Kakashi had already convinced himself that he wanted to introduce Tenzou to his classmates. To give him a life outside of ANBU. This was _perfect_.

"I have a task for you, Tenzou. I'm not sure if you'll like it at first, but it will be good for you." Kakashi began, noting Tenzou's look of slight discomfort.

"Ah...alright."

"I want you to get to know my classmates. Would you do that?"

Tenzou's mouth fell open ever so slightly and the flush on his cheeks deepened.

Kakashi wanted to bring him into his life? To know his friends?

"Really?"

Kakashi chuckled softly, pushing off from the lockers and taking a step closer to Tenzou. "Yes. You deserve to have more than just this organization and missions, Tenzou. You're very easy to get to know and to like; that shouldn't be wasted."

Tenzou's little smile eased the guilt in Kakashi's heart. "Thank you, Senpai. You're very considerate. I'll do as you recommend."

Kakashi sat next to Tenzou, folding his hands in his lap, but not breaking eye contact with his friend. "You've already met Gai, Kurenai and Asuma. But, I have other...friends." Kakashi added with hesitance, suddenly feeling like he didn't deserve to give them that title. He couldn't remember the last time he talked to Hayate, Genma, Raidou...any of them. He was a horrible classmate. But, maybe he could save Tenzou from the same loneliness he'd put on himself. "Gai is incredibly social. I'll bring you to him for a few days during the week, so he can take you to them."

Tenzou's nose scrunched slightly as confusion registered on his face. "You aren't going to introduce me, Senpai?"

Kakashi stared at the ceiling.

"Ah...well. I have some things to do, so I figured it would be best if Gai did it."

Tenzou's expression flattened. "What do you have to do?"

Kakashi twiddled his thumbs and tried not to look guilty. "Oh, you know. Errands. Home repairs..."

He could literally feel Tenzou's unimpressed, narrowed-eyed stare boring into the side of his face.

"Senpai. You're supposed to be spending time with your friends."

"I have been; I've seen Gai three times this week." Kakashi added weakly.

Tenzou's expression did not falter. "What about everyone else?"

"Maaaa." Kakashi breathed, waving Tenzou off with a few weak flicks of his wrist. "That's a little too much for me; I'm fragile."

Kakashi could not once remember a time when Tenzou had looked at him like he was a hopeless idiot. At least now he knew what it looked like.

"I'm not meeting them unless you're with me, Senpai." Tenzou added flatly, but firmly.

_Damnit_.

Why couldn't Tenzou just be cute and docile and unbending to his every whim?

It was going to be _so_ painfully awkward trying to hang out with those guys again when he'd avoided them for so long. Especially Genma; he had a big mouth.

"Alright..." Kakashi muttered, not bothering to hide his frustration and unwillingness to comply.

It took a second, but Tenzou's expression changed and his soft smile returned. "I think it'll be great."

Kakashi shot him a pouty glare.

"Loads of fun."

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"A...vacation?" Hiruzen asked, his mouth opening slightly in shock. Smoke freely billowed out of his mouth, his pipe forgotten.

"Ah. Yes." Kakashi answered, slightly uncomfortable because he knew how odd the request was. "I also..." He closed his eyes, preparing to basically admit to Hiruzen that something was going on between him and his kouhai. "...Would like it if Tenzou could have the same time off."

Hiruzen stared.

He stared.

He grinned.

"Ah. Well, I have never done it before, but I'm certain someone could cover the two of you. What would be significantly less telling, though, would be me quietly taking your entire team off the roster so no new missions would come to them for the week. Less questions, you see."

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly. He gazed at Hiruzen, his face a mixing pot of all kinds of surprise. That was a very generous thing to do. Especially because the reason was so ridiculous; hiding his and Tenzou's relationship from his team. Hiruzen was a very kind man, and his affection for Kakashi was obvious.

"It would not cause conflicts with incoming missions...?"

Hiruzen guffawed. "No, no. You picked an excellent time to ask. If anything serious does come up, of course we will have to call you back. But I am confident that shall not happen."

With a slight lump in his throat, Kakashi placed his hand over his heart and bowed as low to Hiruzen as he could. He hoped his gratitude would shine through, as deeply as he felt it.

"Thank you." He breathed.

Hiruzen chuckled and placed a warm, firm hand on Kakashi's shoulder.

"You deserve it, Kakashi."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The strategy meeting went by as easily as any strategy meeting could. The mission was more or less straight forward, but it required the team being split up, which obviously bothered Kakashi. It made no sense to put him and Tenzou together since they were both excellent at stealth and scouting; they needed to be spread out between the two halves of the team. Besides, and as insulting as it seemed to his other teammates, he trusted Tenzou to watch out for all of them. His kouhai was almost an extension of himself when it came to how much he could rely on him.

He felt a small pang in his heart as he thought about it.

Kakashi closed the meeting by asking for questions, and when there were none, everyone scattered. Tenzou stayed behind, as he normally did, to talk to Kakashi. The mokuton user was playfully slapped on the shoulder, patted on the head or otherwise manhandled by his teammates as they said their goodbyes for the day. The room was soon silent, with only the two friends inside.

"Are you set for the mission tomorrow, Tenzou?" Kakashi asked as he rolled up one of the mission layout scrolls.

"Yes, Senpai. As usual, you've come up with an excellent strategy."

Normally, Kakashi blew off compliments like it was his job. But lately, anything Tenzou said to him affected him more than usual. He felt himself glowing slightly with pride at Tenzou's approval.

"It's alright. I would have preferred to keep the team together." Kakashi added, finding he could not look at Tenzou as he said so. As if his subordinate would be able to see right through him if he did.

"I think splitting us up made the most sense." Tenzou answered casually as he leaned against the table next to Kakashi. "We should be safer that way, too. We'll attract less attention."

"That's what I was hoping."

Silence fell between them as Kakashi struggled with what to say. Tenzou seemed to notice his tension. He leaned in slightly, his wide eyes concerned.

"What's wrong, Senpai?"

"Nothing." Kakashi answered quickly with a smile, feeling foolish for being so worried. "I got our vacation time."

Tenzou's expression brightened instantly. "That's great!...Isn't it?"

"Yes, Tenzou. I'm happy."

It looked like his kouhai saw clearly that he wasn't, but didn't have time to argue as one of their teammates came bursting back into the room.

"I'm SUCH a jackass!" He exclaimed, smacking his forehead. "Happy birthday, Tenzou! Damn, can't believe I forgot."

Kakashi dropped the scroll.

_What?_

Tenzou smiled warmly. "It's alright, Sao-san. I'm still getting used to it, myself. Thank you."

Kakashi stood there in horror. So much horror, in fact, that Sao noticed right away and looked instantly awkward. Clearly, he hadn't been the only one to forget.

"Ah...aaaaanyway, the team's gonna bring you a little 'surprise' on Thursday after the mission, so be ready!"

Tenzou laughed lightly and blushed. "You don't have to do that..."

"'Course we do! We've got to bring Tenzou to his sweet 16 in style!" Sao cackled. He popped out of the room almost as quickly as he came, noticing Kakashi's increasing horror and not wanting to be anywhere near his team captain in an obviously fast approaching state of vulnerability.

A large bead of sweat dripped down Kakashi's forehead.

Damnit! What day was today?

It was the 10th of August...

Oh.

FACK.

It was totally Tenzou's "birthday", the one HE had helped him pick. Kakashi had completely forgotten. Not only was today his birthday, but it was the anniversary of him leaving Root and joining ANBU. The anniversary of his name. Their TEAM remembered enough to plan something for him, and _he_ hadn't.

Slowly, Kakashi turned to Tenzou. He masked none of his utter embarrassment.

"Tenzou...I'm sorry." He murmured, fidgeting awkwardly. Kakashi couldn't remember the last time he'd felt obligated to remember some kind of social event, to the point where he wasn't even sure how to act when one forgot.

A little shrug and a smile was Tenzou's answer. "It's alright, Senpai. It's not a big deal."

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. Tenzou hadn't had a single birthday up until his ANBU days; he deserved every single one he got from this point on. He knew Tenzou didn't care because he hadn't had the privilege up until now, but he should care. Kakashi was getting really sick and tired of being such a shitty human being. If no one had reminded him, would he have forgotten right up until next year? Would he have remembered when he happened to glance at a calendar? And if he forgot, how would that have made Tenzou feel? Everyone else basically being like "so glad you're alive!" except for Kakashi? Maybe it wouldn't have fazed him at all. But what if it had?

"Birthdays are to celebrate a persons existence. I'm very grateful for you, so I should help you celebrate. I promise I'll make it up to you. Okay?"

At first, Tenzou seemed embarrassed that Kakashi was so embarrassed about his slip up. But, there was something else slowly clouding Tenzou's eyes that Kakashi noticed as soon as it appeared. It seemed to only take a few moments for his face to transform from bashful, to something else.

And all of a sudden, it was clear as day. Tenzou was overwhelmed. He stared at the ground, winging his hands together slightly. It seemed like he didn't know what to say. It pained Kakashi to think that no one had ever celebrated Tenzou in the 13 years he'd been alive before meeting Kakashi. No one had ever told him they cared. Kakashi had lots of people who cared, but he'd taken them for granted. Whenever he thought of himself, it just made him cringe. Why anyone gave him the time of day was mind boggling.

Kakashi ripped down his mask, grasped Tenzou's face in his hands and kissed him. His heart clenched when he could feel a quiver in his kouhai's lips. Tenzou seemed to run out of breath faster than usual, his chest heaving when Kakashi pulled away. It looked as if he might cry, his eyes glistening with emotion. Kakashi wanted to hurt something for the way Tenzou looked at that moment.

"What is it?" Kakashi whispered, still holding Tenzou's face.

"I..." Tenzou started, sucking in a quick breath as his throat closed. "I'm just so grateful...to finally have real companions. I didn't know what I was missing. To think...people celebrate someone's birth their whole life. It's wonderful."

Oh God.

Kakashi felt like the filthiest, scummiest, most pathetic excuse for a human being on the planet. He'd literally scoffed at the idea of celebrating his birthday for years, and here was someone who cherished it so much he could barely keep from crying. Kakashi yanked Tenzou forward and pressed him to his chest. Instantly, Tenzou's arms flew around him, hugging him with such fever Kakashi was barely able to control his own emotions. He ran his hands through Tenzou's hair and held him silently.

As the moments ticked by, Kakashi could literally feel the warmth from Tenzou blanket his own body. It was such a nice feeling, to hold him like this. Tenzou's breathing had calmed almost instantly, his grip on the back of Kakashi's shirt loosening. But they remained embraced, enjoying one another. It was so simple, but exquisite.

Naturally, Kakashi had to ruin it.

"You know..." he murmured. "16 _is_ the age of consent in Konoha."

Tenzou lifted his face from Kakashi's chest, looking up at him in innocent confusion. "Consent to what?"

Kakashi glanced away as he pretended to ponder. "Actually...it may be 14."

Tenzou pulled at his shirt. "Consent for what, Senpai?"

"Nothing..."

Tenzou looked slightly annoyed. "Just tell me."

"Nooothinnngggg." Kakashi sang.

"Senpai..."

"Look at that weird stain on the wall..."

"_Senpai_!"


	11. Chapter 11

SORRY for the loooong time in between updates! Life's been pretty nuts lately, so it's been hard to find time to sit down and write something I'm happy with. BUT, here it is! ENJOY!

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi stared himself in the mirror and sighed for the fiftieth time.

_You can do this, Kakashi. People quake at the mention of your name. You've got horror stories warning of your return that are meant to scare children into behaving. Being social should **not** be this difficult or this stressful._

Slowly, he massaged calming circles into his temples. He couldn't believe Tenzou had tricked him into doing this. Kakashi_ always_ smooth talked his way out of everything, so why hadn't he tried to back then? Maybe he wanted to see if he could do it. Maybe deep down he really wanted friends.

_Pshh. I just couldn't stand Tenzou looking at me like I'd failed._

_Must remember to do something shitty to him to make up for being slightly whipped. Oh, wait. I forgot about his birthday. I guess that'll do._

Kakashi conveniently pushed aside the fact that he actually felt really bad about forgetting and still intended to make it up to Tenzou. With one final sigh, he pushed his forehead protector over the coveted Sharingan, pulled up his mask and strolled out of his bathroom.

He was supposed to meet Tenzou at the ramen stand (the only place he knows in Konoha, poor thing) around ten minutes ago but was late on purpose out of spite. It made him even more frustrated that he felt horrible about being late. He never felt horrible about being late; it's what he DID.

The mission they'd planned just before their vacation had gone very well, as was usual for their team. Tenzou had lead his half of their comrades with ease and skill. Separately, they had done what they needed to do, and come together at just the right moment to finish the mission off. Kakashi wrote a very easy and dramaless mission report, and then they were free to do as they pleased for a week. He felt slightly stupid for being such an emotional wreck about the idea of Tenzou being on his own, but he was near accepting that the mokuton user had a very different affect on him than anyone else he'd met.

It didn't take him long to spot Tenzou resting against the side of the ramen stand, watching the crowd with barely concealed awe. It looked like he was enthralled by some kind of off-the-wall fireworks show from the way his eyes seemed to glisten, yet it was merely the everyday antics of the citizens of Konoha. It made Kakashi feel like a heel for the millionth time that month. If nothing else, Tenzou served as a constant reminder to Kakashi of what he took for granted.

"Yo." Kakashi greeted with his usual welcoming smile. It seemed like Tenzou had a hard time tearing his gaze away from the crowd, but once he did, his attention was all Kakashi's.

"Senpai! I wasn't excepting it to be so busy."

"It's the weekend." Kakashi began as he sidled up beside his kouhai. "Most people do their shopping now, when they aren't tired from work."

Tenzou blinked a couple of times. "Do...people not work on the weekend?"

At first Kakashi was stupified as to how anyone could not understand the concept of weekends. He then remembered that Tenzou had no memories before being a Root agent, a group of people who's schedule in no way had anything to do with the days of the week. "Many people don't, but not everyone. It depends what job they have."

"Ah..." Tenzou responded looking not at all confident in his understanding of 'jobs' and 'weekends'. Kakashi decided it wasn't that important, especially since they were late meeting Gai.

"I'll tell you all about it later, Tenzou. We should find Gai."

No sooner had the name of his friend left Kakashi's lips than they heard an ominous roar from behind them.

"_FRIENDS_!"

A green streak flashed past them so fast Tenzou's hair nearly tangled around Kakashi's neck. The copy-nin dodged the vicious brown locks as Gai came to a grinding halt a few feet past them.

"I anticipated your late arrival, Kakashi, and have come to YOU instead!"

"Thanks." Kakashi deadpanned as he brushed dust off his arms.

"H...hello again, Gai-san." Tenzou greeted somewhat meekly. Kakashi wasn't sure if he was nervous now that he knew he'd be meeting more of Kakashi's friends, or if some of his equilibrium had been thrown off by the gravitational impact of Gai's entrance.

"TENZOU! Very good to see you! I'm certain the others will be happy to meet your acquaintance." Gai bellowed as he gripped Tenzou's hand and shook it violently. Just a moment later, Gai yanked Tenzou close and energetically motioned for Kakashi to join them in their huddle. With a light sigh, Kakashi scooched over and leaned forward slightly.

"Ah. I have...told them you were 'intimate' with someone, Kakashi, but have not told them that the identity of your beau was Tenzou-"

A little squeak sounded from the unsuspecting mokuton user, but Gai continued none-the-less.

"-so, however you want to deal with that situation is up to you."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Told them, did you?"

"HAHAHAHAHA. Yes. Sorry about that, my rival. The news was just to great not to share!"

Despite Gai's bright, large, toothy smile, Kakashi's dead, unimpressed stare did not waver.

"Last time I tell you anything."

Before Gai could argue familiar voices began to drift into their range of hearing. To his embarrassment, Kakashi felt anxiety twist his stomach. He could make out Genma's voice, and Hayate. Those two had almost as few verbal hesitations as he did. It was probably a sign of how deeply ashamed of himself he was that he feared retribution from his less understanding classmates.

"And then I was like -well, _you're_ the one who said we were dating. Right? I mean, she said it."

"Uh-" cough "-huh..."

"And then she was like -well, you're the one who said you didn't want commitment. Which I totally never said. I mean, who says that? No one does."

Hayate cleared his throat to show he was listening. Genma continued to ramble on about his girl troubles until the two shinobi stopped dead in their tracks upon seeing the elusive sharingan ninja.

"Holy crap." Genma gasped. "Is that _actually _Kakashi?"

"AHAHA!" Gai exclaimed, jumping in between the new group of ninja and the ANBU shinobi. "I promised, didn't I?"

"Hey, Kakashi." Hayate greeted with little enthusiasm.

Kakashi lifted his hand and gave a little wave. "Yo."

"What the hell have you been up to, you dick? I haven't seen you in like two years." Genma asked accusingly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

The only response Kakashi could think of was to shrug. "Ninja stuff."

Genma stared at him like he was the dumbest person he'd ever seen. "OHMEEGOSH. Ninja stuff? Nooooo waaaay. That is like, so totally what half the people in this village are up to on a daily basis."

Tenzou pretended to sneeze to cover his snort of laughter. Kakashi pretended not to notice.

"Yah. Ninja stuff."

The tension that had slowly accumulated in the air was beginning to become palpable. Genma held his ground and so did Kakashi, the two of them staring each other down, one defiant and one stubbornly emotionless.

Tenzou bravely decided to cut the tension himself. He swallowed quietly before stepping forward and extending his hand to Genma. "Hello. My name is Tenzou, I'm a friend of Kakashi's."

The other ninja blinked furiously at the unexpected interruption of his stare-down. Upon seeing the hand in front of him, he gaped silently for a moment before taking it. "Uh. Well, hi? Where did you come from? I've never seen yah around before."

"I switched departments." Was Tenzou's lame answer.

At Genma's eyebrow raise Gai laughed loudly once again and stepped up to the pair. "Yes, he has been hidden away for quite a while doing 'secretive things'. You know how the village can be. Anywho, since he's been given the green light to flounce around the village, Kakashi and I thought he could get to know the rest of us!"

Genma and Hayate exchanged a brief look of confusion. Kakashi had disappeared for two years and reappeared with a little friend who did 'secretive things'? None of it made any damn sense, but that was Kakashi for you.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Hayate." The sickly ninja greeted in a way of agreeing to Gai's suggestion.

Tenzou smiled and bowed slightly to the pair of new ninjas, just as another came up behind them.

"Wow, Kakashi!" Raidou exclaimed from behind Genma. "I had a feeling you were still alive, but didn't have visual evidence to prove it."

Kakashi sighed and tried not to look as embarrassed as he felt. "Hey."

He wondered if it would make things worse for himself if he just disappeared right now and avoided this entire situation.

"Who's this?" Raidou asked when he caught sight of Tenzou.

Uggghh.

"Kakashi's 'friend'" Genma responded, making little air quotations with his fingers.

Raidou looked confused for a moment before he took a longer look at Tenzou. "Ohhhh! Well, that's certainly a surprise! Nice to meet you, miss!" he exclaimed as he extended his hand to Tenzou. The mokuton user turned completely red and Kakashi sighed loudly.

"He's a he. His name is Tenzou."

Raidou's face fell and his complexion quickly matched Tenzou's. "U-uh...oh...s-sorry..."

"It's alright, it's happened before." Tenzou answered quietly as he shook Raidou's hand. "It's still nice to meet you."

Tenzou was answered with a friendly smile before Raidou whirled around and fired his deadliest death glare Genma's way. The other shinobi merely snorted loudly and grinned.

"Ah...WELL. So glad you all have met, as Kakashi was hoping Tenzou could spend some time with us, as he has very little experience in the village."

"Aww, _geeze_. You're abandoning your new friends, too?" Genma accused dramatically. "It's like you have a time period for how long you can stand people."

"Or just you." Kakashi snapped.

Gai and Tenzou looked horrified as Genma and Kakashi stared each other down for the second time in ten minutes.

"Weeeellll whyyy donntt weeeeee...get some sweet dumplings! Yes! Excellent! Dumplings?" Gai offered with gritted teeth and horribly concealed desperation. Everyone kind of looked at each other and shrugged. Hayate coughed.

Tenzou was starting to understand why Kakashi had been so hesitant to join him in meeting his friends.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The group sat together at a picnic table in thick, loaded silence. Tenzou had absolutely no idea what to say to try and bridge the situation, and it seemed for once, Gai was lost for words as well.

"Ah...so...what do you guys do in your spare time?" Tenzou attempted, although he _was_ curious as well.

"Pick up babes." Genma answered casually as he popped a dumpling into his mouth.

"Babes?" Tenzou asked in predictable confusion.

"Yeah! Chicks. I mean, there's really not much else to do around here except drink. Unfortunately, I am a working man, so drinking is confined to my days off."

"I guess training isn't an option." Kakashi deadpanned.

"Frigg off, Ice Queen." Genma retorted with flat venom. "Not everyone 'lives for the mission' like you do."

"Attempting a mission once in a while might not be a bad idea, though."

Genma stood quickly and glared down at Kakashi. "You insulting my work ethic, brother?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Gai leaped onto the table between the two of them as he laughed loudly enough to drown out any residual arguments. "Come, come! We are all classmates, aren't we? Yes, it has certainly been a while, but we can put all that behind us!"

Raidou, Hayate and Tenzou watched the livid shinobi eagerly for their responses, dumplings hanging mid air in their suspense.

Genma sighed loudly and placed his hands in his hips. "_Yeah_, I guess..."

Kakashi glanced down, his shoulders drooping slightly. "Sorry."

"Excellent!" Gai exclaimed as everyone else breathed a sigh of relief. "Now. I shall be happy to tell you what I do in my spare time, Tenzou! I have a very strict regime, actually. I must be strict if I am to improve myself to my greatest capacity!"

Tenzou chewed on a dumpling with wide-eyed interest as everyone else sighed and focused their attentions on anything else but Gai. "Really? Like what?"

Fifteen minutes later.

"...and THAT, my friend, is what I call "leg day"."

Three groans sounded around Tenzou as he nodded with interest. "Yes, I see. I really like some of the techniques you use."

"OKAY." Genma cut in, whipping his arms out as if to physically buffer any more talk from Gai. "I'm pretty sure my ears are bleeding, so can we please change the subject? Gai, for the love of everything, get a friggen hobby!"

"Or a life..." Raidou muttered.

Hayate coughed.

Kakashi was asleep.

Gai looked highly offended, but since he'd already described his routine in detail, he chose to spare his friends from his 'special workouts' for the time being. "Fine..."

"What about you, Tenzou? What's your story?" Raidou asked with a friendly smile.

All eyes suddenly turned on the mokuton user, who felt exposed and slightly nervous.

"Ah...is it rude if I say it's confidential?" He answered with obvious shame.

"I would use the word 'titillating' myself." Genma answered as he leaned across the table dramatically. "Are you some kind of secret ANBU experiment the Hokage is keeping under wraps? And Kakashi is your watchdog, forbidden from leaving your side in case someone tries to steal you away and unlock your secrets?"

Tenzou tried not to react, but Genma was actually slightly on the mark with his embellished guess.

"It wasn't exactly Hiruzen-sama..."

"AHA! Is the long hair and innocent demeanour just to throw off potential threats?"

Kakashi smacked Genma so hard on the back of the head that the brunette nearly smashed his forehead against the table.

"Oww!"

"Leave him alone." The jounin instructed with his usual carelessness.

"Come on, Genma. You're -_cough_- being a dick." Hayate murmured.

"Alright, alright...geeze." The offended shinobi muttered as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Perhaps we shall take Tenzou into the market one day and show him some of our favourite Konoha spots!" Gai suggested nervously. Kakashi looked like he was ready to flip the table and leave. Obviously, he wasn't exactly used to being in his classmates presence due to his long absence.

"I think that's great. Maybe tomorrow?" Raidou offered, clearly as eager to change the subject as Gai.

"I'll tell Kurenai and Asuma." Hayate added quietly.

"NOTTELLINGEBISUCALLEDIT!" Genma shouted. There was a flurry of movement at the table.

"CALLED IT!"

_COUGH_.

"CA- Drat!" Gai cursed, snapping his fingers. "I am always slow to catch onto those things..."

"What about Kakashi?" Raidou asked.

All eyes turned to him, including Tenzou's.

He shrugged.

"I'm not going."

Tenzou looked annoyed and the rest just sighed.

"Figures." Genma muttered.

"Whatever for, Kakashi?" Gai asked.

"Busy."

"Kakashi-senpai will be joining us at a later date. He's already told me he'll be happy to spend more time with everyone." Tenzou added.

Kakashi speared his kouhai with a deathglare, but the younger shinobi hardly seemed to notice. Everyone at the table was beaming at him with startled or pleased expressions.

"_Really_!"

"No shit...?"

"Excellent!"

"Yay."

"Yay indeed..." Kakashi added with a long sigh.

"Oh, by the way..." Tenzou interrupted with a confused blink. "Who is Ebisu?"

Silence followed the mokuton users question as the people at the table clearly tried their best not to snicker.

"No one important." Genma finally concluded with a grin.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After a few more minutes of mindless chatter, most of which consisted of ripping on poor Ebisu, the group decided it was time to part. Genma and Hayate returned from the direction they'd come in, and Raidou and Gai stuck around for another helping of dumplings.

The two ANBU began to stroll casually along the market. Kakashi waited a few moments after he and Tenzou parted from the rest of the group before he spoke.

"Traitor."

Tenzou turned to him in surprise. "What?"

"I'm only required to spend three days a week with friends. Of my choosing."

Tenzou took a tiny little breath, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Didn't you see how upset they were that you avoid them? Don't you care?"

Well.

Geeze.

Kakashi's defensiveness instantly melted. It amazed him how easily Tenzou could make him feel like a giant jackass.

"I...care..."

The level look his kouhai was piercing him with worried Kakashi. There was something more to it than just annoyance.

"Do you consider them your friends?"

"...Yes..."

"Aren't friends supposed to be there for each other?"

Kakashi exhaled loudly through his nose and stopped walking abruptly. "Tenzou. We've been over this."

"Your making excuses."

Anger surged through Kakashi's chest and clouded his vision. His eyes flicked back to his comrade, and they were hard. "Last time I checked, _I_ was the captain. You don't order me around."

"We're on vacation." Tenzou shot back defiantly.

Kakashi spun on his heel to fully face Tenzou, his anger now evident in his body language and the narrowing of his eyes. "If I decide I don't want to talk to anyone, it's my decision. I don't have to answer to you."

The coldness of Kakashi's words melted Tenzou's defence. "This isn't about answering to me, Senpai...it's not really about me at all."

"Then stay out of it." Kakashi snapped before he whirled around and stormed off.

Tenzou stared after him in shock. Perhaps he'd taken too many liberties with his captain, but...they'd just gotten so close in the last while that he'd gotten used to speaking his mind. There was a sharp pain hammering away at his heart that bothered him. It hurt for Kakashi to be angry. Tenzou took a calming breath before he steeled himself and turned around. He felt it was best he went to his own apartment and gave Kakashi his space.

Not the greatest start to their time off.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As soon as Kakashi stepped through his front door he nearly put a second hole in his wall.

God damnit.

The last thing he'd meant to do was take his frustrations out on Tenzou. But, he'd been right. Kakashi _was_ just making excuses, and he knew it. He didn't want to 'put himself out there', he didn't want to risk getting hurt, he didn't want to try to make nice with his classmates. He just wanted to exist in his cold, lonely world where things were easy. This new world had awkwardness, pain, risk...

Warmth.

He could just be with Tenzou and that was it, right? He'd already accepted the fact that he wasn't going to selfishly hurt him like he was tempted to do on multiple occasions. His fate was sealed, at least for now. Maybe Gai as well, because he'd already made an agreement with freakin' Ami. But everyone else...what did he need them for? Tenzou could whine all he wanted, but he'd give up eventually. Tenzou could be friends with them if he wanted. He could replace Kakashi. He'd be a much better friend, anyway. And he deserved it more than Kakashi did. Much more.

Sinking down onto his bed, Kakashi ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends. Why did he have to be so pathetic. Everyone else managed to have a proper social life without freaking out except for him. What was wrong with him?

No one else had lost _everyone _like he had.

So they could suck a dick.

Kakashi rolled over on his bed and stuffed his pillow onto his face. This scene seemed awfully familiar, as if it was a repeat performance. Kakashi had to admit, he had a pattern. Do something stupid to Tenzou, run back to his apartment, mope, and then run back to Tenzou.

Because, yes. He wanted to run back to Tenzou.

Interesting how he was struggling with isolation and codependency at the same time. Dissect THAT, Ami!

Now the real question was would he would ever learn his lesson.

Slowly sliding the pillow off of his face, Kakashi gazed at his ceiling as if it had all the answers he could ever need. If only he had had some kind of childhood. Very early on, he'd socialized with his classmates. But that was so long ago he could hardly remember it. Who remembered their lives when they were 5 or 6 years old? Most of his memories consisted of him being alone, or wanting to be alone.

But deep down, he'd wanted anything but to be alone. He hated his empty house. He hated his father for leaving him. For crippling him. For putting him on the wrong path, the path that got Obito killed.

Why would he want to go back to that life, the life where he ate all his meals alone, slept alone, cleaned alone...

Kakashi leaped off the bed and disappeared with a loud 'poof'.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tenzou had barely gotten his other shoe off before he yelped and leaped half a foot from the popping sound of someone teleporting next to him. Holding his shoe, gawking, he stared at Kakashi who gazed at him bashfully in return.

"Sorry."

"Uh..." Tenzou answered, still looking shocked. "It's ok."

"I don't want to be alone."

The air thickened as the two stared at each other, Kakashi's eyes open and raw and Tenzou's large and emotional.

"You're not alone, Kakashi-senpai." Tenzou answered quietly.

Kakashi glanced down, seemingly unable to answer. His fists were clenched, his eyes shut. Kakashi looked like there was still some fight in him, a part that wanted to be closed off.

Slowly, Tenzou dropped his shoes and approached his captain. Kakashi didn't move, didn't blink. When he was almost toe to toe with the other jounin, Tenzou slowly raised his hands and gently placed them on the sides of Kakashi's face. Mismatched eyes opened to meet his, swimming with uncertainty and shame.

"It's okay, Senpai. You're friends are still there, and I'm here. It's surprising, but you haven't scared anyone off yet. You're never going to be alone."

Kakashi's chest heaved once and he seemed as if he was struggling to control himself. "But...I_ have_ been alone."

"I don't know everything about you, Senpai...but your classmates have known you since you were little, right? Maybe you only thought you were alone, but never were. They were always there for you to reach out to, weren't they?"

Kakashi jerked back slightly, as if Tenzou's statement had truly shocked him. Something inside Tenzou told him to hold firm, so he did. His hands did not move, and Kakashi stayed put.

"...I..."

"Senpai. When you're sad, your heart feels cold and empty. Right? That is a lonely feeling. I know it very well. But, it's just a feeling. It can control you, but that doesn't mean it's real. I don't know if you have ever truly been alone, even if you felt it in your heart. You just needed to take a better look around you."

Kakashi gripped Tenzou's hands as he dropped his gaze to the floor. His eyes had been glistening, as if he was about to cry. It was hard seeing Kakashi like this, but his captains reactions told Tenzou that his reasoning was correct. Difficult for Kakashi to accept, but correct.

"Tenzou..." Kakashi rasped. "I feel cold right now."

With a brilliant blush, Tenzou wrapped his arms around Kakashi's chest and hugged him as tightly as he could. He pressed his face into Kakashi's collar, squeezing, hoping this is what he needed. The response from the other ninja was instant, and Tenzou felt strong arms encircle him. He sighed at the comfort, the safety, the familiarity of Kakashi's embrace.

"I can't believe how warm you make me." Kakashi murmured into Tenzou's hair. The mokuton user almost sighed at the burning in his abdomen, the electricity flying through his veins. Kakashi made him react in ways he still couldn't believe. There was so much about life, about living, that he still didn't know.

"You make me warm, too..." Tenzou responded quietly. "All over my body. It's like I react to you..."

Kakashi smiled. "That's a different kind of warm. It's attraction; it's sensual."

It seemed Tenzou was destined to stay red faced for the majority of his life. He toyed with the fabric of Kakashi's shirt nervously. "I only feel it with you."

Tenzou felt Kakashi's fingers in his hair, over his scalp. His touch melted every muscle in Tenzou's body, the mokuton user unconsciously leaning into his captain.

"Thank you for staying by my side, Tenzou." Kakashi whispered.

Tentatively, Tenzou glanced up, his eyes betraying the depths of his attraction, the magnetic pull Kakashi had on him. "It makes me happy to be near you, Senpai."

For a moment, Kakashi was speechless. He didn't think he had the capacity to make anyone happy, since he couldn't even manage it for himself. The idea of him genuinely being so important to another person, especially to Tenzou, was scary. But...it was also strangely empowering. Like it gave him another reason to go on; to make someone happy, to be there for them. It made him feel useful. It made him feel human.

"You deserve to be happy, Tenzou."

Tenzou gently pursed his lips before he answered. "You know you deserve to be happy, too. Right, Senpai?"

Surprisingly, it only took a second for Kakashi to answer.

"Yes."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

YAY CHAPTER! LOL again, sorry for the long wait. I think the next chapter may be the last one, or at least, one of two last ones. It depends on how I feel things should go. Thanks everyone for your wonderful reviews, and I hope you've enjoyed the ride!


	12. Chapter 12

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I knew you were lying." Asuma yawned as he twirled a new cigarette between his fingers. Kurenai eyed it with distaste, but chose to squash her desire to smack it out of his hand.

"Apparently he's always late these days." Genma shrugged. "He'll be here. That Tenzou kid seemed pretty sure of it."

"He was surprisingly fun, actually." Raidou chimed in from his spot on the grass. "Tenzou I mean. We hung out with him a couple days ago, sans Kakashi. At first he seemed pretty meek, but once you get him going he's sharp as a kunai."

"And oh so adorable, ain't he?" Genma grinned wolfishly. "Figures Kakashi would ditch us for a pair of big, brown eyes."

"Oh, stop it." Kurenai sighed with a familiar annoyance. "He doesn't look like a girl."

"I totally thought he was a girl." Raidou admitted.

Hayate decided to break his silence then. "That's just because of Genma."

"Genma does not affect how I think, okay?" Raidou huffed.

Asuma paused in lighting his cigarette to chuckle around it in amusement. "You sound like your trying to convince yourself."

Laughter echoed around the group of friends, the only voice not present being Raidou's, as he was too busy out-blushing the absent Tenzou.

"Whatever..." the mortified shinobi muttered as he sunk a little lower in his seat.

Raidou was saved further humiliation by the arrival of the much debated couple. Kakashi and Tenzou appeared just before them, Kakashi looking like his usual calm self and Tenzou beaming them a cheerful little smile.

"Hey!" the mokuton user greeted as they approached the group. Kakashi wiggled his fingers in a casual salute.

"Well, I'll be damned." Asuma murmured around his cigarette with a grin. "I didn't think you'd show."

Kakashi put on an air of injury and pressed his hand to his heart. "I'm hurt."

"Senpai was just finishing grocery shopping. We were thinking of making dinner tonight!"

It was like someone ran through the crowd and smacked everyone across the face simultaneously. Tenzou had the sudden feeling that he should not have shared that particular piece of information. The stiffening of his Senpai beside him confirmed those fears.

"D'awwww." Genma, naturally, chimed in first. "Well that's just the darnd'est."

Before anyone else could make any further comments, Kurenai valiantly cut in. "That's wonderful. I wish I had someone to make dinner with."

Asuma sat up instantly. "What's so great about making dinner?"

A loud snicker erupted from Genma, who got a sizzling glare from Asuma in response.

"Women always like men who can cook." She replied airily.

Asuma seemed to seriously consider this information as Genma leaned forward, his impishness not diminished in the slightest.

"So. Is it true, Tenzou? Do you like men who can cook?"

It wasn't so much the question, but the fact that Tenzou actually considered the answer as if it was asked in complete seriousness that made Kurenai punch Genma solidly in the shoulder.

"_OWW_!"

"Don't answer that, darling." She instructed with a friendly smile. "You'll get used to Genma eventually."

"Probably not." Kakashi muttered.

Any further potential tension was eradicated at the usual flareful entrance of their last, exuberant friend.

"I AM HEREEEEEEEE!"

A green streak whizzed past everyone, exacting no responses from a single person in the vicinity. Even Tenzou had already gotten used to Gai's antics.

"I apologize for my lateness!" Gai gasped as he panted heavily, clearly having run the entire way. "I was strengthening my core, and could not bare to stop early!"

"No more talk about your core, please." Genma cut in. "You're disturbing dear Tenzou."

The mokuton user looked thoroughly confused, but Kakashi stepped in before he could enquire.

"Maaa. Are we just going to sit around all day?"

"It's called _socializing_, Kakashi." Genma bit back.

"It's overrated." Kakashi responded with disinterest.

Kurenai leaned forward and whispered into Genma's ear with obvious frustration. "Stop needling Tenzou, you're making Kakashi angry."

Genma blinked at his kunochi friend before turning to Kakashi and studying him for a moment. He heightened his shinobi senses and noticed with mild surprise that Kakashi's eyes were ever so slightly narrowed, his shoulders were stiff and some of the hair on the back of his neck was standing. Kurenai was definitely right.

"How the heck did you know that?" He whispered back.

Kurenai sighed. "I bothered to pay attention?"

Genma rubbed his chin thoughtfully and Kurenai turned her sights back on the ANBU pair before her.

"We were thinking of playing some dice, if you'd care to join?"

Tenzou's large, almond eyes lit up instantly. "What's that?"

"It's a strategy game, but it's still lots of fun. I can show you how to play." She responded with a bright smile at Tenzou's eagerness.

The little shinobi turned to Kakashi with such genuine excitement glistening in his eyes that Kakashi couldn't have said no to him if his Icha Icha book depended on it. Kakashi smiled warmly, which was all the indication Tenzou needed. He whirled back around to face Kurenai without his level of excitement diminishing in the slightest.

"Okay!"

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Turns out Tenzou was pretty damn smart.

Kurenai sat back in amazement as her last piece was pushed off the board for the third time. She liked to think she was pretty damn good at this game, but Tenzou essentially handed her own ass to her like she was born yesterday and had never had an independent thought in her life.

"You're...pretty good at strategy..." Kurenai murmured as she scratched her head in utter confusion.

Tenzou smiled and began to pile the pieces back into place neatly. "Thanks! I've had a lot of training."

That brought a metric ton of questions to Kurenai's head, but she politely refrained from asking any of them. Kakashi and Tenzou were being very secretive about Tenzou`s origins, and seeing as Kakashi was in ANBU, they probably had good reason to keep things quiet.

"Won again have you, Tenzou?" Kakashi asked as he turned from his conversation (one sided) with Gai. The group had kind of paired off after Kurenai and Tenzou faced off with their game. Genma, Raidou and Hayate were building a tower of dumpling sticks, Gai and Kakashi were talking about their next big rivalry match (Gai was) and Asuma was having a ball watching Kurenai get annihilated by Tenzou.

"Ah...yes, but Kurenai is really good, too. It was a difficult round!"

The kunochi couldn't help but wonder how Kakashi had managed to make such a charming, warm friend. He seemed impossible to get to these days, but Tenzou had managed it. Perhaps the shinobi had just needed to be left to his own devices, to heal on his own time.

"Eh. She's better at other things." Asuma chuckled.

Genma, never missing a cue, promptly cut in. "Oh yah? What _other_ things?"

Asuma realized the error of his wording and nearly choked on his cigarette.

"I'm assuming he's talking about my unparalleled skill with genjutsu?" Kurenai supplied, turning and sending Asuma such a heated death glare that Hayate shrivelled back behind him.

"A-actually, that's exactly what I meant. I forgot what company we were in..." Asuma corrected with obvious nervousness.

Genma 'tsked' and turned back to his dumpling-stick tower. "You two need to stop wasting time and just shack up already."

The two shinobi practically glowed neon red and glanced down at the ground quickly. Tenzou decided he needed to be careful about how he talked around Genma. The young man didn't miss a _thing_.

"Maaa. This has been...riveting. But we need to go." Kakashi yawned as he stretched and stood from his place beside Gai.

"Need plenty of time for your man-date, do yah?" Genma teased mercilessly.

Kakashi merely regarded Genma with his usual blank stare. "At least I have a date."

Raidou, Hayate and Gai snickered loudly. Genma actually pouted and focused his attention back on his art work. "Whatever..."

Kakashi gave a little mock bow to his friends and tapped Tenzou on his shoulder. The mokuton user, his blush bright enough to match Kurenai and Asuma's, slowly stood and tried to smile a goodbye to his game partner.

"It was great playing with you."

Kurenai returned his smile. "Yes, it was. We should do this again; I obviously need practice."

"That would be great!" Tenzou exclaimed, gaining a chuckle from the two ninja before him. Kakashi cleared his throat loudly and Tenzou scurried to catch up to him. Once they were walking beside each other, Tenzou twisted and sent a wave behind him to the group of ninja watching them walk away. He received a little wave back from everyone, most of them looking either confused or incredibly amused.

"I'm not sure what to think right now." Raidou mentioned casually as he waved goodbye.

"Well. Basically the cold, lone-wolf outcast is getting laid before Kurenai and Asuma. That is some sad shit." Genma commented brazenly.

Kurenai glared at Genma while Asuma merely blushed. "Can you stop?"

"You really think..." Raidou began, making some kind of motion with his hands. "That they're...you know..."

"Doin' it? Well, I don't _actually_ know. But they're something alright. Tenzou looks and sounds like he's 12, but he's got the mind of a 20 year old. So who friggen knows."

Gai pointedly did NOT join in on the conversation. He stared holes into the table he had been occupying with Kakashi, rightfully guessing that no one would pay him any mind.

"It doesn't matter what they're doing. You need to stop teasing them about it, because this is the most we've seen Kakashi in years."

Genma waved Kurenai off and finished placing the last stick on his Dumpling castle. "The guy's made of steel, he can handle it. The reason he shuts himself off from the world isn't because he can't handle a little nagging. It's something a lot deeper than that."

Silence descended on the crowd. Everyone knew Genma's words to be true, and they all briefly reflected on Kakashi now in comparison to the last time they'd seen him. He'd changed for sure, but no one really understood to what degree.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"What did you want to have for dinner, Senpai?" Tenzou asked as they strolled through the market.

"Anything but dumplings. I don't know why people like them so much." he muttered.

Tenzou laughed lightly. "I thought they were nice."

The copy-nin merely scrunched his nose in response. "I have something in mind. It'll be a surprise."

Tenzou's eyes widened ever so slightly. He'd never had a 'surprise' before. "Okay...I like that."

"I don't meet many ninja who enjoy surprises." Kakashi answered with a soft smile, although it was clear from his eyes that he understood Tenzou's excitement.

The younger ninja glanced down, slightly bashful, and played with the ends of his hair lightly. "I never thought I would get to experience so many new things."

Kakashi felt his heart twist. He gently placed two fingers under Tenzou's chin and tilted his head up so they could look at each other. "You have your whole life to do that, Tenzou. And there's a lot out there to discover."

A moment passed where the two had to stop walking, because they couldn't bare to tear their gazes away. Tenzou was filled with a sense of gratitude, of extreme affection and attachment. The only reason he was here now, making friends, having home-made dinners, was because of Kakashi. The only reason he'd ever gotten to experience intimacy with someone he respected, was because of Kakashi. How could he ever repay his captain for all of that?

Kakashi couldn't help but be overwhelmed with intense protectiveness. He needed to provide for Tenzou, make sure he was happy, safe, enjoying all the things Kakashi had taken for granted his entire life. Kakashi felt like trash, but he also felt invigorated. These last few weeks with Tenzou, and with his friends, had slowly melted the ice and shadows around his heart. He no longer felt that terror ripping at his stomach and clouding his brain. On the contrary, he felt an urge for warmth. Kakashi was still scared, and he knew he would be scared for a while to come. But the seed of friendship and intimacy had been planted and it wasn't going to go away.

Someone almost smacked into Tenzou and with profuse apologizes from all parties involved, Kakashi and Tenzou proceeded to his apartment without delay, but with significantly redder cheeks.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When they arrived, the second both ninja stepped into his apartment it was like a thick blanket descended on them. Tenzou was nervous because he was actually in his Senpai's apartment, and Kakashi was nervous because the last person to ever be in his apartment had been Gai when he was stalking Kakashi for rivalry matches. The copy-nin was suddenly paranoid of the cleanliness and decorativeness of his humble abode. Obviously, it was ridiculous for him to wonder if Tenzou thought his apartment was pathetic when the poor kid lived in an ANBU issued closet, but worried he was all the same.

"You can make yourself at home in the...ah. Well. I guess on my bed." Kakashi murmured as he realized he, too, did not own a couch.

"I'll help with cooking, Senpai. I'd rather be useful."

"Alright." Kakashi softly concluded, his voice at least two levels lower than it normally was. His throat actually felt as constricted as his gut did. He couldn't believe how nervous he was, it made absolutely no sense. He slowly padded over to his fridge and began taking out the ingredients for dinner. "I wanted to make orange chicken, if that's alright."

"Oh..." Tenzou gasped lightly. "I've never heard of that, it sounds good."

Kakashi smiled to himself and handed Tenzou a knife. "Here. You can chop the chicken."

As the two settled into the kitchen and began their preparations, Kakashi became more and more unsettled. He couldn't discern what he was feeling. Nervousness was one of them, excitement was another. When he looked at Tenzou, he felt a certain burning longing. He supposed they hadn't really been 'intimate' in a few days, so he wondered if he was craving him. It didn't help that they were in his apartment, a half second from his bed, where he'd NEVER had anyone of any importance before. It was like a new phase of his life was beginning. Maybe he wouldn't have to sleep alone again for a while to come. The thought caused pulses of electricity to surge through his veins. The idea seemed impossible, but here Tenzou was, and it didn't look like he had any intentions of leaving.

"Senpai...?"

"Ah. Sorry, did you say something?" Kakashi blinked away his thoughts, embarrassed.

"I asked if you had any pepper."

Cooking continued as normal, but Kakashi found it harder and harder to focus on what he was doing. He kept staring at Tenzou's face, or the back of his neck, or the small of his back, or the flexing of his shoulder blades. Tenzou's hair looked softer and fuller than ever, and the way his lips were curved in a permanent little smile as he worked make Kakashi's fingers itch.

Tenzou laughed at himself as he dropped a piece of orange on the floor, and as he bent to pick it up, Kakashi caught sight of his delightful rear and firmly decided to hell with this cooking shit. The copy-nin placed his knife on the counter, strutted up to Tenzou, and spun him around.

"What's-"

Tenzou's lips were firmly captured and his sentence effectively lost forever. A loud sigh brushed against Kakashi's lips as Tenzou pressed into him, his arms wrapping around his neck. Their kiss turned frenzied, both shinobi panting lightly. Kakashi gripped Tenzou's hips and lifted him up onto the counter. His hands had barely left Tenzou's hips when the mokuton user slid forward and pressed their groins together, twisting his legs around Kakashi's waist. They kissed fast, hard, their pace punishing their lips. Tenzou dug his fingers into the muscles of Kakashi's back and the copy-nin nearly groaned in response.

Lightning fast, Kakashi whirled Tenzou around, knocking the salt and pepper over in the process, and strutted out of the kitchen with him. The one nice thing about living in basic accommodation was that his room was not far away. In a moment Kakashi was through his bedroom door, and without further ado, dropped Tenzou onto his bed. The younger shinobi managed one bounce before Kakashi was on top of him. They stared at each other, both panting, both red faced, both craving the other.

"Your bed is so cold." Tenzou whispered.

"It's always cold in here."

Kakashi crawled forward, knelt above Tenzou and promptly pulled his shirt over his head. As he tossed it to the ground, Tenzou sat up and frantically did the same for Kakashi. They came together again, bare chests pressed together, kissing almost desperately. Kakashi marvelled at how tiny Tenzou was, yet so well built. His hands roamed the mokuton users hard back, toned from years of training with a sword, from slicing other men to ribbons. Kakashi suddenly felt ferociously protective. He wanted to shield Tenzou from ANBU, from the kind of missions it would force him to be on. He wanted him to live a normal life, for Tenzou's eyes to always be willed with warmth, and never to be cold and dead like he knew his had been.

Kakashi snapped back to the present when he realized he was instinctively yanking down Tenzou's pants. He stopped for a moment and glanced at his kouhai, concerned he'd frightened him. Tenzou's eyes were glazed over, his pupils dilated with obvious arousal. There was no fear or hesitation in his features. He wanted Kakashi, and he definitely wanted his pants off. With a flick of his wrists and a quick yank, Tenzou was free of his bottoms and Kakashi was kissing a line down his neck. A little gasp escaped Tenzou's throat as his head fell back, exposing more flesh to his Senpai. Kakashi's lips ghosted over Tenzou's collar bone, down his chest, little goose-bumps peppering his skin. Tenzou's nipples were hard, so Kakashi teased one lightly with the tip of his tongue. Tenzou gasped and jerked, his head shooting up. He didn't say anything, just looked embarrassed, as if he hadn't been expecting the contact.

"Are you ok?" Kakashi asked with a smirk.

"Yeah...sorry." Tenzou murmured, his face aflame.

"I have a very good idea of what I want to do to you, but now I want to make sure you're ready."

Tenzou's face went from bashful to determined. "I like it, Senpai. I trust you. I just...didn't know...you could do that." he stammered, glancing down.

"You can pretty much do anything. Depends how dirty your mind is." Kakashi quoted from his favourite book, ridiculously thankful that there was no way in hell Tenzou would ever read it.

His kouhai looked incredibly embarrassed and obviously stranded for ideas as to how dirty a persons mind could possibly get. Kakashi kept eye contact as he bent down again, nipping Tenzou's nipple gently, and grinning as the mokuton user yipped and moaned. Tenzou was far too bashful to continue watching Kakashi and let his head fall back again as Kakashi continued kissing down his chest. He could feel Tenzou's breath quicken the farther down he went, as if his body knew what was coming, even if Tenzou himself didn't.

Kakashi placed a kiss on Tenzou's abdomen before very casually flicking his tongue across the head of his penis.

"Ah!" Tenzou gasped, his hips bucking. He glanced down in shock, his eyes wide, but pleasantly surprised.

Kakashi stared at him, and when Tenzou gave no protests, dipped his head and sucked gently where his tongue had been. Tenzou's legs widened as his back slightly arched. Kakashi kissed a line down his length and Tenzou grasped the pillow ahead of him as his back pushed farther off the mattress.

"Oh..._Senpai_..." Tenzou moaned, his eyes squeezed shut.

Kakashi couldn't help but take all of Tenzou in his mouth, his desire to hear his voice and feel him squirm overtaking his original Icha Icha inspired idea of drawing everything out. Tenzou's thighs nearly crushed Kakashi's head as he moaned.

"Haaa!..haaa...Senpai, oh, oh..."

Tenzou arched so much he slightly scooted up the bed, but Kakashi kept with him and sucked hard. Tenzou moaned again, his legs opening. Kakashi sucked along Tenzou's length, swirling his tongue around the head of his penis before dipping down again. Tenzou's thighs were shaking and his breath was hitching, so Kakashi knew he was close. He slowed his ministrations, taking his time as he dragged his mouth down, flicking his tongue around the base, grasping Tenzou with his hand and pumping as his mouth pulled up again. It seemed the thing to do was swallow from the Icha Icha books, so when Tenzou breathed Kakashi's name and came with a long, light moan, Kakashi waited until he was done and sucked it down as fast as he could. Definitely...not the most pleasant texture or taste, which kind of made him second guess if he wanted to listen to the book on that tidbit.

Kakashi unconsciously wiped at the side of his mouth before glancing up. Tenzou was looking down at him, suddenly shy. He was holding the pillow to his chest, his legs folded up against his body. Kakashi smiled and crawled up the bed to sit beside him.

"You okay?"

Tenzou nodded vigorously, still not quite able to meet Kakashi's gaze. "Yes, Senpai. You..." he trailed off, bringing the pillow up to cover half of his face. Kakashi vaguely remembered him doing this before, on one of the first occasions they'd ever 'been together'. It was incredibly endearing that Tenzou became extremely shy and flustered after he discovered something 'new' with Kakashi. As if he still didn't know what to think, even after having experienced it.

"You...always make me feel so good." Tenzou breathed, and now, looked straight into Kakashi's eyes. Thick emotion danced across his face, his eyes slightly glistening. "I don't understand how you do it. But it's wonderful. Sometimes I...feel like I'll never be able to keep up. I just don't know anything, and you know so much."

Kakashi pulled Tenzou against him, feeling enormously guilty because lets face it; Kakashi had no damn idea what he was doing, either. Tenzou seemed to be one of the general populace who thought the copy-nin was some kind of Sexual Guru, when in reality, he was making everything up as he went along and using a soft-core porn book as his guide.

"Tenzou..." he breathed, gently running his fingers through his scalp. Kakashi had no choice but to at least partially fess up. His poor kouhai was basically feeling bad about himself for nothing. "I don't really know what I'm doing, either."

"You know a lot more than me..." Tenzou murmured against his Senpai's chest.

"Ah. No...not really. Whatever I know, I learned from a...mentor." he supplied, supposing that Jiraiya-sama _was _a sort of mentor. "He told me a thing or two, which has been helpful. But all of these things your experiencing with me for the first time...it's my first time, too."

Slowly, Tenzou tilted his head up and gazed at Kakashi. "...Really?"

"Yeah." he answered with a smile. "I wouldn't even let you touch me at first; remember?"

Tenzou _did _remember, and he felt like an idiot for forgetting. "Oh..."

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment as Tenzou processed what Kakashi said. "But, you're so good at everything."

"Maaaaa...weellll..." Kakashi stretched and folded his arms behind his head in what was a somewhat genuinely cocky gesture. "I suppose I'm just a natural. They _do_ call me a genius, you know."

Tenzou laughed lightly, and from the mirth in his eyes, Kakashi could tell he was placated. It made the copy-nin feel good to know that he had helped, even a little. Being embarrassed about his virginity to another _blatant_ virgin was just ridiculous, anyway.

Kakashi nearly jumped a mile when he felt something warm grind against his very raging erection. To his surprise, Tenzou's mirth had turned into impishness in less than a minute. At least...he thought it was impish. It was so hard to tell with Tenzou sometimes, who looked innocent no matter what he did.

"I can feel how hard you are, Senpai."

Kakashi stared. His hardness got a little harder. "Uh. Yah."

"You'll let me help?" Tenzou asked, his wide eyes basically asking Kakashi for permission to get him off. If it was even possible, he felt himself stiffen further.

"You can do whatever you feel comfortable with."

After just the slightest pause, Tenzou leaned forward and kissed Kakashi., obviously having no qualms about where his mouth had just been. The older jounin gasped lightly, but his partners lips were gone as quickly as they'd come. Soon he was watching Tenzou's face slowly retreat as his kouhai crawled down his body. A thought crossed Kakashi's mind and he grasped Tenzou's chin lightly before he was out of reach.

"When I tell you to, take your mouth away and finish me with your hands."

Tenzou stared in confusion. "I...don't remember that part."

"Just trust me." Kakashi instructed with a smile.

The mokuton user couldn't help but smile back. "Okay." he whispered, before turning back to his current goal.

No damn way was that gunk touching any part of Tenzou's body, especially his mouth.

The part of Kakashi that was irrationally protective of Tenzou forbade it.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After laying lazily against one another for around an hour, both of their stomachs began to protest their abandonment of dinner. With many sighs, the two put pants on and shuffled back to the kitchen. It amazed Kakashi how something as simple as merely enjoying Tenzou's presence, and continued lack of clothing, soothed him. His apartment felt warmer than it ever had, and Tenzou's smile made him feel lighthearted and free.

Everything had been left mid-preparation so it wasn't difficult for them to get going again. In no time dinner was ready, and the two knelt at Kakashi's small table and enjoyed it. The copy-nin had never wished for Sake so much in his life; for some reason it just seemed perfect for the occasion. Thankfully he'd never taken to drinking pathetically by himself, so he had no form of alcohol what-so-ever in his apartment.

The thought of a drunk, depressed Kakashi was a pretty damn scary one. Someone would lose an eye for sure.

"This is great, Senpai." Tenzou said as politely as he could around a mouthful of chicken.

"Thanks. I found the recipe on the back of a noodle box. I should read the back of boxes more often..."

"I never considered cooking like this before. We just ate what we had to in Root."

Kakashi frowned around his food. Just the mention of that piece of shit organization full of maniacs made his stomach churn. "That's because it was shitty there." he answered flatly.

Tenzou blinked in surprise. Then, he laughed, having to swallow some water quickly not to choke on his food. "Yes...it was 'shitty', Senpai."

Comfortable silence descended on them for a moment as they enjoyed a bit more of their dinner. Tenzou poked his rice around, something obviously on his mind. He looked like he was working up the will to say something. Kakashi was utterly oblivious, since he was trying to eat at a normal pace and not inhale his entire dinner. Damn he was starving. Stupid uncontrollable sexual urges.

"Kakashi-senpai..."

The copy-nin glanced up in mild surprise. Tenzou barely ever said his name anymore.

"You've gotten a lot better." The young shinobi continued with obvious hesitation. He seemed to be gauging Kakashi for his reaction, if he would accept the direction the conversation was going. In truth, it made the copy-nin's heart swell to hear Tenzou's opinion. After all, his kouhai had been the first one to really suffer because of his deep-buried issues. If anyone should have a say in Kakashi's improvement, it was him.

"Thank you, Tenzou." Kakashi answered softly as he smiled. "I feel a lot better, truthfully..."

"Even with your friends. I noticed a difference in just one day."

Kakashi glanced down at his food, suddenly slightly bashful. Sharing was still a little difficult for him, so he found it hard to formulate the kind of words he wanted to.

"I have you to thank for a lot of it, Tenzou. I wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for you."

Tenzou stared, his dinner pressed against his chest, as if it represented something precious to him. He curled into himself slightly before he spoke. "I...think about that all the time. But, with you...everything I get to experience now..." he stopped, looking slightly embarrassed. "I'm glad you feel better. You deserve to be happy, Senpai. And surrounded by people who care about you."

The two ninja sat there in thick, heavy silence, the affection shared between the two of them a weight on their lungs. Neither of them wanted to ruin this moment, but both of them wanted to speak. If it wasn't clear before, the fact that they were both increasingly important to each other was now blatantly obvious. Things were heading in a direction that terrified and excited Kakashi. It scared Tenzou, too. Both of them felt safer than they'd ever felt, yet completely vulnerable.

Finally, Kakashi gently lay his bowl down on the table. He stood fluidly, progressing the three short steps he needed to reach his kouhai. They stared at one another, both their chests heaving slightly as their hearts beat erratically. Kakashi knelt, crossed his legs, and scooped Tenzou into his lap. His subordinate did as he was bade, straddling Kakashi's waist, the two facing each other. Kakashi gently brushed his fingers down the sides of Tenzou's face, gliding them through the few strands of hair that fell in his way. He leaned forward, his fingers hold on Tenzou's face tightening slightly, and pressed a slow, deep kiss to his lips. Their mouths opened wide, tongues touching, speaking. Kakashi heard the barest little whimper from Tenzou, felt his thighs shaking just slightly. They kissed and kissed, slow and deep, eyes squeezed shut, hearts racing.

When their lungs could handle no more, they stopped, pulling apart only as far as they needed to. Kakashi did not let go of Tenzou's face. They seemed to be breathing in time with one another.

"If you care, then don't leave." Kakashi choked out, unable to meet Tenzou's gaze.

Tenzou was confused, as he didn't think he'd ever given Kakashi that kind of impression. "Why would I leave...?"

"Everyone leaves me."

The mokuton user paused in understanding. He chewed on his lip, unsure of how to answer. He'd seen so much death...how could a shinobi ever guarantee his life?

"I have more of a reason to live now than ever, Senpai. I'll train hard, and fight harder. It's all I can do for you."

Kakashi kissed him again, harder than before. Tenzou felt as if he could drown.

"I guess I'll take that." Kakashi chuckled around Tenzou's lips.

They embraced wordlessly, their kiss still glistening on their lips.

What happiness could a shinobi have?

Time would tell.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

THE END!

Haha, kidding. I'm gonna write an epilogue. Truthfully, I'm kinda sad to end this fic, because I do really enjoy writing these two. But, as I'm sure you all have noticed, it's harder and harder for me to put chapters out in a decent amount of time. I actually may get WAY more free time very soon, in which case I may just extend this fic or start another one. We'll see! MAYBE I'll finish Better Having Met You...I really didn't want to leave that fic hanging like that.

Thanks so much for reading, and for all your reviews 3 3


	13. Chapter 13

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi and Tenzou's unofficial vacation continued, with much less fanfare than their spunky friends provided. They decided to spend the following day just the two of them, which worked out well as most of their friends had conveniently been assigned missions that started that day.

Kakashi brought Tenzou to the memorial stone where he showed him the graves of his old team. It honoured the mokuton user that Kakashi would let him in on such a personal aspect of his life. Tenzou said a little prayer for them with Kakashi as they stood together in silence, acutely aware of how dampened his Senpai's demeanour instantly became.

It suddenly occurred to Tenzou that although he had many fallen test tube comrades, he had no real place to mourn them. He also had no idea what their names were, or where they`d really come from. It seemed sad that so many had died with no final resting place; who knows what Orochimaru had done with them.

The mokuton user felt a gentle touch at his shoulder and turned to regard his Senpai. Kakashi looked slightly concerned.

"I didn`t expect this place to affect you so much."

"Oh..." Tenzou started slightly, no realizing he had looked so upset. "I was just remembering the others."

It didn't take Kakashi long to figure out who "the others" were. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and seemed to concentrate on the ground. Tenzou watched him, completely confused as to what he could be thinking about for so long. Finally Kakashi glanced back up, smiling at Tenzou as he did so.

"There. A prayer for them too, then."

Tenzou stared at Kakashi with his mouth hanging open. For some irrational reason, that gesture had really touched him. He didn't know if he would ever stop mourning The Others, and having someone to understand and acknowledge his grief felt like an indescribable freedom in his heart. Tenzou stepped forward and quickly wrapped his arms around Kakashi's chest, pressing his face into his torso.

"Thanks." The young shinobi murmured into his Senpai's vest.

Kakashi gently held him, uncaring if anyone happened to see them. They stood together for another while before Tenzou's face started to stick to Kakashi's vest with sweat. The two ninja laughed and left, both feeling lighter than when they'd came.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next day found Tenzou and Kakashi together again, completely against the copy-nin's original goal of spending limited time with his kouhai. They only had three days left of their vacation, and with no small amount of anxiety, Kakashi realized he dreaded going back. He'd never felt so alive, so _normal_, in his life. He'd spent almost two days doing absolutely nothing with a horde of friends, and spent just as long getting to know Tenzou almost as thoroughly as his Icha Icha book. It was what everyone else in the village did when they didn't eat, sleep and breathe their jobs. It felt so right.

Kakashi and Tenzou currently lay haphazardly about Kakashi's apartment, with Kakashi sprawled out on his bed and Tenzou sitting just at the foot of it. The copy-nin was reading a book about plants to Tenzou as the mokuton user attempted to replicate what was said to him.

"Something called a Bonzai tree..."

"Oh, I've done that one."

"Hmm. Bird of Prey flower?"

Tenzou whirled around with wide eyes. "That sounds great! Show me."

Kakashi smiled and flipped the book around. His young companion looked like his head was going to explode with excitement upon laying his childlike eyes on the beautiful flower.

"Okay..."

He sat down, his back facing Kakashi, and concentrated. Out from the palms of his talented hands blossomed a colourful, branching flower that looked a startling amount like the head of a tropical bird.

"Nicely done." Kakashi praised quietly.

"I think this is my favourite." Tenzou whispered, his eyes glued to his creation.

Kakashi laughed lightly and tousled Tenzou's hair. "You've already said that. Twice."

The young ninja blushed as he gently placed the stem of the flower in a pot of water beside him. "I can't help it. I just love them all."

"You're going to make me jealous."

Tenzou turned to Kakashi, noting the lightness of his voice and assuming he wasn't serious, but wanting to see his face all the same. The jounin's impish grin confirmed Tenzou's thoughts.

"Do you ever...? Get jealous? I can't picture it."

Kakashi glanced up at the ceiling in exaggerated thought. "Maaaa...not that I can recall. Only fools feel jealousy." The copy-nin finished with fake haughtiness.

"I don't think I've ever been jealous, either, but I could see it happening."

One graceful eyebrow swooped up on Kakashi's brow. "Oh? When would you get jealous?"

Tenzou toyed with the ends of Kakashi's shirt as he answered. "I suppose...if you were paying special attention to someone else."

The air around them grew just a smidgeon thicker as Kakashi leaned in close. "You're the only person who can get my attention, Tenzou."

His grip around Kakashi's shirt tightened. "Then I'll never be jealous."

They stared at each other, Tenzou's breath coming quicker, the energy between them almost tangible in the air. Slowly, Tenzou rested the tips of his fingers at the base of Kakashi's neck. They seemed to freeze there.

"Have I ever told you how handsome you are, Senpai?"

Kakashi actually had to think about that question for a second. "I don't know."

Tenzou swallowed just slightly. "You are. It's...arresting, actually. Even with your mask, even when you're terrifying and dangerous, it's the first thing you notice."

A warm pressure descended on Tenzou's hand as Kakashi pressed down on his fingers, his eyes unrelenting and intense. "You think I'm _arrestingly_ handsome?"

As hard as it was, Tenzou refused to be bashful. He stared back, though his answer was soft.

"Yes."

A little wolfish grin popped up just at the corners of Kakashi's mouth. "The first thing you noticed about me was that I was handsome?"

Tenzou could not stop a blush this time. "It...sounds ridiculous when you put it like that."

"I'm just teasing." Kakashi chuckled. He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the side of Tenzou's mouth.

"When I met you again for the second time, when you were 13, you flustered me." Kakashi breathed against Tenzou's skin. "I didn't understand why, but I was nervous. I'd never really been attracted to anyone before."

Tenzou felt a shiver rush down his body.

"Oh..."

They'd never talked about this before; their first meetings. Their first impressions. Kakashi had been attracted to him, too. He almost couldn't believe it.

"This might seem kind of creepy, but to me, it was the closest thing to a first date I ever had."

Tenzou smiled. "You think one of Orochimaru's old labs is romantic, Senpai?"

"You didn't?" Kakashi teased the words into Tenzou's skin, and the younger shinobi couldn't help but giggle just once as he shuddered against him.

Kakashi slowly pulled back until their noses touched. For just the slightest moment, they paused like that, barely connected but burning hot against one another. The next second they were kissing, deep and slow. They fell back against Kakashi's bed, clawing at clothes, gripping flesh. The book lay forgotten at the side of the bed, leaning against the pot of flowers Tenzou had created.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Their vacation was over far too fast for either of their likings. The last day was spent in Kakashi's apartment, laying in bed, reading books, cooking, and generally doing nothing. The copy-nin couldn't believe how wonderful it was. Tenzou was like an extension of himself, another person but not at all. He had never felt so safe and comfortable around another human being. He found himself content merely being in his presence. They both knew that moments like this could be few and far in between when they returned, so there was a heavy air of almost sacredness about them the entire day. Tenzou became obsessed with filling Kakashi's apartment with life. He potted all the flowers he created, and placed several more around the copy-nin's apartment.

"They give off a positive energy." Tenzou stated as he gently positioned a large fern in Kakashi's window.

Kakashi chuckled lightly. "Whatever you say."

That night, as they lay in bed, Kakashi found himself speechless. He didn't know how to describe what he had experienced during their time off together. Despite being hesitant, and in some cases rightly so, the time they had spent with his friends meant a lot to him. He felt a little flame reigniting in his heart, one that craved fuel to grow. He knew he would be seeing a lot more of them in the future.

The time he and Tenzou had spent together, well...he was still trying to piece together what that had birthed in him.

The next morning, as soon as they arrived at the base, Kakashi was handed a very hefty mission scroll and it was business as usual for the two ANBU. Mission debriefs, planning and intelligence gathering commenced immediately. The nice thing was that everyone on their team was in good spirits, having been refreshed from the same week long break the lovers had been.

"Can you believe that; one week in between missions? It's like the holidays."

"Pft. As if we get holidays."

Their team chattered amongst each other as Kakashi drew up some formations before concluding their second debrief. It was a week long mission, mostly travel time, but it was one that required intense study of the country and mission parameters before going. Normally, Kakashi loved being immersed in his work, but he couldn't help but feel disappointed this time. He'd kind of hoped they'd have an easier first week back so that he and Tenzou could slowly wind down the time they spent together instead of having to stop cold turkey. They would be with their team the entire week; no chance for any time to themselves.

Thankfully, the mission kept them both busy enough that they didn't notice. It _was _mostly travel time, but they were journeying through enemy territory so every single one of them had to be on high alert at all times. And, according to recent intelligence, the enemy may have been tipped that they were coming. That was extra scouting for Tenzou, and far more caution for the rest of the team.

When they returned, everyone was so thankful they were still alive that no one complained about immediately filling in mission reports. Silence hung around the ANBU shinobi like a shroud as they went about their tedious work. Kakashi and Tenzou were, naturally, the last ones in the room. With a loud sigh, the captain sealed their reports. Kakashi sat back against his chair, running a tired hand through his bangs.

"What a way to end a vacation." he muttered.

Tenzou nodded. "That was a difficult mission, Senpai. Everyone handled themselves well, though."

"Mm."

They sat in silence for a moment longer.

"Want to spend the night with me?" Kakashi blurted out quickly.

Tenzou smiled brightly and bashfully at Kakashi's request.

"Of course, Senpai. I would like it very much..."

In a flash, Kakashi was up from his chair. He comically tossed his bundle of scrolls behind his back, then shot his hand out to Tenzou. With a light laugh, Tenzou accepted it, and they were gone.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tenzou and Kakashi's relationship continued to blossom under the dark, secretive world of ANBU. However, Kakashi's therapist refused to cut his sessions short, so Kakashi was still required to see his friends at least three times a week. To Hiruzen and Ami's delight, they never heard Kakashi complain about their arrangement. Most of his time was spent with Gai, but Kurenai and Asuma began to see Kakashi so much that they felt he had finally returned to their circle. Slowly, Genma and Raidou were added to that list. Hayate was a bit of a loner by nature, but the group saw him from time to time.

Missions went on with much less anxiety for Kakashi than they initially had. Tenzou continued to improve, to the point where the copy-nin was so confident in his abilities that Kakashi hardly paid attention to what he was doing. He would assign him a task, go about his business, and in record time Tenzou would return successful. It was almost a joke.

Their personal time varied depending on the business of missions, but they always found time to be together. Kakashi refused to spend time in Tenzou's "depressing" ANBU apartment, and so most of their alone time was with Kakashi in his apartment. In reality, the copy-nin was just selfishly hogging Tenzou's warmth. His apartment, once cold and empty, now seemed like a real home. He feared an absence of Tenzou for an extended period of time would revert his now humble abode back to its former bachelor state.

To Kakashi's delight, Tenzou took to his group of friends easily and seemingly effortlessly. Genma, though he had teased him mercilessly at first, clearly had a soft spot for the little mokuton-user. Kakashi realized he'd eventually have to divulge more 'information' about Tenzou to them, but Kakashi never put in more effort than was absolutely necessary in those situations. He'd wait it out.

"Everything is going well, I assume?" Gai asked around his sake. The two rivals sat alone at a bar one evening, quietly enjoying each others company.

"Yes." Kakashi answered softly as he toyed with his cup. "I couldn't ask for anything more. I never would have expected this."

Gai chuckled and slapped Kakashi on the back in his usual rough manner. "Excellent! It does seem that all worth-while things come unexpected, don't they?"

Kakashi could only murmur lightly in response. His friend stared at him in question, obviously sensing something was on Kakashi's mind.

"What is it?"

A small exhale. "I just keep expecting things to fall apart. For missions to make it impossible for us to see each other, or for one of us to become too jaded by our lifestyle to continue. Actually, maybe I'm afraid of that happening to me. Tenzou...he's so open minded. He just accepts things as they are, no over thinking involved. He's the opposite of me..."

Kakashi slowly put his cup down and slunk a little lower in his chair. Gai chewed on his lip, genuinely worried as he watched his friend's melancholy increase. He knew Kakashi; everything he'd been through had permanently warped his mind to always look forward to the 'end' of everything. It was probably a self-fulfilling prophecy; if he kept thinking about how he and Tenzou would cease to be, they would.

"My friend. What is the sense in anticipating the demise of your relationship? You're happy now, aren't you? Enjoy yourself."

Kakashi ran his finger around the lip of their sake bottle, unable to find the words to answer. Gai sighed.

"How long have you, happily and without issue, been together?"

Kakashi thought for a moment. "Seven months?"

"Very well. I have a challenge for you, Kakashi!" Gai suggested with a large grin. "I challenge you to make it to one year with Tenzou without any Kakashi-antics. No running off, no getting scared, no pushing him away. If you win this challenge, I shall run around the village 100 times whilst knitting a sweater!"

Kakashi blinked. Gai grinned.

"W...what if something else-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Gai interjected, waving his finger in admonishment. "No excuses. I do not believe in this 'something else'. It is up to you, I know it is."

Slowly, Kakashi's startled look faded away. He smiled lightly under his mask, his eyes turning up into a very familiar 'U' shape.

"I hope you like sweaters."

"Haha!" Gai stuck his hand out with vigour. "And...if you fail, you must leave ANBU immediately."

Kakashi was about to shake Gai's hand, sealing the deal, but yanked it back as soon as Gai finished setting his terms.

"I can't do that. That's out of my control..."

"No." Gai answered firmly. "It is not."

"Running 100 laps doesn't come close to quitting ANBU."

"No..." Gai started. "...but, I do not expect you to lose this challenge, Kakashi. So. I WILL be running 100 laps, while you shall not be leaving ANBU. In that way, it is fair."

Kakashi couldn't help the grin that came to his lips. He glanced down, trying to hide his mirth from his friend. Kakashi finished what he'd started a moment before and clasped Gai's hand firmly.

"Deal."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

For reasons Kakashi would only understand later in life, the challenge actually helped him forget about his paranoia. Who wouldn't want to see Gai running while knitting a sweater? It needed to happen. Focusing on some kind of goal other than he and Tenzou's relationship seemed to take the pressure off of him. He stopped worrying about what would happen, and instead felt determined to make it as far as he could with his kouhai.

Their relationship not only progressed emotionally, but professionally as well. It was almost coming up to three years working with the mokuton user, and Kakashi was honestly beginning to feel ridiculous thinking of Tenzou as his 'kouhai'. The kid had ridiculous skill that was very quickly surpassing every other shinobi in ANBU. He was, hands down, second only to Kakashi in their team. Sometimes Kakashi heard people murmuring Tenzou's name in the hall, especially in association with Kakashi, as they knew he was his captain. In no time at all, Tenzou would surely be a dominating force in the organization, if he wasn't already. With a light smile, Kakashi wondered how long Tenzou would call him 'Senpai'.

"Senpai!"

Kakashi chuckled to himself at the echo of his thoughts as he turned. Tenzou, his eyes bright and his smile wide, advanced on his Senpai from the locker room.

"Were you out with Gai today?"

"Mmm." Kakashi answered as he touched the small of Tenzou's back in greeting. They kept their interactions as discreet as possible in public for obvious reasons.

"That's great. I was just training with Shuju-san. He's afraid his taijutsu is getting rusty, so I helped him with it a bit."

Kakashi couldn't help the pride that swelled in his chest. Damn right Tenzou was already training people.

"Maaaa. Better watch your place, kouhai. Your still our rookie."

Tenzou pouted and Kakashi fought hard to keep his expression schooled.

"Senpai..."

"What? I'm only trying to keep peace and order in the team."

Tenzou's incredulous look continued and Kakashi soon broke down into a grin.

"I thought you would learn not to take me seriously by now, Tenzou."

"The art of deciphering your moods still eludes me." The mokuton user replied flatly, clearly not as amused as Kakashi.

The copy-nin just sighed dramatically and threw an arm around Tenzou's shoulder.

"It's alright. I understand being insecure. I'd give it another year at least before you rise in the ranks. Don't worry; it'll go by fast."

Kakashi jumped away as Tenzou playfully made for his sword.

Another ANBU walked by and the two waved pleasantly to him. When their comrade was out of sight, Kakashi tilted his head as an indication for the two of them to leave.

"Where to?" Tenzou whispered.

The corny line 'anywhere as long as I'm with you' popped into Kakashi's head instantly, and before he could even snicker at himself, he realized it was true. It took him so a-back that he stood there staring blankly over Tenzou's shoulder for a few seconds. When his kouhai gently waved his small hand in front of his face to snap him out of his revere, Kakashi's instinctive reaction was to bend down and kiss Tenzou through his mask.

The two ANBU shinobi stood there in shock, staring at each other.

"Senpai..." Tenzou finally whispered, more of a question than anything. Both of them obviously wanted to remain as private as possible, but Kakashi was definitely the adamant one out of the two of them.

"It just kind of happened." Kakashi murmured lamely.

A slow smile spread along Tenzou's pleasant face.

"It was nice."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It seemed that Gai had had proper faith in Kakashi for their challenge. Eight months, nine months, ten months passed like they were nothing. Some were harder than others, especially the nine month mark, where the ANBU missions were particularly long and gruesome. Kakashi and Tenzou got into their worst major, blow out fight at that point. They had just returned from a mass assassination mission; the kind of mission where ANBU recruits were notorious for losing their marbles. The two lovers were stressed, bloody, injured and tired. They had both seen too much death; had caused too much death.

In the locker room the team slowly peeled off their bloody uniforms. A staff member was actually there to gather their things and get them professionally cleaned; that only happened on very specific missions, especially ones where all evidence had to be destroyed.

Kakashi and Tenzou's lockers were on opposite sides of the room since Tenzou had joined so late. But, as always, the two were the last ones in the room. Everyone else slowly departed without saying a word; some home, some off to the hospital.

Senpai and kouhai rifled through their belongings in silence. Neither felt like talking. Kakashi went to shut his locker, but instead of merely closing it, ended up slamming it shut instead. Both Tenzou and Kakashi nearly jumped out of their skins. With a loud sigh, Kakashi opened his locker and closed it properly again, fiddling with his lock.

"Are you alright, Senpai?" Tenzou asked quietly.

"What a stupid question." Kakashi snapped.

With a large frown, Tenzou turned back to his locker, refusing to dignify his captains harsh answer with a response.

Tense, thick silence dominated until Kakashi finished with his things, turned on his heel and simply walked out of the locker room.

"Senpai-!" Tenzou called after him, but Kakashi merely closed the door between them in response.

Tenzou's jaw dropped. He felt rage burn its way up his chest. He had been on the SAME mission as Kakash, yet he wasn't acting like an asshole. What the actual fuck.

Despite all logical thought in his brain telling him to leave Kakashi the heck alone, Tenzou stood, slammed his locker shut and stormed out after his Senpai.

When the mokuton-user reached the hallway, he found it empty. Kakashi had merely teleported home without a word.

Well. Fine.

With a loud huff, Tenzou formed his hand sign and returned to his own apartment.

The next morning all team members, unless in such a mental state that they could not safely attend, were expected to have a mission debrief meeting. It was the most awkward hour Tenzou could remember in the last half a year. If his team didn't know something was going on between them, unless everyone was too out of it to notice the tension, they sure as fuck would know now.

Kakashi and Tenzou literally glared at each other the entire time. Whenever Kakashi addressed Tenzou it would take the young shinobi a good five full seconds to muster up the professionalism to answer him. Not that it was that much of an issue, because Kakashi did his damned best to ignore Tenzou the whole time. As soon as Kakashi announced the meeting was done and dismissed them, Tenzou stood almost violently and stormed out of the room.

When he reached his apartment it took all of Tenzou's willpower not to slam his door shut like a child. He tried to steady his breathing, but he was _furious_. Furious and hurt and...and frustrated. It was horrible. Never in his life had he felt like this, so out of control...the only other time he'd been so emotional was the night he confronted Danzou, when he'd left Root.

That thought process reminded him of Kakashi coming to his rescue. It was like a cool blanket being placed over his shoulders. Kakashi...he was good. He was kind. He really was.

Some of the anger dissipated from him. He felt like he could breathe normally again.

A loud knock sounded at his door, and suddenly, his temper flared again. There was only one person that could be.

Tenzou threw the door open and came face to face with Kakashi, his chest heaving just as much as Tenzou's was.

"What is your _problem_?" Kakashi snapped.

Tenzou was, for just a second, mute from shock.

"WHAT?" He practically screamed. "_MY_ problem!?"

"The way you acted at the mission debrief-"

"-YOU were the one who was rude to _me_-!"

"I hardly think that constitutes-"

"I can't see how you're thinking AT ALL, or we wouldn't be HAVING this conversation!"

Kakashi went silent, and the two of them glared absolute daggers at each other, their chests heaving so heavily the sounds of their breathing seemed to echo down the hallway.

"You were cruel yesterday and now you're cruel again today." Tenzou concluded, his voice shaking from anger.

That seemed to snap Kakashi back to reality. He spun, walked to the other end of the hall, seemed to have a momentary thought before he turned around and stomped back to Tenzou. He rested his arm on the door frame above his kouhai's head and leaned forward. He seemed to still be considering things, considering his actions.

"I-" He started, but decided that was not the thing he wanted to say. "I was not being cruel. I was just tired."

"Tired? I was tired too, Senpai. We were both there together, remember?"

Kakashi pursed his lips. He glared. However, despite his stubbornness, he seemed considerably less wound up. "I...may have been harsh, yes."

Tenzou crossed his arms and tilted his head.

Kakashi sighed. "FINE. I was harsh. It was unnecessary. Sometimes I'm just...I'm just so sick of all of this. Sometimes I don't know why I'm here. And I couldn't control myself..."

The copy-nin ducked his head slightly. "I'm sorry. I am."

Well. Tenzou felt like a cape of lead had fallen off of his shoulders. He took a tiny step forward, so that he was almost standing directly under Kakashi. "I understand, Senpai. It was a hard mission. I should have been more patient, but I...I was just so affected by your mood."

Kakashi smiled very faintly, brushing his knuckles gently under Tenzou's chin. "I guess I do that to people." He frowned again. "I'm sorry. I acted childish, and I didn't mean it towards you."

Tenzou found himself blushing from embarrassment. "Ah...speaking of childish. I'm sorry, too. I really should have been able to keep it together better than that..."

They both shared a bit of a laugh, neither one believing how over the top they'd been.

"You really...affect me, Senpai. Really." Tenzou whispered, his wide eyes capturing his lovers.

Any residual anger evaporated as they gazed into each others eyes. It had become clear, long ago, how much either one meant to the other. But still...it was moments like this that really drove it home.

"I guess I should be more sensitive then, shouldn't I?" Kakashi murmured as he slowly dipped his head. He paused, unsure if Tenzou wanted to kiss him. But, sure enough, the softest lips pressed up against his. Before either of them had any idea what they were doing, they were on Tenzou's bed. A little voice in the back of Kakashi's head asked him if he'd even bothered to close the door. He had no idea, but there was no way in hell he was stopping now.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next three months passed by in a whirlwind. The cold season was coming, which every single ANBU shinobi dreaded with a passion. There was a large calendar hanging in the main hallway with the first week of snowfall highlighted in red marker. Weather was not a factor in missions; there could be a blizzard and you still had to sit out there and assassinate/guard/monitor. ANBU had nearly lost body parts from frost bite before. Generally, the people of ANBU were skilled enough to use chakra to warm themselves...but you didn't always have much chakra to spare.

Kakashi and Tenzou strolled through the cold, yet still bustling streets of Konoha on one of their days off. The goal: dumplings. Kakashi had finally admitted he actually really liked the steamed ones. Tenzou was so pleased he decided he would take Kakashi out and treat him to them.

On their way to the dumpling stand, they ran into Gai. The green clad shinobi waved enthusiastically and ran over.

"MY FRIENDS!"

"Hello, Gai." Tenzou greeted cheerfully. Kakashi raised his hand in greeting.

"Yo."

"It has been weeks, my friends!" Gai exclaimed as he posed before them.

"Ah...yes, sorry. We've been much busier than usual." Tenzou answered softly.

"I meant to come and see you yesterday, actually." Kakashi commented casually.

Tenzou turned bright red.

Gai rubbed his chin. "Oh? Busy with work?"

"Yes." Kakashi responded far too easily. "Working very hard."

Tenzou's red index increased to the power of ten.

"Well, that is only natural, I suppose." Gai sighed. "All the same, it is good to see you now! Where are you off to?"

Kakashi could see Tenzou was busy passing out from a rush of blood to the head, so he went ahead and answered. "Steamed dumplings."

"AH! I love dumplings! I...would not be intruding if I joined you?" Gai attempted casually.

Kakashi smiled. "Of course not."

Tenzou, recovered from his unspoken embarrassment, smiled as well. "You're always welcome."

Gai's jaw dropped, but he quickly picked it back up and laughed it off. He still wasn't used to Kakashi easily accepting his company, despite the fact that it had been around seven months since he became active in his life again.

The three continued the short walk to the dumpling stand. As they sat down to order, Tenzou realized he had forgotten to specify something and ran back to the counter. As soon as he was gone, Gai leaned in to Kakashi with a giant grin on his face.

"Do you realize what month this is?"

Kakashi blinked. "Yes...I own a calendar."

Gai laughed easily. "No, no, my friend. Do you remember our challenge?"

All the colour seemed to drain from Kakashi's face. He sat there, obviously in disbelief. Gai merely grinned.

"Wait."

A nod from Gai.

"No."

Another nod from Gai.

Kakashi raised his hand and started counting off fingers. He finished both hands, then counted two fingers again on his left. He stared at them like they were made out of gold.

"...It's been a year." Kakashi gasped.

Gai slapped him, hard, on the back. "Congratulations! You are, by all social standards, in a long term relationship."

Kakashi couldn't believe it. He'd barely paid attention to the time. He'd just been so busy, and with the challenge he'd just been determined not to stress about it...he had really wanted Gai to run and knit a sweater at the same time.

Tenzou returned and Kakashi tried to act normal, but he was in disbelief. He felt...normal. He'd successfully been with someone, romantically, intimately, for a YEAR. Without leaving him, without freaking out. It was impossible, but he'd calculated it, and Gai was right.

He'd shared himself, and he'd shared someone else, for a YEAR.

Tenzou tried to get Kakashi's attention several times, but the poor man was in a stupor. Gai was grinning from ear to ear the entire time, shamelessly unhelpful to poor Tenzou. Finally, the taijutsu master stood.

"I believe I will get going now, my friends."

Tenzou gaped. "But...the dumplings."

"They are on me. Consider them a congratulatory present."

The poor mokuton user looked genuinely flustered.

"What..."

Gai winked at him, then placed a firm, warm hand on Kakashi's shoulder.

"I will begin my payment now. If you would like a purple sweater, please let me know. For some reason the purple colour called to me that day."

Kakashi merely nodded mutely. As Gai walked away, Tenzou stared in slight frustration. Something was clearly going on and everyone felt it would be awesome to leave him out of it.

"Senpai." Tenzou called sternly. "Really. What is -"

Tenzou yelped loudly as Kakashi tackled him from the bench. They landed, thankfully in a comfortable position, just under the table they had been seated on and relatively out of sight. Tenzou merely stared up at his Senpai in shock. He had no idea what to say.

"Tenzou." Kakashi breathed. His eyes almost seemed to glisten. The mokuton user could not believe the emotion in them.

"I love you."

The entire world froze. There were no sounds, no movements. There barely seemed to be air. All Tenzou could fathom was Kakashi, his warmth, his eyes, and his words. He opened his mouth to speak, but only a soft puff of breath escaped him.

"I love you." Kakashi repeated, his grip on Tenzou tightening.

"Senpai." Tenzou whimpered, as two small tears streamed down his face. "How...you couldn't..."

Kakashi kissed him, he hugged him, he pressed into him.

"I love you, I love you, I love you..." Kakashi chanted, as if he wanted to get them all out, get them all out before he couldn't say them anymore.

Tenzou wept and gripped Kakashi, barely able to speak.

"I...love you, Senpai..." Tenzou breathed, holding Kakashi so tightly his arms hurt. "I...really, really-"

He was kissed again, and again, and again. They lay on the ground, their dumplings thankfully taking much longer to come than they reasonably should. They lay on the ground and said all the things it had taken them a year to say.

All the things Kakashi never thought he'd say to anyone.

All the things Tenzou hadn't known existed.

For the first time in his life, Kakashi wasn't concerned with endings. He wasn't drowning in the past. He was just so grateful to have Tenzou, to have met him, to have loved him, that at least for the moment, he didn't care what happened.

Their dumplings came eventually. They took them to go.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I AM SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW GUYS.

I can't handle Naruto ending. I can't handle Kakashi, going off on his own, 40 ish years old. I also can't handle Tenzou getting like three panels in 699 and then that's it. That's probably going to BE it. It's all just so final. I CAN'T DEAL I CAN'T :(. It's so unmotivating...although I guess it did motivate me to finish this epilogue. I'm gonna miss those crazy guys, especially Kakashi...I guess I can always read the ENTIRE series again, but...it's not the same.

I didn't want to continue the fanfic past this point, because...it would take a LOT of creative writing to keep them together past the war since Tenzou was MIA for like...a hundred chapters? Years? Yah. YAH. And I couldn't stand writing them breaking up for some ridiculous reason like Kakashi starting his life over and leaving ANBU. People do stuff like that in real life all the time, BUT THIS ISN'T REAL LIFE.

I thought I wouldn't want to write anymore past Yamato not even getting half a panel in the epilogue, but it just made me more determined than ever lol. Although. I guess I should be thankful that he's a) not dead and b) showed up at all. He deserved to, since he was in a pretty good chunk of the manga, but you never know sometimes. So, we'll see! I can sense One Shots on the horizon...

Thanks so much for all your reviews, guys! Means a lot! KEEP STRONG SHIPPERS * sobs *


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